mirror | Piss and Moan

Cool sculpting

Posted on August 7, 2020 by backuphill

Photo by Athena on Pexels.com

I saw a commercial last night for a weight-loss process called, cool scuplting. Apparently this is a trend that is catching on. The way I understand it is that they freeze fat cells and then when they thaw out they magically break down and vanish. At least that is what I gathered from it.

When I did a quick Google search, there are places here locally that offer this interesting (and apparently safe?) weight loss technique/process. So, I guess I could go inquire about it if I was really interested.

Is it covered by insurance? I mean, if not being overweight is more healthy then I would think this should thing should be covered by insurance.

This pandemic thing has cause me to eat. Well, actually, I always eat. It didn’t just start because of the pandemic. But, what I mean, is that it feels like I am eating all the time since I work from home. The scale says I am maintaining, but when I look in the mirror it doesn’t appear as though I am maintaining. Maybe the weight just happens to appear where the mirror can see so I feel like I am gaining weight. Again, the scale says I haven’t. But I am definitely not losing any…

Anyway, I was thinking, since I have weight I could lose, that I could maybe try this cool sculpting thing. I really don’t want to pay for it though. That’s an issue.

I do, however, have a box freezer. A big one! If all you have to do is freeze fat cells then I am set! I don’t need to visit some clinic.

I’m gonna try to clean out some stuff from the box freezer so I can lay down in there. It should only take a couple hours. I’ll freeze all that extra fat around my belly, in my face and neck area, a little on my ass….this is gonna be epic!

Once those couple hours are done, I am gonna be back to the weight was was in high school. She will hardly recognize me.

Oh, I better get started. I don’t want her to find me in the freezer.

I wanna surprise her!

In the mirror

Posted on December 13, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Drigo Diniz on Pexels.com

Every stand in front of the mirror and wonder, “What happened?”

I mean, this is starting to become a regular occurrence for me. So, I wonder if others have a similar experience any time they are in front of a mirror.

I am not a good judge of myself, at least when it comes to appearance. I’ll say that right off the top. I am hard on myself. But, to be honest, I haven’t ever though that I fall in the “attractive” category. “OK” at best, but probably mostly “Fair” would be safe.

Anyway, the bathroom is becoming my enemy. Well, any place that has a mirror, but mostly the bathroom. Or, you could probably include any picture of me. Those suck too, but that’s a whole other story.

So, morning and night starts and ends in the bathroom for me. I have to “put in my eyes,” as I like to say it, in the morning and “take out my eyes” at night. Blind as a bat…but that too is a post for another day.

I watch my body change. I watch my face change. I watch what “used to be” become my “new normal” and I just wonder, “What the hell happened?” My face could scare small children (and likely does…though it doesn’t crack the mirror so maybe it isn’t that bad…) and my body could be used as a boat anchor, only I probably would still float too well. Aches appear from nowhere. Creaks and pops from the joints that used to be flexible and nimble. Bumps, lines, and spots appear on my face as though I am trying to win a topographical map contest. I stare at it and it stares back. Only the gaze that comes back is different than the one previously.

Age. Is. Unkind. It can’t be denied and it can’t be avoided. I guess there is some control over how it happens and how gracefully you can handle it, but in the end the end still comes.

Some days though, I can’t help but dislike what I see.