Month: March 2023

Unnecessary apology #5

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Kinda late with this one today, but I was busy…

Once again I am here to humbly ask your forgiveness. Once again I am sure I have offended and disappointed someone out there, so let me issue this unnecessary apology just so I can cover all my bases in all instances from now until the end of time.

I bathed. Yes, I took a bath. It was a full bath tub and I actually enjoyed it.

Sorry if that makes you mad. Sorry if that makes me “less manly” or “more feminine.”

I didn’t take it to get clean. I took it to relax. I took it because it was time to be alone and in the quiet. Call it “self-care,” whatever the heck that is.

But, here’s the thing, and I am sure there is the part that will really rile some environmentalist or climate change activest’s feathers…

…the bath tub was FULL! And, it was full with HOT water!

Like, I put as much hot water in there as possible without making it spill over the edge as I lowered my body in.

What a waste, right? Too much water and too much energy was used. I am such a bad, horrible, irresponsible person.

I am sure there are poor thirsty people somewhere in the world where I could have sent all that water. Probably some farm or garden or some dried up lake/stream that supports a lower life form that could have used that water.

What’s that you say? Oh, sorry, I had my head underwater. I couldn’t hear your protests…

Not sorry, sorry.

Unnecessary apology #4

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Simon Berger on Pexels.com

It was the 80s. What can I say? We all did things back then that we probably look back and cringe with disdain. 1986 was the transistion year between middle school and high school. It was awkward. Despite being fitting for the time, I look back at my former self and realize now that if I judge myself through the current “progressive” lens (even though I am not) that I really should be ashamed of myself. So, today’s unnecessary apology goes out to…

Egyptians.

Yes, Egyptians.

Why? Well, if you knew then what you know now, then today that the little dance you did in your bedroom or lockeroom or living room or bar would be prohibited. Why? Because of some kind of appropriation. I am not sure if it would be cultural or national or something else, but it is just so regretable now.

I am guilty. I am guilty of walking like an Egyptian.

Therefore, though I am not sure I really need to, I want to apologize to all the Egyptians (past, present, and into perpetuity) for doing this silly act.

I was young. I was impressionable.

I blame it on the Bangles. Their “Walk like an Egyptian” song is totally at fault. It was just such a catchy little tune. And, hey, if my silly and awkward movements might have caught Susanna Hoff’s attention somehow, well, that would have been just awesome.

So, yeah, sorry about that, Egyptians.

Just try not to get your groove (and appropriation) on when listening…

Unnecessary apology #3

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Chris Carter on Pexels.com

You don’t have to admit it, but I know you have done this one too, especially if you have your own children. I’ll admit it for you. Today’s apology goes out to all primates because it’s probably not fair or cool or proper or appropriate or politically correct of us humans to imitate your eating of a banana (or at least what we think you might look like when eating a banana).

It all started that one day, way back when my daughter was just a wee one and she was finally able to eat semi-solid food. Of course, one of the softer foods to serve a wee one is a banana.

So, as she was strapped into the high chair and I was doing the thing from Unnecessary apology #2, I was prepping for my primate impersonation….

…Assume the posture, make primate noises and sounds, imitate primate mobility, make primate faces, consume banana in the primate way…

All for the entertainment of a wee one. Smiles, giggles, and claps ensue from the wee one.

Goal achieved.

Except, now thinking back, it was wholey inappropriate of me to assume that I could or should take on primate charateristics. How rude and insensitive of me. I am sure they (the primates) would be offended had they seen me.

Apology served.

Unnecessary apology #2

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Luana Freitas on Pexels.com

I don’t know if there is a term for this, but I probably have to apologize to someone, somewhere for it. Maybe the apology is owed to the young for being patronizing or maybe it is to the older folks for stooping so low as to “not act my age.”

So, today, I apologize to whomever needs to hear it – young or old.

I am sorry for talking like a baby (or very small child) to a baby.

Again, I have to admit it, but it comes as a rather natural reaction to revert back to this way of communication when someone small is involved. I just can’t help myself. The “goo-goo, ga-ga’s” just kind of fall out of my head. Is baby talk natural? It must be because we all tend to do it…and I don’t even really like babies all that much.

I find that I hate myself a little more after having regressed back to infantile language skills, but for whatever reason it seems to work in my meager attempt at communication to elicit a smile from the newly present humans.

So, please, small human, accept this unnecessary apology.

Unnecessary apology #1

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I’m sorry. I did it inadvertently. It was just a knee-jerk reaction.

During this month of honoring women, I want to apologize to all women.

I have been or am guilty of gender appropriation.

You see, when I have climbed under the house to access a dark, dank, and mildy creepy crawl space I have at times “screamed like a woman.”

I know, I know. I am not proud of it.

I shouldn’t do it because I am a man and things like this shouldn’t faze me.

To be honest, spiders don’t really freak me out. BUT, in the context of being in a dark, confined space and feeling the creepy crawlies on the back of your neck or by your ear, well, that is just going to get a reaction most guys aren’t proud of.

Please, accept by sincerest apologies for oppressing you by appropriating your screams.

I’ll do better.

