Holiday decor

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Call me Scrooge. Call me The Grinch. Call me grumpy. Call me whatever.

I hate holiday decor. Like, seriously.

If it were up to me, there would be very little done in the way of decorating for the holidays. It would be simple and wouldn’t take hours to set up, or tear down. It would be quick and easy and not require the rearranging of the entire house.

It would also not involve Christmas lights hung on the house. Talk about a waste of energy (literally and figuratively)!

No one enjoys putting the damn things up. No one relishes the idea of climbing a ladder over and over again. No one loves the idea of climbing around on the roof of the house with impending disaster just one slip away. No one likes untangling lights, running extention cords, replacing light bulbs, or being in the cold for long periods of time while putting them up and taking them down.

What a stupid tradition. Really. Who came up with this idea? Never mind that. I don’t really care.

I have the day off today. Guess what I have been tasked with? If you need me I’ll be outside, climbing ladders, dangling over the edge of the eaves, and cursing my existence for the next several hours.

Bah-humbug, I say!

Thanksgiving and sex

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Got your attention? Keep reading, this is gonna be good.

Is fear going to keep you from doing the things you want, seeing the people you want, celebrating the way you want?

The governor has, in all his infinite wisdom (*hack, cough, hack*) along with his fear-mongering lackeys, has advised that you keep your Thanksgiving celebration small. As in, your immediate household. And, if you should gather with more people, it can’t be more than 10 and it should be outdoors.

WTF? We live in the Northwest, land of the ever falling rain and it isn’t exactly tropical temps up here. Yeah, like people are gonna do that…and if you’re afraid, then do it.

But, I say we treat Thanksgiving like we do sex.

Sex is between consenting adults, (typically) behind closed doors or inside the walls of your residence. It’s nobody’s business but theirs, right? People usually take the precautions they think necessary when engaging in such activities and they have a good time doing it. If we are to ignore what goes on behind closed doors because it is the right and choice of consenting adults (even if it is a group, if that’s your thing…) then people can’t say anything about it.

As such, Thanksgiving this year should be treated just like sex.

Yes, it’s a group activity, but all the adults (and their minions) present have consented and acknowledged the risk of gathering behind closed doors. What happens with a turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, and whatever other foods you like is nobody’s business but your own. How many people you have together is nobody’s business but your own. How much alcohol you have to consume to be able to stand your crazy uncle, or your in-laws, or the political conversations that will inevitably start, is nobody’s business but yours. If you take precautions to protect yourselves, or others, that’s nobody’s business but your own. The point is, you get to choose, not the government.

So, celebrate. Give thanks and be thankful.

**I will not post tomorrow as I will be gathering against the advice of the government and trying to endure the people who will invade space, my peace, and my quiet for an undetermined amount of time. Happy Thanksgiving to all!**

Spinning

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Feeling a little dizzy today. Not sure what is going on.

Maybe I haven’t had enough water.

Maybe I have had too much screen time.

Maybe I just need more rest.

I haven’t been feeling bad, so this is a little outta the blue. Felt fine yesterday, though I didnt’ post anything (did you miss me?). Had a decent weekend and don’t feel any different that usual, except for the slight dizziness.

Perhaps a I need a little something in the stomach…though I honestly could stand to lock the fridge and cabinets for a week or five. Wouldn’t hurt me to wire the jaw shut, if you know what I mean.

So, I sit here working and wonder if the words on the screen will go back in order (albeit, briefly) so I can read them and help the next client.

Anyone else found themselves on a perpetual merry-go-round lately?

For the love

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of spam.

No, not the meaty and gooey pork product, though I do love me some of that stuff fried and then put into a grilled cheese sammich! But, I digress. Distracted by food. That’s easy to do…

Anyway, I have had an increase in followers the last week or two. While it is nice to see that number go up, it’s kind of irritating to know that a large number of those are just really spam accounts. They aren’t real followers. Just garbage producers of crappy, repetitive, and unhelpful marketing advice and products. Oh, and throw in the motivational and weird stuff too. You would think that WordPress would have a way of detecting and eliminating this garbage.

Someone once said there was a way to limit this (I think it was something about requiring an email address, but I can’t remember for sure), but at the time I didn’t want to do it because I wanted to give the best, most wide-open access possible. Maybe that is a bad idea, maybe not.

Anyway, rather than going that direct, I thought I would try an experiment. Wanna help with the social media test, an unofficial survey of sorts? It’s gonna require that you do something…

If you are a real follower and actually read the blog, leave a comment – a very specific comment – “Not spam.”

