parenting | Piss and Moan

Effort less

Posted on December 7, 2022 by backuphill

I’ll preface the entire post with what I don’t want you to think. No, I haven’t misspelled the title. No, I don’t mean “effortless.” That meaning basically means that while doing something it takes little to no effort to complete said something. That’s not what I am referring to.

I am simply stating that I am going to give less effort.

I am going to effort less.

Think of it as not trying hard or giving fewer f*cks.

Think of it as minimal exertion.

I will do everything effort less from here on out.

At least for the foreseeable future, anyway.

Help those

Posted on December 6, 2022 by backuphill

Is the old saying, “Help those who can’t help themselves.” I have Googled it and several different versions or iterations come up for it.

I am tired.

Tired of helping those who nearly refuse to listen to reason and help themselves.

Once again, helping someone who has struggled all of their adult life, has a family, and continues to dream “pie in the sky” dreams even though the family would be homeless if not for the help of others.

“Get a full time job.” Good advice. Doesn’t matter what at this point and it really doesn’t matter how much it pays as long as it is brining in money that can be saved for the future and put to good use when the time comes. Instead, it is ignored for the idea that “starting my own business” is the better way to go – regardless of the fact that it has been pointed out time and time again that this goal should be a side gig until it can provide for the family on a full time basis. It has no benefits to start with. It has no healthcare. It is piecemeal at best for an income.

“Go visit Community Action to get some local ai started.” There is time in the day. Sure, the three youngest kids will have to be in tow to do it but it’s getting something started.

“Go visit DSHS. Get that process started.” Excuses about why it’s not possible at the moment.

This family has been living on state aid for years. This family has basically survived the last 7 months on pure charity from others, something to the tune (if roughly added together) would amount to probably about $40,000.

I am tired.

I am tired of helping someone that can’t or won’t help themselves.

Stocking stuffers

Posted on December 5, 2022 by backuphill

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Honestly, if you do stockings for Christmas, either for a spouse or children/grandchildren, how much do you spend? Do you have a budget for your stocking stuffing?

The things I am seeing advertised as “stocking stuffers” is kind of ridiculous, if you ask me.

Who buys a car for someone and drops the keys in a stocking?

Who buys a refrigerator at a stocking stuffer? (never mind the other implications of buying an appliance as a gift…)

Who spends hundreds of dollars to fill a stocking?

I know companies gotta sell their wares, but seriously do the people that write these commercials or the marketing department even consider that most people are working on a budget and can’t afford the lavish gifts they are pushing as stocking stuffers, let alone as a gift during the holidays.

People in the real world gotta work within a budget and I don’t think my budget has ever been above $50 per person ($60-70 if you include all the stocking stuff). That happened to be a pretty generous year as I ain’t made of money and isn’t typical at all.

Besides, Christmas isn’t about gifts anyway…well, at least it shouldn’t be ya dang heathens…

Total turmoil

Posted on October 28, 2022 by backuphill

If you have noticed that it’s been a little quiet around here…thanks for noticing. If you haven’t noticed, that’s fine too.

Baseball analogy time: Life around here has been in total turmoil as life seems to throw only curveballs, all the time, and I can’t hit them. It would be nice to have a fastball or a changeup, but instead it has just been a steady diet of curveballs.

Trying to keep up with the changes over the last year has been draining to say the least. The last month, month and a half, has been a blur.

I don’t mean to sound selfish, but I don’t wany any of it. I don’t mean to sound heartless or uncaring, but I am losing my ability to care.

I am tired of the constant family trials, difficulties, challenges.

Once again, life has gotten extremely uncomfortable. If you have been around here long, you are probably familiar with some of the things/people I have referred to in the past. Once again, the past issues are now current issues again.

It’s just…turmoil.

What choice?

Posted on August 11, 2022 by backuphill

Photo by u0412u0430u0440u0432u0430u0440u0430 u041au0443u0440u043eu0447u043au0438u043du0430 on Pexels.com

Choice #1 = crap; Choice #2 = bigger crap

There are a lot of situations in life where you just don’t feel like you have a choice. Of course, it is presented to you as though you have a choice in the matter but you know dang well after hearing “the choices” that there isn’t really a choice.

