Piss and Moan

Extreme dislike – Morning Routine

Posted on August 22, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

You know how you have that one thing that you really just don’t like doing? Do you wish there was a permanent solution so you didn’t have to do it? Yeah, me too.

In this case I am talking about – SHAVING!

Ugh, I hate doing it. I hate that it takes so much time to do it in the mornings. I hate that I have to buy razors and handles and cream/foam/gel (whatever). I hate that I have to look at my ugly mug each morning and debate, “Is today the day? Should I shave or not? Can I get away with not doing it today?”

OK, ladies, I know. I know! Stop complaining, right? I realize I have way less surface area to shave. But, I also can’t (realistically) hide my noggin in pants, or under a skirt (or even in a mask). You at least have that! I don’t have the option to hide it if I don’t want to shave.

And, yes, I could just go full lumberjack (or worse, hipster…), but this just isn’t really acceptable in the business world quite yet and I also have some health issues that keep from doing it long term. So, yeah, there are limitations that make it necessary to shave.

I just hate it.

Hack hack cough cough

Posted on August 21, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com

afe;anu;aenuBGJVABFV;A;nabn;uanb;nr;an. anfaournajnv. uanpouvannurafknajhrh. $$%$^&#!

Oops, sorry…

It’s so damn smoky here in WA that I can’t hardly see my keyboard. Air quality sucks and visibility sucks even more. Those beautiful mountains that are normally in the distance, snow capped peaks and such, are all gone. It is like we are suddenly living on a flat Earth (stop it! Stop. It. I know what you’re thinking – that was a simile).

I.Can’t.Breathe.

I.Can’t.Think.

Someone stop putting the fires out every year so we can breathe a little easier next year. Yeah, that is actually how it works. Just saying…

Anyway, give me a shout out if you can’t breathe as well. Or give me a shout out because you can take in lungs full of clean air and have the energy to shout.

The only safe place on Earth

Posted on August 20, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Monday morning and there seems to be only one safe place left on Earth. Ok, to be fair, each of us only has one safe place left…

BED.

I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do anything today. I don’t want to see people. I don’t want to talk to people. I don’t want to sit in traffic. I don’t want to…I just don’t want to…

WAIT. Maybe bed isn’t the safest place any more. I think I have just been assaulted by my alarm clock. Damn. So much for this safe space.

Cockroaches, AND weeds

Posted on August 17, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by zhang kaiyv on Pexels.com

Alright, you all know the joke about the only living thing being able to survive a nuclear holocaust is a cockroach, right? Well, I think we can add one more thing to that list…and they’re living in my yard (and likely yours too). As we work in the flower beds or mow the lawn, we all refer to them as – “F$%*#@ weeds!” We just get tired of them always being there.

Weeds. Weeds! How is it that the grass can turn brown and die, but there are weeds flourishing in my yard? One the side of the road? In fields everywhere? How is it that they can get NO WATER and still live? They can’t be killed! You spray them with killer. You burn them with flamethrowers. And they just keep.coming.back. How can this be?

So, I think we need to change the joke. We can just simply say that there will be two living things on Earth after a nuclear war…cockroaches and weeds. It will be a perfect world where two of the most unwanted, least desired, most indestructible life forms will live in our place. Perfect.

I wonder if it really makes a difference

Posted on August 16, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

On any given work day, I have nearly two hours of commute (round trip) time. Yeah, I can feel your groans. I do it too. To be honest, the commute is the worst part of my job and if I could not do it and make the same income I would change in a heartbeat. But, it is what it is.

So, I have been using the Waze app to see if it can help alleviate the commute time a little. Supposedly it is “real time” traffic routing based on user reports. It is owned by Google, so all it does it take the traffic reports and move it to a different app instead of the regular Google Maps app. Anyway, I am not sure it is helping.

Why is it not helping? Or at least, why do I not think it is helping? Well, it takes me just as long to get home when I use it and when I don’t use it. By time it routes be down some obscure neighborhood road, or through every traffic light in town, it has taken me roughly the same amount of time to get to the exact same choke point at just going the most direct route, via the highway where all the other cars are sitting in traffic. Maybe it is just the nature of the necessary route to get home (there are literally only two ways to get home via two choke points). But, one would think that you could at least get to the choke point a little faster using the app. Not so.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

#trafficiskillingme #smh

That zit, I’ve had it!

Posted on August 15, 2018 by backuphill

Stock photo from some random Google search.

Of course, I wake up and there is a freaking beacon of red, flashing on my forehead this morning. Of course. Where the hell did that come from?

Zit. Pimple. Blemish. Skin eruption.

Is it me, or do guys/men have a distinct disadvantage when dealing with this kind of stuff? I mean, if something of this sort happens to a woman (ok, I am generalizing here), they have products to deal with it, AND at the very least something to cover it up. Guys, we don’t have those kinds of products…or at least a vast majority of men don’t. So, now what?

