It cuts not so deep

straight razor kit

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The morning ritual of shaving (something my face can’t handle on a daily basis so I alternate) has got to be one of the worst forms of torture. Can I just stop hair growth on my face?

For a tiny little razor, it sure makes my face bleed red. How is that possible?

The blades are minuscule, and for the most part they lay flat on my face. I try to keep the angle correct, yet somehow I end up with red spots and scrapes and my face looks like I was attacked by a lawnmower. Those little cuts are just enough to be annoying but not deep enough to be a medical emergency.

Ugh, I hate it. And yet, I don’t really have an alternative. So, the torture continues…every other day.

Throw the flag!

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Alright football fans, do you ever find yourself yelling this at the TV (or if you’re lucky to attend the game, at the actual refs)?

What if there were penalty flags in real life? Wouldn’t that be great if there was a way to immediately have feedback from a random third party that could “throw the flag” as a penalty when someone wrongs you?

Cut you off in traffic? PENALTY FLAG! Move back three cars.

Rudely interrupts a conversation at a restaurant? PENALTY FLAG! They pay for my dinner.

Neighbor’s dog craps in the yard and they don’t clean it up? PENALTY FLAG! They have to mow my lawn for a month.

Someone in the house eats your leftovers? PENALTY FLAG! They have to cook every night for a week.

What do you think? Could you go for this? What are some places you’d love to have someone “throw the flag” in your life? (or, if you’re brave, maybe places you DON’T want a flag thrown!)

Pardon the interruption?

group of people in conference room

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Rude, I tell ya. Absolutely rude.

The weekend was going along just fine only to be interrupted by a Monday. And a Monday it is.

How about an all staff meeting to start your Monday morning? Or your week? However you look at it, this isn’t the best way to start. Can I get an “Amen!”?

So, rude Monday, how about you just go away and let me get right back to my weekend?

FFF

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Unlike the camel in the commercials that wanders the office asking what day it is just so he can yell “Hump Day!”, I know what day it is and I am going to yell it too because, dang it, it has been a long short week.

Finally Freaking Friday!

No work on Monday has led to a long-ish feeling week and I am ready for a weekend. So…..

Just leave me alone today.

Please.

Then we all can enjoy a little more Finally Freaking Friday vibes together.

That’s not funny

people at theater

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Generally, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Maybe I am just getting old or something.

I went to a local theater the other night and saw a performance of “The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?” done by Robert Dubac. I like comedy. I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that entertaining. Yeah, I got a few chuckles out of it but there wasn’t really anything that struck the funny bone. Instead, it was just a lot of material that others have done and a lot of cliches repacked and retold in a different format. Kind of disappointing. If I had a comedy meter, if would have gotten two chuckles out of five. Bummer.

Oh, and let me save you some time. I just finished the Ray Romano special on Netflix. It was a snoozer! Good grief. I saw there was a special for him and I liked his TV show, “Everybody Loves Raymond.” So, there was a bit of expectation that he would be funny. Not so much. I watched the first 30 minutes and I don’t think I chuckled once. I turned it off. Imaging me sitting on the couch…not even cracking a smile. So, to be fair, I decided to watch the rest of it on another day. Maybe I was in a bad mood or something. So, I just finished the special and I have to say that on the comedy meter it would be given one chuckle out of five. Really disappointing! I can actually say that I didn’t even laugh until about 42 minutes into the special. That’s a long time to wait for something to crack a smile for. My advice – avoid the special and veg out on something else.

I guess my funny bone is broke. Or maybe I am old. Or maybe it’s both.

Anyone else seen these two things? What did you think?

Just a number

top view photo of ceramic mugs filled with coffees

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Raise your hand if you like coffee. Raise your hand if you have at least two cups of coffee a day. Finally, raise your hand if you have a favorite coffee cup.

Yeah, I thought so. I do too. I like coffee. I have at least two cups of coffee per day. I also have a favorite coffee cup. Well, to be fair, I have a favorite coffee cup at home and also one at work (oh, and include one favorite travel mug as well).

So, I generally use only two coffee cups per day. However, if you are also like me, you probably have a collection of about 63 coffee cups, most of which never get used. Right?

So what’s the deal? Why do people “collect” coffee cups they never (or rarely) use? Moreover, why do people give coffee cups as gifts period? In most cases the giver has to assume the receiver already has a cup they like/use and doesn’t need another cup to clutter up the cupboards. So why give it in the first place? Do you think you are so important that the receiver will give up their favorite cup just for you? Arrogance!

