Commentary | Piss and Moan

Sucky search

Posted on January 18, 2023 by backuphill

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

Not helpful. Not helpful at all.

Why is that when I click on the “Search” tab on the Reader page that 90% of the stuff that comes up is related to one of the dumbest sports on the planet – basketball? Why is it that I get a lot of results to basketball, hockey, soccer (football), and other things I have never, EVER, searched for? I don’t click on them either so why do the results continue to return things I am not interested in?

Anyone else notice this?

How are the search results determined? They certainly aren’t related to any tags or categories I use in my own blog, so where or how does it work?

I have tried searching for things I am interested on to change the results and it hasn’t helped at all.

So, I get a sucky search. Completely useless for finding new blogs I might be interested in.

Way to go WordPress. So helpful.

Debt limit

Posted on January 13, 2023 by backuphill

Time to tighten the belt.

Time to hunker down and make some painful adjustments.

Time for the government to live within it’s means and stop the unlimited spending.

You may have caught the article today saying the US will reach it’s debt limit and default by the end of next week, unless there is (again) a move to increase the limit. Every time this comes up, the debt limit is negotiated up…now sitting at $31 trillion.

Sorry, but you can’t have unlimited spending. You just can’t. Personal budgets don’t work that way. Company/business budgets don’t work that way. You can’t spend more and not cut it from somewhere else. That’s just not how it works. But, the government seems to think that’s they way to do it (especially one party, but both are guilty).

Time to stop assisting in places of the world that should take care of itself. Sure, I understand the goodwill generated by the international assistance fund, but we can’t afford it.

Time to stop paying for illegal immigrants to stay in the country.

Time to stop paying for every social “justice” fad that comes along.

Time to stop filling the budget with “pork“.

This doesn’t mean that increasing taxes is the answer either. Spend less, collect less. Collect only what is necessary.

Unfortunately, this isn’t something the politicians seem to understand.

Two times

Posted on January 11, 2023 by backuphill

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

What do you look forward to during the day? For me, there are two times during the day that I look forward to the most. Obviously, there are other times I look forward to – the end of the work day, meals, sitting on the couch to watch a show or play a video game…but there are TWO that stand out the most for me. Those two times are climbing into bed, pulling the covers over me, and when I first climb into a hot shower.

I suppose looking forward to climbing into a hot shower can be any time of the day, but for me it is usually in the morning. I start (for the most part) the day with a shower. Most days its early. That part is the downside of getting into the shower, but the feeling of the hot water running over my body and the tingle/sting on my skin is the best. It really makes me want to stay in the shower all day! Alas, I can’t. So, I savor the moment for a little while and then move along.

The second time of day to look forward is climbing back into bed. The feeling of the mattress against my back and then using the arm to sweep the covers back over my body to envelope me in warmth (once the coolness dissapates). Snuggling down into the bed and “burrito-ing” is the best! You can just feel the day just go away at that point. All is calm, all is forgotten.

What are your two times? What parts of your day do you look forward to?

New episodes

Posted on January 9, 2023 by backuphill

So, there is a new joke around here and for the living situation at the moment. It’s funny, frustrating, and incredibly sad at the same time. Every day there is a new episode of “Bad Parenting” in our house.

A son and his five kids (9, 6, 4, 2 & 1) are living with us and every day proves to be a new disaster, a new example of what you shouldn’t do as a parent. Each day sees the other two adults in the house shaking and scratching their heads on decisions and choices being made (or, really, not being made). We have seen and heard a lot of things in the last couple months.

So, the day gets wrapped up with the joke “On today’s episode…”

Maybe I could pitch this whole thing as a sit-com and make lots of money selling the rights…

Anyway, here is an example of what takes place during the different episodes of “Bad Parenting”:

Never set an alarm to wake up before your children so other people have to parent them and get them ready in the morning, including getting the two oldest off to school.
Give your three oldest children ice cream, disappear to the bathroom for 20 minutes, and then immediately tell them its time for bed – followed by yelling at them to be quiet and stay in bed.
Give all the children water bottles at bed time and then screaming at them to stay in bed and to stop getting up to go to the bathroom.
Yell at the 1-year old to go to sleep in the middle of the night but not check/change her diaper.
Leave all the children in the car so the 9-year old has to babysit while getting groceries.
Tell your 9-year old to watch all his siblings in their bedroom while you run to the store for breakfast (we were home, btw).
At meal time, nearly always give larger portions than appropriate for the age.
From the one above, when given appropriate size (rarely) not requiring the child to eat their food, then 20 minutes after the meal they say they are hungry and give them a snack.
Throw away all uneaten food served and never eat leftovers.
Keep a dog in the backyard and then never play with it, feed it (without reminders), water it (without reminders), or clean it’s pen.
Rarely engage with your children while you spend 80% of the day on your phone.
Have little to no income on a regular basis, but buy toys for them after making money and only two weeks after Christmas.
Rarely make real food, feed just prepackaged everything.
Give the messiest Lunchable possible (pizza) to the kids (all of them but the littlest) and then yell at them when you have to clean up their mess.
Disappear to the bathroom or vehicle in the driveway, leaving children unsupervised, for 15-35 minutes at a time…about every 35-40 minutes…
Claim smoking weed is the only way to cope with ADHD and do it at least 7 times a day.
Scream and yell at increasing volume, while repeating self 4-8 times, instead of actually disciplining the children.
Put one child down for a nap and disappear to leave other children unsupervised for 45 minutes.
Tell your youngest children to “clean up” after themselves without modeling it.
Tell your youngest children to brush their teeth without help.
Tell your children to go get in the vehicle without first making sure they have socks, shoes, and a coat on.

