Domestic

beer filled mug on table

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

OK, this is gonna be a rant for those of you who like to indulge in the consumption of an alcoholic beverage called “beer.” If you aren’t one of those people, I guess you can stop reading now (or not even click on the post – it’s fine, whatever…).

I hate to sound like a beer snob here, because I really am not one. BUT, (yes, there’s always a “but” in statements like that) you really don’t have to be a beer snob to understand what I am about to say.

How have domestic brewers stayed in business for so long? Like, really?

While I haven’t consumed piss water, I am pretty sure that is what it would taste like. Domestic beer is weak, it’s nearly clear, and it’s cheap (unless, of course, you are forced to buy it at a sports stadium like I was).

I can’t remember which stadium I was at in Arizona when I was surprised that there were no choices of micro-brewed beer. The other stadiums had them, so what was the deal with this one? Anyway, I was forced to buy something domestic (ok, forced may be a little strong since I could have kept my wallet in my pocket) to go along with my overpriced stadium food.

The experience was not enjoyable. I didn’t like the beer. Water. With a little food coloring in it. Pretty sure that is all it was. And, to top it off, if was $11. WTH?

So, anyone else out there baffled by domestic piss water beer? Anyone care to defend it?

Magical calories

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You know, math is hard. I really think very few people like it. I suspect many of my readers are probably in the same boat as I am when it comes to math. You’d just rather not do it. Sometimes, I just don’t get it. This, however, seems to be simple math and since I am no math prodigy I think I can handle it.

The label on this bottle of carbonated and flavored water is a mathematical mind-bender. Or, perhaps someone just doesn’t have any labeling sense. Or, maybe, they’re just magical calories!

There are three servings in the 36 oz. bottle (12 oz. per serving). According to the way I read this, if you drink one serving at a time, there are ZERO calories. However, if you drink the bottle all at once (or over time?) you will get a whopping 15 calories . Duly noted. Don’t consume the entire bottle. Ever. You will avoid all calories if you leave one ounce in the bottle.

But wait!! There is something funny going on here. It just doesn’t add up. If there are three servings for a total of 15 calories, how does the math break down to ZERO calories per serving? Wouldn’t that be 5 calories per serving?

Anyone else confused by this math?

Do I really want an answer? NO! How about we just apply those magical calories to pizza? I am thinking, ZERO calories per slice and only 80 calories if you eat the whole thing. That would be satisfying.


Have you ever run into a dieting math problem that didn’t make sense?