Holding on

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Been a little over a week since the last post. Since that post, it seems I’ve had to enter survival mode. That might be a bit of a dramatic statement, but that is definitely the way it feels.

So, the Celebration of Life mentioned in the last post was nice. Still hard to believe and the grieving process moves in waves. Just when you think you have gotten past it and moved on, something triggers it. Not so much for me, but others in the family. I wasn’t as close as some.

The gathering of family and friends from near and far created a an issue that some probably foresaw or at least could have been predicted. As such, there were lots of people around and one (at least that we know of) tested positive the day after the gathering. Obviously, that means lots of people from all different places we in close proximity and exposure was inevitable.

Two people in the house now have tested positive. I haven’t yet, though the evening after I tested negative I got the chills really bad. However, I am pretty positive I am now positive. Waiting on more tests to confirm that, but it seems a logical conclusion.

It’s now been two miserable days of discomfort. But, so far I can say that this equals probably the worst cold I have ever had. I had Mono back in college – it almost feels like that.

Anyway, that’s the latest update. Hunkered down, trying to rest, work from home, and stay hydrated.

Long Break

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It’s been a while since I have written anything. Almost two weeks. This post likely won’t be all that profound, so don’t get all excited. I am not sure when the next post will be after this, but there will be more. Just things to sort out.

Last week was one filled with bad news. Sudden, unexpected, tragic death in the family. Shock. Disbelief. All those sorts of words could be used. Probably lots more.

Vacation to Arizona had been planned for months. It was going to be a time of relaxing and family visiting. Earlier this week, we left for Arizona. Only the relaxing and family time has been upended with stress, grieving, and uncertainty. Family we were coming to see is now broken and trying to hold it together. There is much to do while here and there is no relief for the weary. To end it all with a Celebration of Life, well, let’s say this is the worst vacation ever.

I have been sick with the flu or a cold the last couple days. Trying to power through it wasn’t working, so today was a rest day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Anyway, an explanation for the absence.

Hug your loved ones.

You never know when the last time is, indeed, the last time.

Insane or stupid?

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Or both?

Conversations recently have me wondering if there is a different between the two. This might not make a whole lot of sense since I won’t be giving all the details (or maybe it will), but it’s got me thinking way harder about the conversations than I probably need to. Sometimes I wonder why I even care.

Generally, people learn or at least have the capability to learn. Some people learn by doing the right thing and having success. Some people learn by doing the wrong thing and having results that are less than successful. Others simply learn by screwing up so badly that they have (seemingly) have no choice but to learn. In any of these three cases, learning is someting that is vital to making headway in life and is a the essence of moving forward with moderate success.

The traditional definition of stupid is easy to understand. We usually associate lack of common sense, intelligence, discernment, etc. with being stupid.

Can you become not stupid? I would like to think so. I believe that is where learning enters in. If you learn from the results of being stupid, you should in fact be less stupid because you would alter your behavior or choices or thinking or reasoning or actions or whatever in order to not repeat the same stupidity. If you didn’t have common sense before, mistakes (even if a made a couple times) should help you learn from them and eventually you should have…common sense, thus making wiser and smarter choices going forward.

But. BUT…there is always a but…

The traditional definition of insane is fairly easy to understand as well. However, there is another definition that sometimes gets referred to as the definition of insanity – “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” This definition has been attributed to Albert Einstein and Ben Franklin, though it appears that neither actually said it. However, for our little discussion today it fits rather nicely no matter who said it. If you continually do the same thing, the same actions, the same approach, think the same thoughts, and you don’t get a different result, then you must be insane. At least it seems that way. But are they really insane or just stupid?

Can you “unlearn” insanity? There may be a debate about that. I tend to lean towards, no, but then with treatment (and maybe drugs) I guess maybe that is something that can be unlearned. But that might not actually be learning so much as adjustment.

Can you “unlearn” stupidity? Most definitely.

So why are there so many people who refuse to unlearn their stupidity and just act like they are insane?

Conversations as of late make it difficult to tell the difference and certain perplex the hell out of me because it makes so much common sense to me, but they fail to see it.

Maybe I am the insane one…for continually hoping they unlearn their stupidity…

Line drawing

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Some people have a pinchent for drama, for creating their own problems, for causing more trouble than they’re worth. Sometimes those people are family members, sometimes they are just friends or acquaintences.

In all seriousness, how do people live that way? You would think that it gets really old, really tiring. I know it does for everyone watching. Everyone who is watching the sh*tshow from afar. Everyone who is mouthing “WTF?” in their heads. Everyone throwing their arms up in silence as the comedy of errors repeats itself over and over and over again….