See? Wouldn’t this make for a great sit-com?

Reasonable, rational, and responsible adults can clearly see none of the above is a great way to live. Yet, no advice is ever asked for, ignored when given/suggested, and at nearly every turn the aid that is given help is taken advantage of and unappreciated.

Sad right?

Literally just making it up as he goes and hasn’t a clue what the hell he is doing. Does he love his children? I don’t doubt that he does. Unfortunately, there has been discussion about the fact that it would be easier to parent the grandchildren if the parent wasn’t in the picture. Fitness to be a parent is seriously questioned.

Between a rock-and-a-hard-place? Yep.

reSOLUTION time

Posted on January 5, 2023 by backuphill

In this new year of 2023, I hereby resolve to be liked by less people.

My resolution is a solution to some of the issues I have going on in my life. I am almost sure of it.

If I am liked less by people, then they will not want to spend time with me and will not want to be around me and will cause less drama and trouble in my life.

I am not here to please everyone. I am not here to be liked by everyone. I am not here to seek everyone’s approval.

I could use a cleansing of my circle. It doesn’t need to be this big.

I mean, there are people in my circle that I just can’t get along with. They rub me wrong with virtually everything they do. They irritate me to no end with every decision or indecision. They burn me when I am helping and they burn me when I am not helping.

Who needs this kinda crap?

Now, how do I tell some members of my family about my solution?

Guess it’s time to get out the big “I don’t care” stick.

Not improved

Posted on January 4, 2023 by backuphill

The first post of the new year is to let all of you know that nothing here has changed. The site is not “new and improved.” I am not new and improved. I don’t intended to make anything new or improve anything. Everything will stay the same and I will stay the same.

I am still grumpy.

I am still cantankerous.

I am still going to complain.

I am still irritable.

I am still shaking my head at all the BS around me.

I am still gonna Piss & Moan.

Have no fear, things around here aren’t going to change. So, as you read all these upbeat and overly optomistic posts on other sites about this looking (or hoping) like a better new year, just know you aren’ going to get any of that crap here.

Nothing is changing.

Hope is pointless since it will likely be dashed asap.

Just shrug your shoulders and keep trudging along.

Dreaded place

Posted on December 20, 2022 by backuphill

Tomorrow I start vacation until after the first of the new year. Only, in will feel very little like a vacation since my duties will be trying to keep the house from being destroyed and small children in line.

There will be screaming from them and their parent – during the whole day, and sometimes even at night.

There will be endless cleaning up after people.

There will be a constant watchful eye on everything that is done because one is never sure if it will lead to disaster.

Truthfully, home is a dreaded place.

I know I could cancel my vacation days and just work and take them at another time next year, but I have told too many people what is coming and now not taking them will cause problems.

So, for the two weeks I will look for opportunities to hide, in the house and by leaving the house.

Self-inflicted

Posted on December 19, 2022 by backuphill

Anyone else find it really hard to find sympathy within yourself when you watch people cause their own self-inflicted pain? Maybe I am cold-hearted. Maybe I am callous. Maybe I am jaded. Call it whatever you want.

I just find it really hard to watch someone make bad decisions, sometimes directly against/counter to advice they were given, and then suffer the consequeces of the bad decisions. It’s as though they would purposely chop off their own arm just so they can prove they didn’t listen to a word you said.

I just can’t find anywhere inside of myself any sympathy where someone continually subjects themselves (and typically others) to the consequenes of their ignorance/stupidity/willful disregard for wise counsel. It’s as though they would purposely chop off their own arm just so they can prove they didn’t listen to a word you said.

Anyone else have a similar problem?

Should I feel bad about not feeling bad?

Just can’t do it.

Don’t parent

Posted on December 16, 2022 by backuphill

There is SO MUCH that could be unloaded here as background. If you have been following this blog for a while (or have gone back and read the archive) then you know there is a family member and his children living here at the house now. Tragedy (he is a single dad now), poor choices, crappy circumstances…yeah, the situation for this person and the family is not ideal, to say the least.