If you go to a coffee shop, you see all the different options there. If you go to a big box store, you see all the options there. If you go to a novelty shop, you see all the options there. Here’s the kicker, if you go to a thrift store you can see the myriad of options there! All those discarded and unwanted coffee cups…

So why do people keep making, selling, buying, and giving them?

What’s your number? How many do you have in the cupboard?

Is that really necessary?

aerial photo of buildings and roads

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Alright, if you are one of these people, I will not be apologizing for my attitude this morning.

If you are one of those people that has to ride on the back bumper, climb inside the tailpipe, or (a more generic term) tailgate – I really don’t like you.

I mean I REALLY don’t like you. You are a straight up jackwagon.

Do you think the world revolves around you? Do you think you are so important that you feel the need to try to push people out of your way? Do you think you are so high and mighty that you would risk causing an accident, or worse – hurting people, just so you can get somewhere faster?

Let’s be real. You aren’t going to push me out of the way. You aren’t going to make me move. You will, in fact, cause me to go slower, especially if there is traffic. Especially if there is traffic!

Maybe that makes me a jerk. Don’t care.

If you can clearly see there are cars next to me and in front of me, I obviously have nowhere to go. So explain to me how exactly riding my ass is going to motivate me to get out of your way? It won’t. Let’s be clear. I will make me more obstinate that I already am.

Listen, people, if you are one of those drivers that just can’t peel yourself off the bumper in front of you – pray you never drive behind me. Your head will pop, and I will smile.

Have a nice day.

Options, so many options

black leather padded cushion couch near to black leather padded cushion loveseat

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When faced with so many options, do you buckle under the pressure and decide not to make a decision?

I am sure you are well aware that when shopping for something there are often so many choices that it becomes difficult to make a decision. Cars. Shoes. TVs. Restaurants. You name it, there are probably more than three options. And then, to top it all off, there are probably options for the options! Say what? Now I have 209 different options to choose from but each of those options comes with another 117 other features to pick from as well? See? It can get overwhelming.

I went furniture shopping over the weekend. The living room needs new furniture. A couch and love seat to be exact. My only specification for said couches was that they had recliners in them (something the current seating does not have). The room is too small to have a single recliner, so they have to be combined into the other seats in the room.

When thinking about shopping for furniture in our little neck of the woods, there are only four places to really go for selection. Yes, there are big box stores but selection is rather limited in the store and shopping online is always an option, but don’t you wanna try something before you buy it? I can’t imagine buying something like a couch without having sat on it first.

Anyway, two of the stores are really the same store. They are in fact two different companies, but one of the store carries the same product as the other store so there really wasn’t an option that was acceptable in either of the first two stores.

Next was the La-Z-Boy store. Good grief it was recliner heaven. And a headache. Find the style you like. Then find the firmness you like. Then find the fabric you like. Then find the recliner function you like. Do you want dark? Do you want light? Do you want puffy? Do you want motorized? Do you want modern? I tell ya, my head was spinning. Oh, did I forget to mention the cost was also adjustable too? Every feature came with an additional cost or reduction based on what you chose. So, trying to decide where my butt was going to be relaxing couldn’t just flat-out be based on the sticker price.

Finally, the last store. Not a lot of options as far as couches with recliners, but the quality of the furniture is awesome. Plus, you could still have some options for the furniture that was on display so you didn’t have to take what was on the floor if you didn’t quite like it.

It was settled right then and there. The (near) perfect couch was right there in that final store. I say near perfect because, well, I am not the only buyer of said couch and there were other specifications that had to be met, mainly it couldn’t look like it belonged in a media room (there go the cup holders, leather, and arm rests…). Compromise would have to be involved here. Anyway, the near perfect couches met almost all specifications with the person that really counted and the pieces had recliners. So, mission accomplished.

Now, if I just didn’t have to compromise the USB ports for charging devices that would have been perfect…

The reminder I needed

architecture automobile avenue buildings

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After two weeks of telecommuting because of weather (and some regularly scheduled days in there too), I am back at the office today.

I can honestly say that I missed my coworkers. While we kept in touch and worked together with the various technology aids we regularly use, it was just not the same as being in the office. There is something to be said for human interaction.

However, the drive to the office this morning reminded me why I like telecommuting so much. People are dumb. Just plain dumb.

So, which do I want to sacrifice? Face to face time with colleagues or stress from the commute? I think you know the answer there.

At least it is Friday and a long weekend.