Don’t you just hate it when someone thinks they have a great idea and you just hate it but they tell you about it expecting you to think its a great idea too and then you have no choice but to go along with it because if you don’t then you know dang well you’ll catch hell for however long they decide you get to catch hell?

Why do I keep having this happen? Well, because someone in my life thinks they are helping someone else when all they are really doing is making things worse. Surprise!

Can’t win if you do (because the idea makes things more complicated and is potentially can make things worse) and I can’t win if I don’t (because someone thinks their idea is the best and telling them “No” will only make things worse in the relationship).

Rock || between || hard place

Don’t you just hate it…?

Law enforcement

Posted on June 7, 2022 by backuphill

Law enforcement, literally, can’t enforce the law when the laws are made to keep them from doing it. There’s an easy explanation for why driver’s aren’t stopping – because law enforcement can’t stop them.

Recently reported in WA state was that police have noticed a huge uptick in drivers who don’t stop for traffic stops. Actions speak louder than words, and in this case the action is that not stopping works most times because law enforcement can’t chase. The law has hand-cuffed them…

This is an easy correlation to make. There shouldn’t be any guessing about the reasons. It baffles me that people are puzzled over this. Tell criminals law enforcement can’t do their jobs, criminals will find ways to avoid consequences.

I am sure you have probably noticed in your town/city (or at least one close to you) that the homeless problem has increased exponentially. Now, the REASON those people have become homeless and STAY homeless is a whole other topic, But what isn’t debateable is that the laws concerning vagrancy, loitering, overnight camping, pan-handling, crime, drugs, etc., haven’t changed. However, all the bleeding hearts have basically told police to not enforce the laws or take a more “hands off” approach and there suddenly has become no (or little) consequence for all the litter, crime, camping, etc. Think there is a correlation to that?

Last year there was increase in rioting, looting, property destruction, etc. in Seattle. Why? Not able to enforce the law. Or, when it was attempted to be enforced they were told they were doing it wrong. Thus, the destruction and lawlessness increased.

John Adams once said that, “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious People. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” We have reached the amoral and irreligious times he was talking about. The lack of self-restraint and focus on entitlement has taken over. Morality has been turned on it’s head and is completely backwards now, purely because many believe they are more important so they have redefined words and morality to fit their needs. Gun crimes or gun violence is directly related to an immoral population. We are seeing and hearing about it every day.

Law enforcement can do nothing, will do nothing, if the people of the country can’t self-regulate themselves. Government will become more repressive as the self-regulation spins out of control. We are well on our way down this road. It isn’t a matter of if or when. It’s now.

The real question is how far will people let it get before they decide to change the direction, if at all.

Holding on

Posted on May 16, 2022 by backuphill

Been a little over a week since the last post. Since that post, it seems I’ve had to enter survival mode. That might be a bit of a dramatic statement, but that is definitely the way it feels.

So, the Celebration of Life mentioned in the last post was nice. Still hard to believe and the grieving process moves in waves. Just when you think you have gotten past it and moved on, something triggers it. Not so much for me, but others in the family. I wasn’t as close as some.

The gathering of family and friends from near and far created a an issue that some probably foresaw or at least could have been predicted. As such, there were lots of people around and one (at least that we know of) tested positive the day after the gathering. Obviously, that means lots of people from all different places we in close proximity and exposure was inevitable.

Two people in the house now have tested positive. I haven’t yet, though the evening after I tested negative I got the chills really bad. However, I am pretty positive I am now positive. Waiting on more tests to confirm that, but it seems a logical conclusion.

It’s now been two miserable days of discomfort. But, so far I can say that this equals probably the worst cold I have ever had. I had Mono back in college – it almost feels like that.

Anyway, that’s the latest update. Hunkered down, trying to rest, work from home, and stay hydrated.

Long Break

Posted on May 7, 2022 by backuphill

Photo by Serkan Gu00f6ktay on Pexels.com

It’s been a while since I have written anything. Almost two weeks. This post likely won’t be all that profound, so don’t get all excited. I am not sure when the next post will be after this, but there will be more. Just things to sort out.