**There will be more posts in a new series I am going to call, Unnecessary Apology. Keep an eye out for them and let me know if you agree or not.**

CD situation

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by 500photos.com on Pexels.com

CD. Compact Disc.

Do you remember those things called CDs? Remember when that was the next best technology and you were buying hundreds of those things? Remember when storage of those things became an issue?

Recently I was reminded of all those things…because I was cleaning out the entertainment cabinet and I had to remove FIVE folders that are capable of holding 100 discs at a time. All but one is full and the last one is 3/4s full.

Those folders hold all the discs I ever bought, plus the CD case art (from and back). Once upon a time it was difficult to store all those cases and moving them to the folders seemed like a great idea. Plus, those CD jewel cases were brittle as heck too, as soon as you dropped one it was inevitably broken and didn’t work correctly.

Well, now what the heck am I supposed too do with all those CDs?

Disc drives on computers are getting harder and hard to come by. Shoot, even cars don’t even really come with CD players any more. Converting them to digital takes time and storage (though I had already gone through every disc I had at one point and pulled all the songs off the discs I really wanted). So, now I am stuck…do I just trash them or do I donate them? Do I try to sell them?

UGH

There is a ton of money locked up in those and throwing them away seems like a waste since I purchased all the music, even if I don’t listen to it (well, all of it). Do you know what I mean? If I were to get rid of them, it feels like something would be lost but at the same time nothing would be.

What would you do?

Random application

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels.com

Not really looking, but I am at the same time. Something happened the other day that kind of surprised me, about myself, and I have thought about it ever since.

As a little background, just over two years ago I was thinking I might lose my job. The organization I work for was being mandated by the state to require it’s employees get a poke in the arm for “immunization,” of…well, you know…. I was thinking I might lose my job because I was going to have to go through the process of basically applying for an exemption and there was some question about whether it would be granted since the process was set up to work against employees who claimed it. In the process of getting ready to lose my job, I started accounts at several online job search sites – LinkedIn and Indeed. After getting all that set up and getting alerts for job notifications set up I was granted my exemption and I have continues to work at my current place of employment.

But, in the meantime, I am still getting alerts about potential job opportunities because loyalty to employees really no longer exists in most cases so if the right opportunity came along, why not jump ship for something better? It’s a tad scary, the thought of starting over so I haven’t really payed much attention to the alerts I was getting. Well, until the other day…

I got a job notification that kinda stuck out. Basically, it would be doing the same thing I am doing but for a REALLY large company. I would be product support for customers, providing troubleshooting and documentation and creating self-help information at Netflix.

Now, I probably wouldn’t have even considered applying except that LinkedIn made it so easy. “Click this button to apply” was basically the instructions. So I did. After literally 10 clicks to verify my info, provide just a tiny bit more, and upload my resume I had applied for the job. It was so easy!

I have no illusion that I’ll get hired, or even an interview. But what surprised me was the easy for submitting an application.

Additionally, I was surprised that I even submitted one in the first place.

I am not really looking, as I said previously, but the thought of a job that would allow me to work fully remotely, for at least as much pay as I am currently receiving, was definitely attractive. And it only takes a few (or more) clickes? What is there to lose at that point?

Anyone else surprise themselves applying for a job they weren’t really looking for?

Hide forever

Posted on by backuphill

Photo by Wallace Chuck on Pexels.com

Anyone else having a hard time getting that ad for fiverr and logo creation on their My Home page to go away?

I have clicked the drop down to “Hide Forever” like 100 times and all that happens is that the spinny thing comes up and just spins and spins. The next time I go to the page, it’s still there and I try again.

It’s almost as if they don’t want you to be able to make it go away…

Bathroom hider

Posted on by backuphill

I have a co-worker who I have now determined to be a bathroom hider.

He isn’t a directly associated co-worker. He is in the same organization but on another team and I don’t work with him directly.

Anyway, I have noticed a trend with this guy. He goes to the bathroom on a pretty regular basis, like at least twice an hour (know this because he walks righ past my cube). When I have had occasion to enter the bathroom I have noticed he is parked in the farthest stall in the room (I know it’s him because of his rather distinctive shoes). The unusual thing about his bathroom visits is that he is quite obviously going in there to watch videos (no, not that kind…). I have heard them echoing throughout the space from outside the door but as soon as you open the door he silences what he is watching. After you have left the room, he unmutes again.

His bathroom visits last somewhere 10-15 minutes (think of that as between 20 and 30 minutes of lost productivity per hour).

I hope you aren’t thinking I am a creeper…I am not. I just notice things. I notice things that most people probably don’t. Details. I just happen to notice this stuff because he literally makes a trek past my cube at least four times per hour. But I am probably not the only one. I’ll bet his co-workers (people actually on his team) have noticed his afrequent absences too; however they may not know what he is doing during that time or where he is going.

So, just curious, do you have a person or people like this at your place of employment? Do you have a bathroom hider? A beverage hanger (someone who hangs out at the watercool or coffee pot to shoot the breeze)? A visiting ducker (a social butterfly who visits every cube/office to chat to avoid actual work)?

Yes, I made those all up. Got a better name for them?