Not even

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You’ve probably heard this one:

“Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

It’s a great saying. I like it. I try to keep it in perspective when dealing with my personal and work life.

But there are a lot of people who seem to feel the opposite. Everything is an emergency, and it has to be taken care of right now! Like seriously, right now!

We see it all the time in the “Me” culture.

What’s more worrisome is that parents are allowing it or, worse, encouraging it. Children who have every need and want catered to when they are young, instead of having to earn it, work for it, struggle for it, are causing us to see it in society at large. What’s even worse is when two people in a house can’t agree how to handle “emergencies” when it comes to adult children and bad choices. As such, there are a lot of “emergencies” in my life that frustrate the hell outta me.

Anyway, seen a “Karen” lately?

Probably. Definitely can be attributed to the “Me” culture, but could it also be that we have conditioned ourselves to “everything’s an emergency”? As such, people expect to have their every need and want fixed right now.

Let me say, not even.

Karen, children, others…all need to hear that saying above WAY more often.

 

 

Want to?

Head in Hands

No, actually I don’t want to.

Adulting.

Being required to do things we don’t want to sucks.

No, I don’t want to wear a mask every fricking place I go.

No, I don’t want to follow stupid city and country rules about how to use my own property.

No, I don’t want to go your stupid trainings.

No, I don’t want to help the constantly needy and irresponsible kids, again.

No, I don’t want to mow the lawn.

No, I don’t want to pay stupid taxes so my money can be used by stupid people for stupid things.

No, I am not answering your stupid question(s).

No, I don’t want to pull weeds.

No, I am not going to do your job for you.

No, I don’t want to go to work.

No, I don’t want to share my food.

No, I don’t want to make you food.

No, I don’t want to exercise.

No, I don’t want to eat something other than pizza and burgers. And ice cream. And chocolate chip cookies. And popcorn.

No, I don’t want to see people. Or talk to them.

No, I don’t want to stop rolling my eyes every time you say something.

No, I don’t want to stop pointing out every time you do something stupid and then it bites you in the ass.

No, I don’t want to listen to your ideas.

No. I don’t want to.

No.

I just don’t want to.

Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone agree with anything listed above? Got a “No, don’t want to…” to add?

Tell me what you think or add another in the comments!

 

Loud and clear

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You ever feel like you are under-appreciated?

We just passed a holiday of sorts – Father’s Day.

I remembered my dads. I have three (dad and two FILs). It’s an easy thing to do, right? Talk to one, remember the others. Acknowledge them, appreciate them, take time out of your day to help them feel special for a moment. Doesn’t take a long time, but it is important.

Now, background here…I married into a lot of kids the second time around. Most of them adults by the time they came into my life. So now, including spouses of the kids who are married, there are eight.

Could of days ago, I heard from three.

That’s it. Three.

Didn’t hear a peep from 5 of the 8. There haven’t even been any “after the fact” acknowledgements either.

So, now full disclosure, you know the source of a LOT of the Piss and Moan material.

I try to deny the fact and ignore it, but there just isn’t any denying it.

Look, I realize they have another dad. I haven’t ever expected to be the top of the list. But at the very least acknowledged? Yes.

I am not looking for anything fancy, lord knows that most of them can’t afford crap (see other, numerous, posts about adult children living in our house or on our property). But it doesn’t take much to make someone feel appreciated, right?

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

 

Irrational

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Irrational makes me irritable.

Thus, I have been irritable for quite some time.

Most days, I’d rather talk with a brick wall than engage with humans who are irrational. Mostly because their inability to be rational makes them stupid.

Some days my irritability gets to me and I can’t do anything but throw my hands in the air and shake my head. The irrational are winning and it’s disheartening.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Pantry

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Working from home has created some issues…

The pantry is taunting me.

Like, seriously, it yells my name EVERY DAY and it wants me to constantly visit with it. Like I mean, it wants to snuggle and stuff. It’s weird, I know, but I can’t explain it any other way.

I try not to listen. I turn the music up. I have meetings. I blindfold myself.

But it is persistent.

It has scrumptious treats. They are salty. They are crunchy. They are sweet. They are spicy…

Resistance is nearly futile. I can’t escape it.

It calls me when I am working. It calls me when I am sleeping. It calls me when I am on the couch. It calls me even when I am out in the yard (it just yells louder…)

I have tried disconnecting my number but it still manages a way to get in touch.

It’s irritating really. But, oh so enticing too…

Wait, what?

Did you hear that? It’s calling again. I’ll go see what it wants now. If I am not back in 10 minutes, leave me alone. We’re snuggling again.

Level check

automobile automotive car control

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Loaded question…

How are you today?

Me? Thanks for asking.

Annoyance level is at high.

Like if your car had an Annoyance Level meter, it would be red-lined.

