Cruise control

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Do you use cruise control in your vehicle when you are on a long drive? Do you like to set it and forget it…until some jackwagon decides that pacing you in your blind spot is a good idea and then you have to cancel your cruise by stepping on your brake?

You know it is inevitable, right? Is that Murphy’s Law or is that bad karma or is it just a coincidence?

I took a road trip this last weekend (12 hours total driving time) and I noticed that just about every time I set the cruise control (about 7-8 mph over the speed limit, mind you) that within about 10 minutes I would have to step on the brake and cancel it.

I was driving across the state, on the east side, where there are long stretches of nothing. It’s just highway – long, flat, some rolly hills, but mostly uninteresting. You would think it would be a great place to just set the cruise control and just drive.

Nope.

Seemingly without fail, about the time I would need to pass someone on the left there would be a car pacing me, in my blind spot, and not allowing me to change lanes.

It’s almost as if they were doing it on purpose. Miles and miles and miles of unobstructed driving until that moment.

And instead of recognizing what is about to happen in front of or next to them and speeding up just a little so as to not have to slow down themselves, they just keep their own pace and make me break mine. Jackwagon.

Do people realize you can step on the gas while cruise control is on and speed up and it DOES NOT cancel your cruis control or change your speed? No need to reset it. No need to click Resume. The vehicle just returns to the speed you set it for. Kinda like magic.

But instead, it would appear people like to annoy the hell outta me (and probably others too).

That just figures.

Headline spoilers

voice spoiler

Thanks a lot, HuffPost!

Not only are you a hack news outlet, but you are also the jackwagon news outlet that chose to post a headline spoiler for “The Voice” the morning after the finale. Look at the other headlines. Any of those have a spoiler in them? NOPE!

I am still gonna watch The Voice finale, but I am irritated that this stupid gossip rag doesn’t have enough sense to keep the spoilers out of the headlines. I bet they also published that Santa and the Easter bunny weren’t real either….


Ever had something spoiled because you looked at the news?

The line cutter

group of people walking near clear glass window with a view of white airplane parked during daytime

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Yo, dude, never mind me. I wasn’t standing here, in line, waiting my turn like a civilized person.

Ever had that happen to you? Of course you have. I am sure it happens way more often than you’d like, in fact. Because, you know, the people who read this blog are all rational and intelligent people who like order.

In the last week, it has happened at Starbucks and Home Depot. Minding my own business, waiting patiently for my turn in line, when some jackwagon walks up and jumps in line without looking to see if there were people in line. Yes, lady, we’re all just standing here for our health.

Confession time…about a month ago, I was that jackwagon. It was totally not on purpose though and I apologized PROFUSELY when I discovered that I had jumped in line in front of people who were waiting. It was at the grocery store and they were standing in an aisle waiting for the register to open up (in my defense, they were more than 8 feet away). I looked. It didn’t appear at first glance that people were waiting, so I jumped in line. Only as I got started on the self-checkout that the lady standing in the front of the line in the aisle came to start her self-checkout did I realize that there had been a line. She was gracious and didn’t curse me out, but good grief did I feel bad.

The Starbucks lady? She didn’t feel bad at all. I guess her overwhelming need for that frappe just overrode her sense of common decency and humanity. The guy at Home Depot? Yeah, no such remorse from him either. He just dragged the store associate to another aisle and took his sweet time asking questions while the rest of us waited for the associate to come back.

So, in conclusion, let’s all slow down a little today and take it easy. Nothing is really that important. Be courteous. Be kind. Be patient. Be polite.

Be in line.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

*Disclaimer #1, no, I haven’t been pulled over for this yet.

There are some really dumb traffic laws out there, and this happens to be one of the dumbest. The sheer nature of the law assumes that someone will be speeding and someone else will be impeding their progress.

Bahn Storming

wesleychapelcommunity.com

So, let’s talk about this for a second. Let’s assume you are trying to follow the posted speed limit and are not exceeding it. Slower vehicles are supposed to stay to the right (it’s the law, right?). If, by the nature of traveling the speed limit, you are able to pass people while traveling in the left lane then you are not causing anyone grief because you are in fact going the speed limit.

Let’s just say an emergency vehicle comes up from behind you with their lights on. What do you do? You move to the right, like the law says to do. If you don’t move right, you can and should be ticketed for not following the law. So, is this an issue with traveling in the left lane?

If you are going slower than the speed limit, well, then you could be pulled over because you are actually being a hazard to other drivers and should be pulled over for being a danger to yourself and others.

Finally, that leaves anyone who is going over the speed limit, which I do regularly. *Disclaimer #2 – I do not condone speeding, I am just merely using myself as an example. First, if you are speeding you can be pulled over for that because you are violating a law already on the books. However, since you are speeding you are likely passing slower people who are staying on the right. Thus, no need for the law. If you are one of those jackwagons (is that gender specific or is it all-inclusive?) who decides that you are going to speed at an unreasonable rate and unsafely, well then there is already a law on the books for that. It is called reckless driving.

So that leaves a scenario where I am traveling over the speed limit and passing people on the left when a jackwagon speeds up from behind me and tailgates me as I don’t move immediately out-of-the-way. Who is in the wrong here? As we are both exceeding the speed limit, both of us are passing people on the left. We are both speeding, only one of us is doing it in an unsafe manner. I am not really impeding anyone in traffic, except the jackwagon behind me who feels the need to run everyone off the road to get to where they are going. Get my drift here?

The “keep right” law is dumb.