Guess we’ll starve

abstract art cooking cutlery

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Ok, I know this is a question for the ages and it is as much a mystery as finding a sasquatch…

Why, when you are with a group of people or family, is it so dang hard to decide on a place to go to eat? Why does it have to be an exercise in patience and tolerance, with a side of not murdering someone?

I mean, really? Is it that tough to decide? Everyone put an idea on the table. Is there a common thread to the ideas? Similar location? Wide variety of food options at your idea? Could everyone find something on the menu to satisfy their taste?

Sheesh, people.

My family is the worst. I honestly think it would be better to starve than try to make everyone remotely happy.

“Fine. Stay home and starve. I’m out the door and I’ll eat by myself.”

Enough already, PT 2!

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This is an example of too much to read in less than 2 seconds. The photo is lovely, btw.

So, yesterday I had a little something to say about the “stories” feature on social media that seems to be taking the world by storm, but that some people aren’t telling stories but writing stupid novels with the overwhelming number of pics they post.

To follow up on that, can I just say that the other problem with “stories” is that people also want to put words on these photos. Not just a few words, like a caption for the picture, but like paragraphs…in small fonts…

Hey, if you want to write a paragraph on your photo, do it in the regular photo feed! I don’t know about most people, but I have a feeling I am not alone in that it is near darn impossible to READ a freaking small font paragraph in 1.32 seconds, let along all the links and other crap you include on the photo.

Again, for the love of your views and readers, keep the “stories” simple and short.

Enough already!

There is a disturbing trend going around social media these days and it bothers the heck outta me. I just don’t have all the time in the world for you, nor you me, so let’s keep it to one or two, not the whole story.

Social media has gotten this idea that people want to see a “story” about other people’s lives. Like I have none of my own, so I should see every aspect of someone else’s. So, Facebook and Instagram (yes, they are the same company) have instituted this “story” aspect where people can post multiple photos/videos that are chained together to tell a story. I hadn’t really payed much attention to these “stories” until just before the end of the year and then the end of the year came and I wish I hadn’t started in the first place.

You see, the stories have turned into a place for people to dump all their stupid photos. Instead of just spamming their account with endless photos that people wouldn’t normally see, now they post them all in stories and force everyone to look at them (or at the very least, tap through them). One person I follow posted (guess-timating) 70 photos to sum up their year. I don’t need that kind of crap. I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t have that much interest.

What’s worse, is businesses are using to sell their freaking products and I am just as stuck watching the commercial on this platform as I am on tv, only here I can at least “fast-forward” to some degree. Ugh, I don’t like it.

Social media was supposed to be a WINDOW into your life (no matter how fake it was), not your whole life! Oh, and commercial free too! Let’s get a grip here. If you are going to use “stories”, let’s keep it to one or two, three max. Don’t overwhelm people with your life.

I mean, really, we don’t care that much.

The evil that lurks inside

woman dark eye spooky

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There is evil in the house.

It resides in a place you never thought to look, yet it rears it’s ugly head at the most inopportune time and it strikes fear in all who encounter it. It most often shows itself in red, digital form but has been known by other identifications as well. It squawks. Sometimes it plays music at unimaginable volumes of incoherence.

The evil of which I speak?

The Saturday morning alarm clock.

Why is it that the man-child in the house can’t figure out his damn alarm clock but can figure out how to subvert Netflix security?

The alarm clock has a week day setting so it only goes off on school days, but NO he has it set for every day of the week. So, Saturday morning rolls around and the 6:00am squawking of a high pitched chirp can be heard throughout the house. There is no escaping it and there is no ignoring it, unless you are he who sleeps right next to it.

I swear if I have to stumble out of bed, half asleep, through a dark house to unplug (yes, I didn’t even bother with switches and nobs) the thing, again, I am going to blow a gasket. I mean like really.

Wait, maybe I’ll self impose the dog house. There are no alarms in there…

 

I’ll stalk you for power

close up photo ofg light bulb

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That’s right, I’m watching. All the time.

I am just waiting for you to make a move. A move out of the room you are in to another room. I am waiting for you to fail at something you have been instructed hundreds of times, at varying volume levels, to do and yet still forget to do.

Again, I am one of those dads…

If you leave the room and leave the light on, you better dang well know I will be right there within minutes to make sure you know you left the light on. TURN OFF THE LIGHT!

I am not Tom Bodett, and I will NOT be leaving the light on for you (in case you didn’t get that reference).

Why is it so hard to remember? Why can’t you turn off the light when you leave the room and turn it back on when you come back in? Why do I have to be the power police?

Perhaps I will install motion detecting light fixtures and remove all the light switches…Oh, then that might actually have to make the teens get up and move once in a while. I might be on to something here…

Anyway, can we just do one thing today? Turn off the lights.

Who else has to deal with this, every. single. day.?

Slow fast food

mcdonald store at nigh time

Photo by Mikechie Esparagoza on Pexels.com

I know we have gotten rather spoiled these days in society and the modern comforts we often take for granted only seem to make us appreciate less and less. There is no lack of gratefulness these days.

BUT, I gotta tell ya, there is nothing more frustrating than slow “fast” food.

Time is short. You have a schedule to keep. You’re a mover and a shaker and you gotta get stuff done. People to see, places to be.

So you stop at a “fast” food restaurant thinking you can get in and out in less the 7 minutes and you can still maintain your fast paced agenda.

Screeching halt. 13 minutes later. 22 minutes later. Doesn’t matter how long really, as long as it isn’t “fast” it gets frustrating fast. You can feel your anxiety rising and you start “chomping at the bit”.

As an example just this morning even, I was running a little behind and there was no coffee ready at home. I stopped at a place where the golden arches beckon (don’t judge the coffee, it is passable) in hopes that I could get in and out quickly. Seven minutes from ordering, I am still waiting…for coffee. This, waiting at a place where the literally push a button after the put the cup under the spigot because the coffee is made in one of those dispenser things. That is not fast.

So, fast food. Not.

Anyone else frustrated in/with places like this?

Get the flush out

male and female signage on wall

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This probably falls into the TMI category, but it is no less irritating either way.

Have you ever walked into a public bathroom to use the facilities, open the stall door, and find that the crapper has already been crapped in but the final flush failed (whether they didn’t do it themselves or it plugged) to get done? So you end up turning up your nose, maybe curse under your breath a little, and then move on to the next stall? Yeah, me too.

Now, get this. While that previous scenario is frustrating, what’s worse is to find a toilet in your own home in a similar condition…open the lid to sit down and SURPRISE! Now you have to risk flushing and hope that the swirling water stays in the bowl and doesn’t end up on the floor making an even more inconvenient event.

I tell you, I am pretty sure teens have brain damage.

Perhaps we should do like some suggest with animals that pee or poop in the house, rub their face in it. Maybe it we rubbed the teen’s face in it they would get the picture? Yeah, you’re right. The brain damage is too significant. They likely wouldn’t get the picture.

Here goes nothing…

#SMH