Not sure if some people will survive the day, particularly me. It can’t be healthy to hit your head repeatedly on a wall and not do some damage. But that’s what today feels like.

*sigh*

Tag-alongs

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Nope. I’m not talking about small, over-priced cookies distributed by your little local vested gang…

I am talking about family members (adult children, really) who don’t ever make any plans on their own, but just “tag-along” on the plans of others.

Birthday parties, Thanksgiving, Mother’s/Father’s Day, etc…never their own plans, always the question that comes one of two ways, “What are the plans?” or “What are you doing?”

Both of those questions are then followed up by the assumption that they are automatically invited to the event (even if it doesn’t really involve them) and don’t have to put in any effort into it. Sure, sometimes they offer to bring something minimal but most of the time they just show up and consume with little to no appreciation.

I have watched from afar and up close and personal, so here’s an example of which I speak:

Mother’s Day planning is done for an elderly mother. Plans are made, set, decided upon, and food is purchased for said get together. Planning has been done by the child of this mother BUT what soon follows is the children (the adult grandchildren of the elderly mother) of said mother doing the planning don’t plan anything for their own mom. Instead, the children just horn in on the plans for the grandmother – they don’t make any effort to plan anything for their own mother, other than just going to the gathering for the grandmother.

Does that make sense? I tried to explain that as clearly as possible, but I am not sure I did it successfully.

Anyway, this kind of tag-along thing happens all the time and, quite frankly, the mother needs to say something about it but doesn’t have the heart to speak up and tell the kids they need to do their own planning.

Of course, I can’t speak up either because that is a battle I can’t win no matter how I approach it. I am sure you can assume you know how that would all go over.

Irritating, really. And all I can do is sit back and watch it happen…

Unsolicited Advice? If you have are an adult child with parents who are still around, make your damn own plans! That might be challenging depending on family situations and timing, but the effort is noticed and appreciated. DON’T just tag-along (even if you are invited to). Grow up, be responsible, and truly appreciate your parents instead of just relying on them.

 

Ingratitude

horse laughing laughing horse

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Rampant.

What do you do when you feel as though your kindness and generosity are being taken advantage of? What do you do when there is a lack of gratitude from someone who should be extremely appreciative of the way you have bent over backwards for them?

I think most of us don’t do things for others because we want to be celebrated. I don’t think we do things for others because we are looking for publicity or because we want accolades. We do things for others because we see a need and want to meet it. For some of us, it’s in our nature. For others, well, we have to work at it on a regular basis.

But, how do you handle a situation where you stepped out of what your “normal” everyday life is like, to rearrange and disrupt your life for a while, to help someone out only to have them act in a way that shows little to no gratitude or actually appears they are taking advantage of the situation?

Yeah, strangers likely wouldn’t act this way.

Family? Family, on the other hand, usually does.

I found out last night that appearances aren’t what they seem and there has been some talking going on behind that back of some family members about other family members. Mind you, the secretive discussions are from those who are getting help (and desperately needed it at the time) about those who are giving the help (who saw the need and stepped in to help despite major misgivings).

Seems a bit shocking, doesn’t it? It actually doesn’t really surprise me. I mean it does, and it doesn’t. That has been the trend all along. Family bends over backwards to help other family members, only to find out that it cause issues inside the family and causes the ones helping to regret they helped.

Lessons learned? You would think so, but no. That’s the problem with having a generous, helping heart.

Ingratitude. Expectation. Greed. Under-appreciation. Irresponsibility.

It’s cliche, but that phrase “Looking a gift horse in the mouth” actually does mean something.

 

Listen

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It really sucks to see stuff happen to people.

But then again, there’s a reason the phrase “I told you so” often comes up in conversations after the fact. So, maybe it doesn’t suck. Dare I say it’s deserved?

It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone may (or may not have) ask for advice and you give it, and they ignore it. Then, almost as predictable as a fat kid near cake, what you predicted would happen happens and the only thing you can do is shake your head and bit your tongue as you think, “I told you so.”

When you ask someone with more life experience and they give you advice I would recommend you listen. Don’t just ask because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are looking for confirmation on the answer you want to hear. And if you don’t hear the answer you are looking for, certainly don’t go charging into the *insert problem/issue/dilemma/etc. here* without some serious other considerations. Ask more people. Sleep on it. Consider other options. Change course and see if something else will happen or something better comes about.

I hate being right.

No, actually, I don’t. I like being right.

Call me a jerk, if you want. But deep down, I know you like it too. And, secretly, we all like to be vindicated when we give advice and someone ignores it.

Are we bad people? No.

Should we celebrate in it? No. But we can secretly break our own arms patting ourselves on the back…go ahead and do it.

Feels nice, right?

At least that is better than sitting in public, pointing, and laughing. Of course, there may be a place for that too. But that’s a topic for another day.