Month: November 2018

Fall colors = a close simulation of hell

Posted on by backuphill

nature red forest leaves

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Ooh they’re so pretty!”

“I just love fall. Crisp air and all the pretty colors on the trees.”

…said no one ever! Well, at least by someone who has the major task of raking all that “pretty fall color” out of their yard. Or, if you are in the Northwest, there is the forever piles of pine needles clogging up everything in sight! Sheesh.

As long as the days are dry and the weather is moderately mild, you can cheat and blow them outta the yard into your neighbor’s yard fairly easily. Once it get wet, as in rain, you need a freaking jet engine to blow them things loose.

So, if you don’t (or can’t) stay on top of the task, you are left raking – back busting, blister inducing, getting all wet and cold hell. After hours of sweating and bagging, you can see the lawn. And then the next wind storm comes and the process starts all over again. Welcome to fall hell…

Trees suck. We should cut them all down.

Just 6″ please!

Posted on by backuphill

blue jeans clothes shopping

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

One thing I have wished for all my life is six inches. I just want six more inches!

There are a lot of things that are inconvenient in life when you are short. 5’4″ is kinda short. Hey, I can’t help it, I have short parents too.

Anyway, six inches would go a long way in solving a lot of problems. First, it would put me a couple inches above the height of average American males, but it wouldn’t make me too tall (not that that is really an issue, I guess). Second, I could reach the top shelf of the cupboards without having to get out something to stand on. Third, I could easily find pants that fit.

Oh yeah, that last one is a big one, let me tell you! Being stalky is no day at the park, I have to say. Either the waist is too big, the legs too short, or the thighs and calves too tight. So, I have to make compromises. Purchased pants usually are too long and I either wear them that way (cuz they do shrink a little) or I have them hemmed (good luck trying to find people that do that these days).

Anyway, being short sucks. So, I’ll keep hoping I wake up 6″ taller some day. Or, hey, if you think about it, how about shooting up a prayer or two for me? You just never know, maybe someone will finally get the hint. Or, we’re getting into Santa season, maybe I’ll find some height in my stocking. What do you think Santa? Got my back on that one?

I didn’t think so.

#smh