Seriously, I wanna see if this works. I may use this to weed out the followers who aren’t really following. So, if you wanna stay in the know, DO IT!

One thought

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Do you ever have one thing, one thought, that you fixate on all day and can’t get your mind of it? Like, you can do other things all day long, but no matter what happens everything still comes back to that one thought?

Maybe this is something that is easier for men. Maybe men have this happen because we really only can “be in one box” at a time while women have brains that look like a big ball of tangled and twisted Christmas lights (they go every which way but still light up!).

Anyway, I have one thought today.

I seriously can’t get it out of my mind and I am trying to figure out which way is the best way to approach it. I mean, I have to have it. I have to wait till work is over, but I am really excited for this evening as this one thought will obviously get fulfilled.

When I think about it so many questions fire off in my head. Do I get the way I want it, or do I let someone else decided how it will be done? Do I order it or do I use what I have at home? Do I enjoy it alone or do I share the enjoyment with someone else? Do I add a little something to spice it up or keep it kind of plain and traditional? Do I want it thick or thin? Go a little extra or just sit back and take it as it comes?

Man, I can’t wait to get pizza tonight.

Stalked

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Should I be worried? I have a feeling like I am being stalked…

Thanks for the clicks.

Someone is going back and reading my old blog posts, on both blogs. I have no idea who it is because they don’t leave a comment or a like. I even got a Facebook referral yesterday, and I haven’t had the original account connected to Facebook in more than a several years (I have no idea what the referral was for since apparently we don’t get so see how those clicks translate to traffic) and the newest blog (now four years old) has never been connected.

So, who is stalking me? Who is going WAY BACK in the archives and reading the old stuff? Who, or whom, is doing this?

Show yourself. Come out of the shadows. Reveal thyself and stop stalking me. At the very least, show me some love with a like, share, or comment. Sheesh.

Or, not. Whatever. If you find stuff so interesting, share it. Pass it around. Maybe others would find it interesting too.

Paranoia

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I went to Costco this last Sunday. It was a regular trip for me. Nothing of immediate need and I was actually going to do some research on a possible big purchase.

It just so happens that this was also the day the moron of a governor was announcing his new mandates for the next foreseeable future. Those mandates would go into effect the following day, or the day after. Lockdown Part Deux.

Anyway, it seems others who were visiting Costco that day were simply there to buy toilet paper and paper towels again. REALLY? Gosh you people are stupid. Panic buying.

Oh, and the panic was on the outside of the building too. The line, in the wind and rain, to get into the fricking place was the entire length of the building. Also, the sheep were wearing their masks while standing outside in the wind and at least six feet apart.

Apparently the fear is so great or they have now been so conditioned to wear the mask that they don’t even mind wearing it outside in the fresh air! Gosh you people are stupid.

Well, I was the only person in line that I could see that wasn’t complying with the mask thing. I stood there, with my mask off, will I got right up to the door. Yes, I will wear it inside (though I don’t really like it) to help others and also help businesses stay open. I am not going to intentionally get people in trouble (well, at least not yet…).

I just couldn’t believe all the stupidity on display. Actually, I guess nothing really surprises me. No, actually, there are still things that surprise me. I guess this was one of them.

How quickly people let the paranoia set in and control the.

Here we go again…

Dear Washingtonians and businesses,

As your governor, I have done my best to ruin you and your lives this year (and, quite frankly, hopefully an hope of a financial future for you too). I have been successful in many aspects, as I have seen thousands of you just up and quit under my rule and rules. Quit your business, quit school, quit life, quit everything.

I am now instating a second, financially destructive lockdown. If you barely survived that last one, congratulations. I was hoping you wouldn’t, but your resilience and perseverance are admirable. I underestimated you, your supporters, and those of you who would dare to question me. I won’t let you succeed and survive this time.

Really, we don’t need the mom and pop shops and restaurants and such. We need big businesses to be more successful so I can tax them and require them to pay higher wages. I am trying so hard to make more people dependent on the state by covering the gaps that I haven’t forced you to cover yet. Financial recovery and actually letting Covid run it’s natural course like the flu isn’t acceptable. Hopefully this is the final and proverbial “last nail in the coffin” for you.

I’ll let you know in three weeks that I am extending the lockdown, just before the new current four weeks is about to expire, for no good reason other than there are lots of sheep who will follow my every word.

