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Can we just stop already? This has just gotten totally outta hand!
Is anyone else tired of the “Pumpkin Spice” takeover of the world?
I mean really, does EVERYTHING need to have pumpkin spice in it?
See here, here, and here. Oh, and here and over there.
Enough already. Seriously. No one likes it that much. No one.
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You know what is better than sliced bread? Bread you bake at home and have to slice yourself.
What is with the crap you buy in the store? What did they do in the process to make it taste like…nothing. It is virtually flavorless, it is light and fluffy, and it barely makes a proper piece of toast.
If you have had home-baked, fresh bread, you know what I am talking about! Sure, I may have to slice it myself and those slices may not come out all uniform or nor but it sure tastes better.
So what gives? They had to ruin bread just so they could mass produce it and slice it? Why can’t they make it taste like the stuff you would make at home?
Remember that old saying, something about a “bottomless pit“?
How about we fill that bottomless pit with coffee?? Can there ever be enough coffee?
I mean, seriously, how am I gonna survive today…
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Sorry if that triggered you and your musical sensibilities…
Ice cream.
We all scream.
There is just not a big enough bowl for ice cream. No matter how much you have, there is always the desire for more and the bowl just isn’t big enough. You finish your helping and the immediate thought “Why is my bowl empty? Is there more?”
Someone invent a bottomless, auto-refilling bowl of ice cream and you will make millions…just saying…
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What’s with water anyway?
Why is it so tasteless? Yes, I know that is a generalization and all water has a little something (chemicals/minerals/etc) that give it a “taste,” but it isn’t really a taste at the same time.
Drink more water they say…
OK, can you make it taste better without me going through the effort of adding something too it? It is just too much work. How about it just come out of the tap or, better yet, the dispenser in the fridge with some flavor?
Damn, I should patent this idea immediately! Soda machines let you choose the flavor of soda (who knew there were 435 *exaggeration* different flavors of Coke?), so why can’t my fridge do the same thing (some on Samsung, innovate that! I want credit though)? I press a button and the water that fills my bottle has a hint of lemon or a hint of lime or a hint of blackberry or a hint of mint (ewww) or a hint of fruit punch or whatever you think would be nice.
Make it happen people!
Otherwise, plain water is boring and I don’t want to drink it. But I do, reluctantly and begrudgingly.
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THE activity of vacation was a fishing trip off Vancouver Island, BC, Canada (you have probably heard me talk about this a little this week). It was the whole purpose of the trip, to put fish in the boat and fill up the freezer with as much salmon and bottom fish as possible.
Well, I would like to tell you that fishing is not relaxing and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying…
Early mornings. Why is it the fish only seem to want to take the bait early in the morning? How early, well, for nearly a week it was 4:30 or 5:00am so in my case that is at least 30 minutes before I normally get up for work.
Rough waters. Now, some of you probably fish on the bank of a river or on a nice calm lake. Honestly, that isn’t fishing…if the fish you catch are less that 5 pounds, all you caught was a “water rat.” Anyway, that is beside the point. Ocean fishing involves waves. Rolling waves and choppy seas. You spend much of the time fighting to maintain your balance and the rest of the time trying not to fall overboard. Never mind the rough bouncing and banging of the boat trip just to get to the fishing spot. Yeah, not relaxing.
Stress. There is stress in fishing. Why? Well, because you want to catch fish, that is why you’re there. When you aren’t catching fish, the stress mounts because you aren’t catching fish. Each time you have a fish on and then don’t get it into the boat, the stress builds a little more until finally you’re so high strung that jumping overboard actually becomes an option.
Lost fish. With each fish that doesn’t make it into the boat, you start to wonder what you are doing wrong. “I must be doing something wrong because I’m not getting it into the boat,” you think to yourself. So you try something different, only to not have it work and then you return to what you were originally doing. Let me tell you, those thieving sons of fishies will take your bait in a heartbeat and then spit the hooks like they were tossing garbage to the curb. Frustration mounts.
Cleaning and packing. If you happen to catch fish, then you have to clean them, pack them, then ice/freeze them. The boat has to be cleaned eat night from the saltwater and the fish guts. You have to pack for a trip of uncertain weather and success. You have to unpack from the trip and do laundry, after getting very little sleep all week.
Tell me, where was the relaxing vacation again?
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Do you like bagels? That’s a silly question, right? I mean, as long as you aren’t gluten intolerant you probably like a bagel now and again.
Costco makes pretty good bagels, but then Costco has a real bagel problem too.
When you buy bagels at Costco you get a dozen bagels for $5.99 (or something like that). You pick two sleeves of six bagels, in your favorite flavor, and off you go. The problem with the bagels is they don’t keep long, not long at all.
If you want a bagel for breakfast you better have put them in the freezer and defrost one each day. The reason being is that if you leave the bagels out on the counter for more than two days, they get moldy. I mean like REALLY fast! Day three will likely find them with mold and you aren’t gonna want to eat that. It really is a problem as I have wasted my fair share of bagels over the years and I wonder if Costco even cares.
Anyone else experience this problem of nearly instantly moldy bagels?
The office coffee maker is kind of an important place in the office. You might even call it a “sacred” place. It is what keeps most of us functional, but it also something that keeps some of us from murdering our co-workers, or other unfortunate nearby folk. So, when etiquette isn’t followed it makes a few of us wanna “go postal” (no offense to postal employees, it was a thing in the 80s and 90s).
Anyway, we are responsible for providing our own coffee pods, since the machine is a single serve Keurig. Not a problem. I can do that. Besides, then I can get different kinds and blends, etc.
HOWEVER, what does appear to be a problem is keeping the machine full of water! Common courtesy says, “If I use the last bit of water in the reservoir, I should fill it back up,” or “The refill pitcher is low (or empty), I should fill that up for the next person.” Yeah, well, I guess I have some discourteous co-workers. Without fail, I seem to be the only person who keeps the machine and refill pitcher full of water.
I think I won’t have coffee one day just to spite them all and then I won’t fill the water anywhere. Wait…I am gonna have to weigh whether or not this is worth going to jail over…
#WTH #SMH
Old people and their pudding.
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Every had to travel for work to attend a workshop or conference, only to regret that you went because the boredom is excruciating?
Yeah. That was me yesterday. And I have another day to go. Boring…
To top it all off, I have a co-worker sitting next to me that wants to talk about everything and has to say something about everything. So, not only is the presentation boring, but the person next to me won’t shut up and is annoying.
Perhaps I can hangout with the coffee machine. It at least provides something interesting, and I am going to need it today.
More coffee please!
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Piss and Moan 