However, they are here in the my home (not living in a trailer in the yard like last time). MY home. While this place may have been his home at one time, it isn’t his and it certainly hasn’t been his kids’. For all intents and purposes, they are guests here while he/they (hopefully sooner than later) get back on their feet.

But, there is constantly tension. Aside from some state food assistance, the adult staying here temporarily provides no sort of help. I am supporting eight people. My spouse is ill and physically incapable of doing much of the daily chores inside the home. She is definitely incapable of providing childcare beyond anything longer than about an hour. She wants to be helpful but frankly just isn’t able to the level she would like. So, much over EVERYTHING is left to me.

They (my spouse and her son) were having a discussion yesterday because she noticed he was frustrated (seemingly all the time). He doesn’t want to be here and feels stuck. (Frankly, we don’t really want him to be here but also feel stuck because of the situation.) He has been here for over a month now and we, obviously, have observed and heard a lot.

He doesn’t appear to want to get a full time job because he wants to get is handyman business off the ground (not a great time to get that started!). He doesn’t have a discipline strategy (constant yelling/screaming at them and repeating himself umpteen times) that works for his kids. He doesn’t have any place for the kids to go to daycare so he can work or at least work on finding work. Honestly, his life is the definition of insanity because he is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

In the discussion with my spouse yesterday he said part of the tension in the house is because he doesn’t want us parenting his children (our grandchildren). She tried to get clarification about what that meant to him but he couldn’t really explain what that meant. We are pretty sure he is talking about discipline but he wouldn’t actually say that. We have a different philosophy than he has. But honestly, his philosophy doesn’t work and it plays out every day in our home. We are trying to respect his wishes but he got mad at his mom the other day for suggesting that maybe it was time to spank one of the children. Mind you, this was AFTER he had screamed at the child all morning for blantant disobedience, attitude, disrespect, etc. The yelling is of no consequence to these children because they have heard it all the time and still hear it all the time.

“Don’t parent my children.”

So, what are we to do? They don’t obey, respect, listen, follow directions, behave, etc., when we talke to them.

But, he accepts the parenting of his children when we provide daycare, prepare and feed them meals, bathe them, helpe them with their homework, get dressed in the morning or for bed, get up with them in the middle of the night, change diapers, make bottles, help get their teeth brushed, do all their laudry, make their beds,…you can see how this is going, right?

Where exactly would you like us to “stop parenting”?

Sorry, if you are going to live under our roof for free and use all our stuff, there is gonna be some damn discipline. You don’t get to have exceptions. I don’t care if you’re the adult parent of the kids.

There has to be a better way.

The chaos is terrible. It’s like constantly living in a tornado. The “eye of the storm”? That currently doesn’t exist in this universe.

I actually don’t even look forward to returning home after leaving. I don’t want to be in my own home. The only reason I do is for fear that my spouse is the one having to do everything. I am afraid it might actually be making her worse.

Don’t parent.

We are having to parent our adult child while parenting our grandkids at the same time. It friggin’ sucks…and there is honestly no end in sight…

Don’t parent.

Like hell, I ain’t stopping. There will be peace in my home again. If it causes him and the family to move out, so be it. That’s his choice. There will be peace, one way or another.

Office lunch

Posted on December 14, 2022 by backuphill

Here’s a question for you. I probably should preface the question first with some background but I’ll just blurt it out first and then do a little backfilling.

Should the office holiday lunch be catered or “potluck-ish”?

OK, the backfill…so, the office has a holiday party (think office Christmas party, but you know, politics….) where we have a white elephant gift exchange and the managers provide (as in pay for) the lunch of pizza, garlic bread, salad, soda, etc. In the past, the activity took place at a pizza place and everyone travelled there to partake during the work day as it was only about 15 minutes from work. Then the world-wide panic happened and this practice was postponed for a couple years.

Keep in mind this shindig (at least the lunch part) is coming out of the managers’ pockets (there are three of them) because office funds can’t be used. We get paid for the time. They have always framed this as a “Thank you, for doing a great job all year” kind of deal.

So, this year they decided it would be held at the office in the conferences rooms (they can be combined into one large room) and they would provide the food. Like, literally, they would provide the food. They each brought part of the makings for a taco bar. So, in essence, the three managers provide all the potluck items. All of us then proceeded to go past the tables, buffet style, and put together out own plates. They also provided several different desserts. Most everything was from Costco and was either pre-made or prepped at their home prior to the gathering.

So, how should we feel?

Should we feel appreciated or should we feel like the managers “cheaped out”?

I understand it took effort and some expense on their part. I do feel appreciated to a degree, and yet I can’t help but feel the gesture was out of obligation rather than true appreciation. Does it have to be catered or lavish to get a true feeling of appreciation? I didn’t think so when it was at the pizza place. I don’t know. I just feel a little put out this year for some reason.

How would you feel?