Health | Piss and Moan

Bah humbug

Posted on December 24, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by kat wilcox on Pexels.com

The eve of Christmas has come and I am not sure how I feel about it this year. I seem to have gotten a case of the “Bah Humbug”s and the joy of the season (though I know the Reason) just hasn’t come through yet for me.

I am beginning to wonder if it even will.

This year, more than any in the past, just seems lost. There is no joy in receiving, we all know that. But this year there also seems to be no joy in giving either. I feel as though the just isn’t joy in anything.

Perhaps I have been to busy to notice. Perhaps I have been just going through the motions. Perhaps I just don’t care enough. Or maybe I care too much, because the stresses of life are all getting in the way.

So today I will go through the motions, in the hopes that it generates something inside, of wishing you a Merry Christmas Eve.

Consider yourself wished.

Yes, please, treat me

Posted on December 20, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Leigh Patrick on Pexels.com

Actually, don’t. Stop it already.

Yes, I want all your office treats that you don’t want. No, I don’t want all the office treats that you don’t want. I mean really, it’s a battle that I have been waging for a long time.

Fellow office mates, “Hmm, I am not really into chocolate. I’ll give it to, Grumpy. He eats everything.”

Fellow office mates, “There are leftover cupcakes from the party. Grumpy, do you want them?”

I am trying to lose weight, so why does everyone bring their crap to me? Oh, well, maybe I should actually tell them NO instead of eating it. I just hate to waste food.

I am my own worst enemy.

Yep, I’m THAT dad

Posted on December 19, 2018 by backuphill

blue and gray concrete house with attic during twilight

Photo by Benji Mellish on Pexels.com

Temperature is an important thing. It can’t be too hot and and it can’t be too cold. That is why I commissioned as scientific study (not really) of the atmosphere in the house and I have set the thermostat to the perfect temp for every occasion and every moment of the day.

So, SO HELP ME if someone touches the freaking thermostat! Period. It was perfect where it was at both in temperature but also on energy consumption. Leave it alone!

I swear the next person I see touch the thermostat…IMA BOUT TO COME UNCORKED!! I’m gonna break their fingers, and the next person after that (since they didn’t learn from the previous example) will get their fingers cut off and feed to the dog (ok not really, but it sounds good)!

Just. Leave. It. Alone.

If you’re hot, wear less clothing. If you’re cold, wear more clothing. Just don’t touch the thermostat.

Anyone else have to deal with this? Am I insane? It is really that hard to just not touch?

Can this really be a thing?

Posted on December 17, 2018 by backuphill

In the last week before Christmas, this little pass may just come in handy. Thought I would share with you too in case you would like a little stress relief also.

TMI?

Posted on December 13, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Foodie Factor on Pexels.com

Are you all ready for this?

It perhaps falls into the TMI category…

What is the deal with the biology or science or chemistry or whatever behind this?

Consume asparagus = Get stinky pee.

Why?

And I am not talking like hours later. I am talking like within 30 minutes. So weird.

Why?

I suppose I could Google it, since it is the knower of all things. But I wanna know your explanation. Make something up! Tell me the truth. Just give me an answer because, like the old commercial used to say, “Inquiring minds want to know.”

Why?

bathroom interior interior design restroom

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The Office Donut

Posted on December 11, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Pexels.com

There they are, staring at me like a cat about to eat the canary.

It feels weird to complain about donuts, but dang it already I am going to.

I don’t need these. It is December, the month of Christmas treats everywhere.

I have no will power.

Stupid donuts.

Guess I’ll eat as many as possible so they stop staring at me.

Cold and wet

Posted on December 10, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Andrew Haimerl on Pexels.com

OK, I am done with winter.

Particularly the cold and wet part of it.

The upper left corner of the US doesn’t get a lot of snow, at least on the coastal side of the mountains, but the rain seems to be endless. And the dark lasts forever, but not like Alaska dark forever. Just “I went to work and went home in the dark” forever.

Sheesh, we haven’t even made it to the winter solstice yet…

I.am.done.

Food Coma, part deux

Posted on November 23, 2018 by backuphill

As if one day of belly busting isn’t enough, we have two.

What’s worse? They are only 18 hours apart, so I will be bellying up to the table again in just a couple hours! I am pretty sure my colon hasn’t finished processing the first round of Thanksgiving edibles.

I am so full I haven’t even thought about Black Friday shopping…ok, well maybe a little but I can’t even do online shopping enthusiastically (not that I am ever enthusiastic about anything) because it is still hard to move.

So, here’s to holding down the toilet from the first go round to empty the main tank and get ready for the second round of tummy ache.

How do you manage the after holiday tummy stretching?

Breath of fresh air

Posted on November 19, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

I have a little dog that sleeps on the bed.

It wasn’t my choice, but it sleeps better (as in all night) and we don’t have to let it out to go pee in the middle of the night if we let it sleep there.

Sometimes, it has gas. And good lord, does that little body produce some terrible odor! How in the world does something that small make such a foul smell? It doesn’t seem to matter what it eats, it just has gas.

Sometimes I get up in the middle of the night, which I hate doing, just so I can breathe.

Do you know of anyone or anything that makes you have to get up and leave for fresh air?

adult air beautiful beauty

Your snore is anything but a bore

Posted on November 15, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Ivan Obolensky on Pexels.com

Someone in the bedroom last night was snoring and it wasn’t me.

Well, not really snoring so much as a honking. It’s very nasal-ly and not a deep-throated snore like most. Instead, it is loud enough to be heard and annoying enough to keep you awake but not obnoxious enough to wake everyone else in the house or neighborhood.

So, yeah, sleep last night was sparse to say the least.

To be fair, I snore too. But when I do it, I am at least serious about it.

Oh, and the dog snores too. So there’s that.

So, laying awake at night and staring at the ceiling is fun. Not.

Anyone else tortured by this affliction? Or are you doing the torturing?