To add to this already relatively unattractive mug, I now have something to stare at as I present in front of a group or talk to clients. Great. Just great. As if I didn’t already have a reason to feel self-conscious.

Oh, you must be exempt from traffic laws

Posted on August 14, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Wanna know who is exempt from traffic laws? Cops, apparently.

You see them speed all the time on the highway. You see them make a flagrant u-turns in traffic. You see them park on the side of the road (especially on overpasses) with a portion of their vehicle in traffic. You see them park in “No Parking” or “Fire” zones. You see them park on sidewalks. You see them using their computers and their cell phones while driving. You see them not use their signals properly. So, they must be exempt, right?

I was always under the impression that the only time they were exempt from traffic laws was when they had their lights on and were responding to a call. They don’t even have to have their siren on, but they at the very least had to have their lights on. Otherwise, I was under the impression they should act as though they are the same as any other citizen. Well, we clearly and regularly don’t see this happen, right?

So what gives? I have never had a law enforcement official clearly explain this to me. When asked if they are exempt from the law, they say no but they can’t explain why it is acceptable why they violate traffic laws on a regular basis. Anyone got an answer?

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Posted on August 13, 2018 by backuphill

https://cdn.patchcdn.com/users/47905/2013/02/T800x600/bca1a8464d982956d5a69f13c17a8337.jpg

*Disclaimer #1, no, I haven’t been pulled over for this yet.

There are some really dumb traffic laws out there, and this happens to be one of the dumbest. The sheer nature of the law assumes that someone will be speeding and someone else will be impeding their progress.

wesleychapelcommunity.com

So, let’s talk about this for a second. Let’s assume you are trying to follow the posted speed limit and are not exceeding it. Slower vehicles are supposed to stay to the right (it’s the law, right?). If, by the nature of traveling the speed limit, you are able to pass people while traveling in the left lane then you are not causing anyone grief because you are in fact going the speed limit.

Let’s just say an emergency vehicle comes up from behind you with their lights on. What do you do? You move to the right, like the law says to do. If you don’t move right, you can and should be ticketed for not following the law. So, is this an issue with traveling in the left lane?

If you are going slower than the speed limit, well, then you could be pulled over because you are actually being a hazard to other drivers and should be pulled over for being a danger to yourself and others.

Finally, that leaves anyone who is going over the speed limit, which I do regularly. *Disclaimer #2 – I do not condone speeding, I am just merely using myself as an example. First, if you are speeding you can be pulled over for that because you are violating a law already on the books. However, since you are speeding you are likely passing slower people who are staying on the right. Thus, no need for the law. If you are one of those jackwagons (is that gender specific or is it all-inclusive?) who decides that you are going to speed at an unreasonable rate and unsafely, well then there is already a law on the books for that. It is called reckless driving.

So that leaves a scenario where I am traveling over the speed limit and passing people on the left when a jackwagon speeds up from behind me and tailgates me as I don’t move immediately out-of-the-way. Who is in the wrong here? As we are both exceeding the speed limit, both of us are passing people on the left. We are both speeding, only one of us is doing it in an unsafe manner. I am not really impeding anyone in traffic, except the jackwagon behind me who feels the need to run everyone off the road to get to where they are going. Get my drift here?

The “keep right” law is dumb.

Fleeing followers on Instagram

Posted on August 10, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Growing an Instagram account can be tough. Getting people to follow you, to share you, to like and comment is down right challenging.

What really sucks is that you start to see some results and people are beginning to follow you and then they flee – unfollow almost as fast as they followed you. At first I was being courteous and following them back, but I soon learned that these accounts were following my account just so they could get a follow and then they would unfollow my account.

Well, if that doesn’t just burn ya up, I don’t know what will. People work really hard to create good content so the can get followers and really make an effort to do it via a legit method (I mean I get spam offers for “follower generators” all the time). Kinda makes ya mad, ya know?

Is that really how people get followers to their accounts? Spam follow accounts and hope they follow you back?

Lunch at the park

Posted on August 9, 2018 by backuphill

Photo by Scosche on Pexels.com

I see you, dude.

I see you in your jacked up, shiny, big tired, over-sized pickup, that you’ll never take off road. Your windows down and engrossed in some kind of reading. But…

But, before I noticed you in that truck I SMELLED you. Yes, I smelled you!

Yeah, your stench is undeniable and totally recognizable. Because while you are sitting there with your windows rolled down, the breeze is wafting the smoke of that joint in your hand all over the other people sitting in their cars trying enjoy their lunches. Thanks, jerk.

Then after we have all suffered through your bad habit, which is illegal to smoke in public, you start your vehicle and drive off, also illegal. Nice.

I guess there are very few places you can go these days without having to deal with this sort of entitled, “it’s my right,” behavior. No courtesy for others, just “all about me.”

#smh