A case of the drops

close up photography of people picking nachos chips

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No, that isn’t some sort of new disease and it isn’t some kind of euphemism for diarrhea. I am not even referring to what football receivers get once in a while in their careers. In this case it refers to a really annoying occurrence of dining out.

I am sure you have experienced it at one time or another, but it’s what I like to call the times when food just can’t seem to make it to my mouth (or I miss it all together) and it ends up down the front of me…on my shirt, my jacket, my tie, my pants…”the drops.”

I can hear you yelling now, “Oh, man! I hate that!”

Last night I visited a local establishment just because I could and because I wanted to. Maybe my motivations were bad and I ended up paying the angry food gods because the case of the drops started almost immediately.

Chips and salsa, meet shirt and pants.

Chips, meet shirt.

Sour cream, meet shirt.

Guacamole, meet shirt and pants.

I swear, it has never been that bad before. Maybe I just wasn’t leaning over my plate enough. Maybe I just got really weak chips for dipping. Maybe the gods are angry with me for wanting nachos. Who knows!?! All I know is that my food spent as much time on my fork or in my fingers as it did on my clothing.

Good grief. Maybe I shouldn’t be allowed in public. Do you suppose they deliver nachos? That way I can just eat naked in the shower and hose myself off when I am done (sorry for that picture).


Got any messy food stories? What’s the best (and by best, I mean worst) instance of the drops have you had?

Wardrobe tragedy

photo of man tossing nescafe mug

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There is nothing worse than getting dressed up only to have a wardrobe tragedy occur without warning, and there rarely ever occur with warning so they are always a tragedy.

Raise your hand if you have ever: dropped food on your shirt/blouse? Dropped food on your pants/dress/skirt/shorts? Dropped food on your tie? Missed both your top AND bottom only to have it land on your shoe? Had it happen to your favorite outfit?

Dang it already…guess I’ll just throw this attire away and start over tomorrow.

 

**This post is NOT sponsored by Nescafe, but if it wants to I would completely open to large amounts of money.

Seriously, guys, why so slobbish?

white ceramic male toilet

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I am going to go out on a generalization limb here…guys are freaking slobs (moan).

I know, there is something weird about me saying that since I am one but I don’t think I am a slob and I think my wife would agree if you asked her. I pick up after myself. I put stuff away, where I found it. I clean. Maybe, I am the oddity?

Anyway, my place of employment shares a building with another organization and I can safely say that the guys in the other organization are freaking slobs. I can safely say that because my company only has three males at this location and two of them are on vacation – leaving me as the only guy in the building that doesn’t belong to the people upstairs.

That being said, guys, if you can’t aim that “waste disposal tube” at the urinal and get every drop in there – then sit the hell down! Why do guys have such a hard time with this? At work, at the ballpark, at a restaurant, in a Honeybucket, you name it and there is likely piss all over the place…the edge of the urinal, the wall, the floor…every. freaking.where. Seriously? Get a grip, and I mean that quite literally.

black and white vanity top with stainless steel faucet

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So you move from one gross mess to the next. After leaving the “splash-o-rama urinal,” you turn around to wash your hands and it looks like a baby elephant just took a freaking bath in the sink. There is water everywhere and its puddled up all over the counter! #WTH  Did any water actually make it back in the sink? Good grief people! Clean up after yourselves.

Seriously, you guys are gross.

*Pictures are not from my actual building because that would be gross, and why would I make you guys put up with that too?*