Can this really be a thing?
In the last week before Christmas, this little pass may just come in handy. Thought I would share with you too in case you would like a little stress relief also.
Month: December 2018
I didn’t order the combo
Photo by Genaro Servín on Pexels.com
Ever get something you don’t want?
Living in the upper left corner of the US means we get a lot of a combo I don’t like.
I don’t mind rain.
I actually kinda like wind.
I DO NOT like them together.
When rain falls, it should fall straight down. Then it is easily avoided (for the most part) by making sure you are under something.
When it is windy AND raining at the same time, well that presents a problem. No longer can you get under something to avoid getting wet. Instead, the wind causes the rain to go sideways and even sometimes lifts rain that has already fallen on the ground right back off of it! That is just plain ridiculous.
Anyway, the upper left corner could use less of the sideways rain and more of the straight down rain.
What weather combo do you not like?
TMI?
Photo by Foodie Factor on Pexels.com
Are you all ready for this?
It perhaps falls into the TMI category…
What is the deal with the biology or science or chemistry or whatever behind this?
Consume asparagus = Get stinky pee.
Why?
And I am not talking like hours later. I am talking like within 30 minutes. So weird.
Why?
I suppose I could Google it, since it is the knower of all things. But I wanna know your explanation. Make something up! Tell me the truth. Just give me an answer because, like the old commercial used to say, “Inquiring minds want to know.”
Why?
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Hail (to) the garbageman
Photo by Emmet on Pexels.com
If you are a home owner, you have probably done this at least once. My guess is probably more than once. What is it, you ask?
It looks a little like this…
You’re laying in bad dead asleep. Blissfully not a care in the world when you are awakened by a familiar noise. You listen for a second and then realize that familiar noise is the garbage truck up the street. IT. IS. GARBAGE.DAY. and you forgot to put out the can(s)!
So, you bolt from bed, desperately trying to clothe yourself (or maybe not, if you’re that kind of person) and put on some sort of foot covering as you awkwardly and progressively work your way through the house to the cans that need to be taken to the street.
Now, if you are quick, hopefully you made it to the street before the truck comes rambling up to scoop up your cans as you stand there in the driveway or next to the road, disheveled like you just randomly dressed in clothes you found in the dumpster behind the thrift store. But if you are not…well, my friend, you are just SOL.
Maybe, just maybe, you get lucky and make eye contact with the garbage collection officer and he acknowledges you and comes back to empty your can. That is a glorious day and the victory feels like you should just stop there for the day and not risk further misfortune.
But if you are not that lucky, you get the walk of shame with a full can and another week of stinky garbage. You might as well crawl in the can and wait. There is no coming back from this defeat.
So, don’t be that guy. Get the garbage out and hail to the garbageman.
The Office Donut
Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Pexels.com
There they are, staring at me like a cat about to eat the canary.
It feels weird to complain about donuts, but dang it already I am going to.
I don’t need these. It is December, the month of Christmas treats everywhere.
I have no will power.
Stupid donuts.
Guess I’ll eat as many as possible so they stop staring at me.
Cold and wet
Photo by Andrew Haimerl on Pexels.com
OK, I am done with winter.
Particularly the cold and wet part of it.
The upper left corner of the US doesn’t get a lot of snow, at least on the coastal side of the mountains, but the rain seems to be endless. And the dark lasts forever, but not like Alaska dark forever. Just “I went to work and went home in the dark” forever.
Sheesh, we haven’t even made it to the winter solstice yet…
I.am.done.
Time, not my friend
Photo by Luka Siemionov on Pexels.com
You know when you have stuff to do at work and there just isn’t any time? Yeah, that’s me today and all of next week.
People are sick, so you have to cover them. People need to get hired, so you cover jobs they would normally be responsible for. People are gone giving training or getting training, so you have to cover them. It’s a wonder I have time for my own job!
I have to give training next week and so far I have had less than an hour to prepare. The prospect of time today, is next to nil. The prospect of time next week is just above nil.
Guess I’ll wing it, like usual.
Home office chills
Photo by Noelle Otto on Pexels.com
My job allows me to telecommute two days a week and let me tell you that I am gonna take advantage of that in any way possible since I have to drive through the worst traffic in the US, to the tune of 45 miles one way to work. So, having the chance to telecommute is not going to go untakenadvantageof (yes I know that word is made up, but it should be a real word).
Anyway, the disadvantage to my telecommute at this point is that the house is too small to have my “home office” actually in the home, which means it is currently set up in my garage. It isn’t a totally bad deal except…
…except the garage isn’t completely insulated and on rare occasions the temperature of the upper left corner of the contiguous 48 actually dips below freezing. As such, the “home office” gets rather chilly. This morning the “home office” was 41 degrees before turning on the heater and when I started working, over an hour later, it was 46 degrees.
My “home office” requires a continually running heater and a stocking cap. And a perpetually warm cup of coffee for the hands.
Oh the sacrifices I make to work from home.
Babysitting co-workers
Tasked this morning with babysitting co-workers who have difficulty getting along…and they are the ones presenting a workshop today.
Last minute assignment from the boss. Up way too early for this.
This should be interesting.
I need staples…
Photo by Dom J on Pexels.com
The supply cabinet at the office should do the trick. No, I am not stealing from the office for my stapler at home. These are for my actual work stapler.
Here’s the thing. The office supplies are ordered from an office supply store named “Staples.” Guess what? They have store branded items! Great if you are buying office supplies and want something cheaper than the name brand stuff. Perfect solution.
But wait! What happens when you go to the supply closet/cabinet and open it up looking for staples? Yep. Sure. OK. There are fifty small boxes in the cabinet all with the work “Staples” on them…now I am supposed to look for a box labeled Staples Staples?
Good luck to me. Maybe I didn’t really need staples that badly.
#fml #smh
Piss and Moan 