Listen, I have won re-election by catering to the extremely liberal, and Socialistic voter base in three counties. I really don’t have to beat around the bush now and pretend that I care about you, because I don’t. This is what’s best for my agenda and that of the Socialist/Communist movement.

Your unquestioning compliance is appreciated.

With my sincerest, insincere vocal tone and look,

Jay Inslee

WA Governor

Pooped

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Maybe this falls into the TMI category, maybe it doesn’t. I am sure the male readers in the group can probably attest to something of a similar experience, and if nothing else it might provide for a little comedic reading.

So, I am an early morning pooper.

I really prefer to get to my squatting done before my shower. I mean, that way I can head into the day with a freshly clean keister and don’t have to worry about unintentional stankiness (at least for the first part of the day).

So, typically the day begins after crawling outta bed with a squat on the porcelain throne. The amount of time can vary, but usually the business is done in 15-20 minutes and then I can proceed to the shower.

Today, I spent my usual time on the commode and then proceeded to hop into the shower. Not 10 minutes later, I am getting the painful feeling that I need to cop-a-squat again. Now I am feeling those gaseous pains and squeezing the cheeks together hoping that I am not gonna drop a package in the shower. Thankfully, it subsided briefly and I was able to finish my shower.

After getting outta the shower, no pressing feeling to visit the “thinking throne” is persisting so I am thinking I am gonna be able to start the day as usual. I get dressed and make coffee.

HELLO! I am reminded that the gas has not passed and either I am gonna have to do the penguin waddle to the water closet or find something to lean up against and endure the sharp pain in the middle region again. I wait because no waddle will happen without an accident. After the gurgling stops and the pain is tempered, I quickly head for the pooper.

Wait…the gas pains have returned, literally just before the pants come down and I am left staring at the crapper whilst I grimace through the next wave of internal chaos. WTH! Literally a foot from the squatter and I can’t use it….yet…

I am not sure why decided to turn my bowels into a problematic mess that required multiple visits to the porcelain bowl. Either way, that last trip seemed to do the trick. The main tank has been completely emptied.

I still would have liked to done it the first time and not had to put on pants feeling “unclean.”

There ya go! A little Friday the 13th potty humor/giggle/TMI for you.

Anyone else have similar experiences or habits?

Resolved

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Final episode of the whole Comcast/xFinity saga (at least until the next issue comes up…). If you are curious as the to what led up to this, you will have to take a look at Thieving and Ongoing Saga. Those will get you caught up.

So, yesterday, I was back on the phone with Comcast for over 45 minutes, again. I called and after running through the whole saga with yet another customer service representative, and him reading over all the previous notes left by all the various other people I have talked to throughout this ordeal, he finally messaged the payment services division.

He has to use use their internal messaging service to make contact so it took about 20 minutes to get a response back from this division. Once they responded back, they had to do their research based on the reference number I had been given. They finally sent a message back that the person who had been assigned the case wasn’t in the office but would get back to me in the next 24-48 hours.

So, after all of that, I am left with, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”

$#%@&!

My skepticism was at an all time high.

Lo and behold, 10 minutes after I get off the phone, I get a phone call from the guy supposedly researching the issue. He apologized three times for not getting back to me sooner since he had indeed received everything he needed last Friday when I emailed the documents in. BUT, they still couldn’t locate the payment as yet and he was still doing research. He would call me back when he knew more. I also asked if I could get a credit applied to my account because of all the time and trouble this has caused and it was an error on their part since it has been paid the same way for years. He said, no, he couldn’t do that and they weren’t sure why it had happened.

If I could have reached through the phone, I likely would have punched him. But, I was trying to be nice, not really expecting a response, so I thanked him and asked if there was a number I could reach him directly at. He actually gave me a number and extension. I was surprised, but hung up thinking I wouldn’t hear from him for another week.

15 minutes later, he calls back and said they had located the payment and that it got applied in a different division (whatever the F to the uck that means) and that it would be transferred and applied to my account within the next 24-48 hours.

20 minutes later he called back and left a message that it was now applied to my account and that would resolve the issue. No “Thanks for your patience” or “We’re sorry, here’s some credit…” or anything.

Honestly, I want groveling. I want profuse and profound sucking up to keep my business.

But we all know, especially them, that they have us over a barrel.

Anyway, I logged in this morning and the payment has been applied to my account. Case closed. I hope.

We’ll see how the payment goes this month, with I just schedule yesterday.