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I shoulda just called in sick today.
That’s not really the right attitude to have, but work sucks today.
I can think of hundreds of other things I’d rather be doing, or hundreds of other places I’d rather be.
Having a hard time dealing with it.
Just not motivated to exert myself in employment today.
My brain already hurts and I’m tired.
Shoulda. Shoulda done a lot of things. Shoulda, shoulda…
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Working from home has created some issues…
The pantry is taunting me.
Like, seriously, it yells my name EVERY DAY and it wants me to constantly visit with it. Like I mean, it wants to snuggle and stuff. It’s weird, I know, but I can’t explain it any other way.
I try not to listen. I turn the music up. I have meetings. I blindfold myself.
But it is persistent.
It has scrumptious treats. They are salty. They are crunchy. They are sweet. They are spicy…
Resistance is nearly futile. I can’t escape it.
It calls me when I am working. It calls me when I am sleeping. It calls me when I am on the couch. It calls me even when I am out in the yard (it just yells louder…)
I have tried disconnecting my number but it still manages a way to get in touch.
It’s irritating really. But, oh so enticing too…
Wait, what?
Did you hear that? It’s calling again. I’ll go see what it wants now. If I am not back in 10 minutes, leave me alone. We’re snuggling again.
This “stay at home” order is killing me. Well, actually it may end up killing others in the house…
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY SNACKS!
Little people. Adults. Adults in charge of little people. I don’t care. These are mine and I don’t want you touching them or eating them or moving them or anything else.
I know what you are thinking. “He still has snacks left?”
That’s a fair question.
I had a personal stash that I didn’t tell anyone about. But someone caught me hunkered down in a corner eating a tasty morsel and the curiosity began…
Thus, my own little pot-o-gold for times of telecommuting in the garage has been sniffed out. Honestly, the stash was getting a little thin after two weeks of telecommuting and I am not sure how I could sneak more into the house…leaving the house is suspicious, for obvious reasons, and if I return and skulk back into the garage carrying grocery bags it is going to be even more suspicious.
This whole event has caused me to view the eating habits of a few people in the house and can say that I don’t like it. The munching, the crunching, the gobbling, the face stuffing, the pie-hole gorging are starting to irritate me. Do I really need to feed all these people? Who can I vote off the island? Who can I sacrifice and live without?
Anyone else feel like Gollum from “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings” when it comes to their snacks?
WHO DID THIS?!?!?
…leaving a square destroyed like this is just not acceptable. It’s unusable at this point!
I may hyperventilate at the wastefulness. This impacts resources. Seriously. This stuff doesn’t grow on trees…and neither does the money needed to buy this it…
Wait.
Wipe that…from the memory banks…
Maybe both do grow on trees.
OK, “toilet paper math dad,” what do you do with this? How does this calculate into your figuring? And does the average person actually need (or use) 20 squares? But I digress.
All right, what do you do with these wasted squares? Do you put them inside the next wipe, do you tear it off and drop it in the toilet so you have a nice neat edge for the next wipe, or do you tear it off and re-purpose it? Any other ideas you can think of?
Piss and Moan 