Thanksgiving and sex

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Got your attention? Keep reading, this is gonna be good.

Is fear going to keep you from doing the things you want, seeing the people you want, celebrating the way you want?

The governor has, in all his infinite wisdom (*hack, cough, hack*) along with his fear-mongering lackeys, has advised that you keep your Thanksgiving celebration small. As in, your immediate household. And, if you should gather with more people, it can’t be more than 10 and it should be outdoors.

WTF? We live in the Northwest, land of the ever falling rain and it isn’t exactly tropical temps up here. Yeah, like people are gonna do that…and if you’re afraid, then do it.

But, I say we treat Thanksgiving like we do sex.

Sex is between consenting adults, (typically) behind closed doors or inside the walls of your residence. It’s nobody’s business but theirs, right? People usually take the precautions they think necessary when engaging in such activities and they have a good time doing it. If we are to ignore what goes on behind closed doors because it is the right and choice of consenting adults (even if it is a group, if that’s your thing…) then people can’t say anything about it.

As such, Thanksgiving this year should be treated just like sex.

Yes, it’s a group activity, but all the adults (and their minions) present have consented and acknowledged the risk of gathering behind closed doors. What happens with a turkey, mashed potatoes, yams, cranberry sauce, and whatever other foods you like is nobody’s business but your own. How many people you have together is nobody’s business but your own. How much alcohol you have to consume to be able to stand your crazy uncle, or your in-laws, or the political conversations that will inevitably start, is nobody’s business but yours. If you take precautions to protect yourselves, or others, that’s nobody’s business but your own. The point is, you get to choose, not the government.

So, celebrate. Give thanks and be thankful.

**I will not post tomorrow as I will be gathering against the advice of the government and trying to endure the people who will invade space, my peace, and my quiet for an undetermined amount of time. Happy Thanksgiving to all!**

Dear Readers

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My Dear Readers,

As I pause a moment to give thanks for all that I have been given (I have not visited my computer this morning), I have to remember you.

It is because of you that we have created a little community where I have a voice to complain about things in my life, life in general, things in your lives, society, people, culture, smart and stupid people, and the list goes on…etc., etc., etc.

Essentially, you have allowed me to be your voice and in turn it has given me a voice too. I can’t always express the way I feel or think to the people who occupy my everyday life, so this has been an outlet for my frustration (and dare I say, anger?)

Some of what we talk about around here is for real and some of it is just for fun. Either way, it gives me something new to do each day in the hopes of entertaining you…or giving you something to ponder…or maybe giving you a silent fist bump knowing someone out there feels a little like you do.

So, I humbly say thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

With gratitude,

The Chief Grump

Food Coma, part deux

As if one day of belly busting isn’t enough, we have two.

What’s worse? They are only 18 hours apart, so I will be bellying up to the table again in just a couple hours! I am pretty sure my colon hasn’t finished processing the first round of Thanksgiving edibles.

I am so full I haven’t even thought about Black Friday shopping…ok, well maybe a little but I can’t even do online shopping enthusiastically (not that I am ever enthusiastic about anything) because it is still hard to move.

So, here’s to holding down the toilet from the first go round to empty the main tank and get ready for the second round of tummy ache. 

How do you manage the after holiday tummy stretching?

Sorta Thankful

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I was at the store last evening picking up a last minute item needed by someone in the house to make something to put in my mouth today. The place was packed and the cash registers were beeping like crazy.

The young man behind the counter checking me out wished me a “Happy Thanksgiving” and I returned the sentiment. And then I added, “I hope you don’t have to work tomorrow.” His response irritated me, though it was really no fault of his own. 

You see, he has to work today, at a grocery store, on Thanksgiving. That is the totally irritating part! The poor kid will spend at least half of his day working instead of being with family or friends, all because we as a society are too damn selfish to let people stay home.

You know what they used to do if they forgot the olives, or cranberries, or whatever? THEY WENT WITHOUT and made due with what they did have! No stores were open and everyone survived without whatever was missing. Because, really, did they need it that bad?

No one was working (well, except for first responders – and we’ll talk about that in a second). Why have we become a society of consumers and “me first”? It really is all our (me included, though I have made great effort over the years not to be) fault. We have made this mess.

Anyway, there are people working today which I suppose is a necessary evil. First responders (fire, police, hospital, ambulance, etc) are all on the job today keeping people safe or saving people. I am thankful for them. They sacrifice for us and that we should be grateful for.

So, Piss and Moan is sorta thankful today…is it possible to be only partially thankful and still not be an ass? Eh, who cares. Happy Thanksgiving.