Last week was one filled with bad news. Sudden, unexpected, tragic death in the family. Shock. Disbelief. All those sorts of words could be used. Probably lots more.

Vacation to Arizona had been planned for months. It was going to be a time of relaxing and family visiting. Earlier this week, we left for Arizona. Only the relaxing and family time has been upended with stress, grieving, and uncertainty. Family we were coming to see is now broken and trying to hold it together. There is much to do while here and there is no relief for the weary. To end it all with a Celebration of Life, well, let’s say this is the worst vacation ever.

I have been sick with the flu or a cold the last couple days. Trying to power through it wasn’t working, so today was a rest day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Anyway, an explanation for the absence.

Hug your loved ones.

You never know when the last time is, indeed, the last time.

Insane or stupid?

Posted on March 31, 2022 by backuphill

Or both?

Conversations recently have me wondering if there is a different between the two. This might not make a whole lot of sense since I won’t be giving all the details (or maybe it will), but it’s got me thinking way harder about the conversations than I probably need to. Sometimes I wonder why I even care.

Generally, people learn or at least have the capability to learn. Some people learn by doing the right thing and having success. Some people learn by doing the wrong thing and having results that are less than successful. Others simply learn by screwing up so badly that they have (seemingly) have no choice but to learn. In any of these three cases, learning is someting that is vital to making headway in life and is a the essence of moving forward with moderate success.

The traditional definition of stupid is easy to understand. We usually associate lack of common sense, intelligence, discernment, etc. with being stupid.

Can you become not stupid? I would like to think so. I believe that is where learning enters in. If you learn from the results of being stupid, you should in fact be less stupid because you would alter your behavior or choices or thinking or reasoning or actions or whatever in order to not repeat the same stupidity. If you didn’t have common sense before, mistakes (even if a made a couple times) should help you learn from them and eventually you should have…common sense, thus making wiser and smarter choices going forward.

But. BUT…there is always a but…

The traditional definition of insane is fairly easy to understand as well. However, there is another definition that sometimes gets referred to as the definition of insanity – “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” This definition has been attributed to Albert Einstein and Ben Franklin, though it appears that neither actually said it. However, for our little discussion today it fits rather nicely no matter who said it. If you continually do the same thing, the same actions, the same approach, think the same thoughts, and you don’t get a different result, then you must be insane. At least it seems that way. But are they really insane or just stupid?

Can you “unlearn” insanity? There may be a debate about that. I tend to lean towards, no, but then with treatment (and maybe drugs) I guess maybe that is something that can be unlearned. But that might not actually be learning so much as adjustment.

Can you “unlearn” stupidity? Most definitely.

So why are there so many people who refuse to unlearn their stupidity and just act like they are insane?

Conversations as of late make it difficult to tell the difference and certain perplex the hell out of me because it makes so much common sense to me, but they fail to see it.

Maybe I am the insane one…for continually hoping they unlearn their stupidity…

Line drawing

Posted on March 18, 2022 by backuphill

Some people have a pinchent for drama, for creating their own problems, for causing more trouble than they’re worth. Sometimes those people are family members, sometimes they are just friends or acquaintences.

In all seriousness, how do people live that way? You would think that it gets really old, really tiring. I know it does for everyone watching. Everyone who is watching the sh*tshow from afar. Everyone who is mouthing “WTF?” in their heads. Everyone throwing their arms up in silence as the comedy of errors repeats itself over and over and over again….

At what point do you draw the line for banging your head against a brick wall?

At what point do you stop talking yourself blue in the face because listening, understanding, and following through were just never learned or reinforced?

At what point do you wash your hands of the situation, the people, and just move on?

At what point do you stop cutting off your arm or any other appendage to help?

At what point do you stop bending over backwards to even make suggestions?

All rhetorical questions, but questions that have to be asked any time someone you love (or maybe just even yourself if you are reading this) goes through any of the above exercises. You hate to see people flounder, but at what point do you just draw the line and say, “I don’t care any more?”

Comedy of errors…you can’t help but just laugh at how ridiculous some people can be.

Guess I’ll just grab a beer, make some popcorn, and watch it all over again.