joy

Partied out

Posted on by backuphill

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It was a long weekend that started on Thursday night.

It was a weekend filled with food, celebration, and family.

Too much family.

Too much planning.

Too much to do to actually enjoy it.

Anyway, three birthday parties in two days…one on Saturday and two on Sunday.

All at my house.

It was a good time, but it was exhausting.

What’s worse is that there is always some family members that are there that you just rather wouldn’t be there. That’s harsh to say, I know, and I love them and all but they just make anything and everything more work.

Everyone had a good time. At least I think so.

I did and I didn’t.

At least it is over. I am partied out. I could care less if there are any more this year.

Broken button

Posted on by backuphill

yellow and red stop button

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It’s broke. The thing works intermittently so I know it’s there, but today it isn’t working.

My excitement button is broken.

I haven’t the energy to get excited about anything. It’s been this way for a while, but today I realized that it wasn’t something I consciously was aware of. As I look back over that last several weeks, I now see that it’s been broken for a while. I am not sure when it broke. It just is.

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where good things are happening but you just don’t feel any joy around them? Have you ever had a time where life felt like things had evened out but experiences or things just didn’t generate a response like excitement? It’s a weird feeling to think about the things in past that got me excited only to have them happen now and it feels like no big deal.

Am I too tired? Am I too apathetic? Am I too calloused? I am not sure.

Where is the joy? How do I get it back?

 

Do you have joy? Excitement? What get’s your juices flowing and give you joy or excitement? Drop it in the comments!

Happy New Year, blah blah blah

Posted on by backuphill

blur bokeh bright burnt

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The new year has begun and for some reason everyone is back to being cheerful again.

I don’t get it.

Did they get a reset button somewhere that magically made their lives better over night? Did they get a reset that changed the daily reality? Or, did they see into the future and have no problems? Me thinks not.

So why all the cheer? What makes today different than any other day?

Happy New Year, blah blah blah.

Unwrapping the aftermath

Posted on by backuphill

assorted color gift boxes

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Well, folks, the stockings are down and the presents opened. It was chaos from the start and there is a ton to do now that all are gone.

Not sure about your family, but mine appears to just swoop in to open presents and consume food before jetting off to other places and people to visit, which leaves a tornado of debris scattered about the house and hours of cleaning after the fact. That isn’t to say that there weren’t also hours of prep before everyone even showed up…so when taken all into account there were probably four times as many hours preparing for and cleaning after than there was actual time spent with family.

Don’t get me wrong, time spent with family was great and the joy did finally come as the smiles and laughter filled the room. It did finally come. BUT, it was soon lost in the time spend cleaning floors, dishes, the fridge, taking out the extra 100 pounds of garbage, and putting the furniture back where it belongs.

Does anyone else have that feeling after Christmas where the “What did we just do?” dread of having to put life back to normal appears that it will take an inordinate amount of time? Like maybe you’re the only one that will be working into the wee hours of the night just so there will be some resemblance of normalcy the day after?

The Grinch

Posted on by backuphill

I’ll just sit over here and try not to ruin anyone else’s Christmas…

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From the greatest joy thief of all, Merry Christmas.

Oh, and maybe his heart did grow two sizes after all.

Bah humbug

Posted on by backuphill

crime scene do not cross signage

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The eve of Christmas has come and I am not sure how I feel about it this year. I seem to have gotten a case of the “Bah Humbug”s and the joy of the season (though I know the Reason) just hasn’t come through yet for me.

I am beginning to wonder if it even will.

This year, more than any in the past, just seems lost. There is no joy in receiving, we all know that. But this year there also seems to be no joy in giving either. I feel as though the just isn’t joy in anything.

Perhaps I have been to busy to notice. Perhaps I have been just going through the motions. Perhaps I just don’t care enough. Or maybe I care too much, because the stresses of life are all getting in the way.

So today I will go through the motions, in the hopes that it generates something inside, of wishing you a Merry Christmas Eve.

Consider yourself wished.