At what point do you draw the line for banging your head against a brick wall?

At what point do you stop talking yourself blue in the face because listening, understanding, and following through were just never learned or reinforced?

At what point do you wash your hands of the situation, the people, and just move on?

At what point do you stop cutting off your arm or any other appendage to help?

At what point do you stop bending over backwards to even make suggestions?

All rhetorical questions, but questions that have to be asked any time someone you love (or maybe just even yourself if you are reading this) goes through any of the above exercises. You hate to see people flounder, but at what point do you just draw the line and say, “I don’t care any more?”

Comedy of errors…you can’t help but just laugh at how ridiculous some people can be.

Guess I’ll just grab a beer, make some popcorn, and watch it all over again.

On fire

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Anyone else feel like the world is on fire? Like, if you were to stand still for a moment and take a look around “everything” seems to be burning up, falling down, getting destroyed?

Look at the news – crap.

Look at health – crap.

Look at finances – crap.

Look at law and order – crap.

Look at the assault on freedom loving people – crap.

Look at the disregard for the Constitution – crap.

Look at safety – crap.

Look at spending and deficits – crap.

Look at the disintegration of infrastructure – crap.

Look at education – crap.

Look at younger generations – crap.

Look at entertainment (music, movies, tv, etc) – crap.

Look at leadership – crap.

Look at political leadership – totally crap.

Look at exploitation people, the environment, goverment – crap.

Look at the “social justice” being pushed – crap.

Look at the loss of moral ideology, leadership, fortitude, living – crap.

Look at….you name it and it’s probably crap too.

Everything has gone to crap, is on “fire” and any semblance of returning to “normal” is pure fiction. If you believe that anything will “go back to the way it was” you are lying to yourself and to everyone around you. It ain’t. It won’t. The hope of such return is gone.

“The good ol’ days” isn’t really a thing because everything has a different perception of what was “good” so we can’t really hope for something that people can’t agree on.

Anyway, anyone else feel this way? It’s been a bit overwhelming as of late and it really makes one consider moving to some place that has no contact with the outside world.

Unpleasant chores

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Call me Scrooge, I don’t care. “Bah-humbug,” I say.

Yesterday was the first dry day in a week. The temp also topped out at about 42 degrees. So, of course, the dreaded and despised task of putting up Christmas lights on the house and yard was required.

Ladders. Dead light strings. Hanger things (don’t know what else to call them). Cords everywhere.

Ugh.

It’s done, but I hate the fact that in about a month (probably when it is even colder) I’ll have to take down all that crap and put it away.

There is something about all seasonal d├ęcor that just irks me.

It’s fine for other people. I just could care less about it.

How do you feel about it? Which camp do you fall in – decorate till the cows come home OR Scrooge?

Shopping sales

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It seems Black Friday started at the beginning of October this year. I guess we are living, supposedly, in perpetual “Black Friday prices” land for the foreseeable future. Today is Cyber Monday and best I can tell they are just the Black Friday prices recycled. Anyone else feel that’s the way it’s been for the last several years?

Yes, I am paying attention to the sales, though I haven’t yet left the house to go to any…because, why? Why leave home for a sale when you can get the same thing online? “It’s for the experience.” LOL Been there and done that in my younger years. Wasn’t worth it. No one needs that experience. Besides, there isn’t anything that I want that bad.

Oops, did you catch that in the last sentence?

“…anything that I WANT that bad.”

Hence, the problem with shopping the sales this time of year. Anyone else have a hard time not shopping for themselves?

As I look through the various sales, I inevitably find things that I want – either have been looking at in the past and was waiting for a sale or it’s something completely random and I just WANT it.

I typically resist this urge, but at times it is difficult. This time of year sucks because the budget can only handle so much (even with planning) and then all of the sudden I find myself thinking, “It’s on sale? Sweet, just what I have been waiting for!” Half of my browsing is seeing things I want to buy or would buy if I was Christmas shopping.

Anyone else’s shopping dominated by thoughts about just buying stuff for yourself?

It’s a problem and I don’t like it. Not because I don’t have the money, but because my discipline is seriously eroding with each passing moment.

Hey, kid

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Your momma warned you back in the day. Don’t take candy from strangers, especially the guy that rolls up in a creepy looking van and entices a kid to get in by offering them a piece of candy. You remember that ol’, “Hey, kid, want a piece of candy?” thing, right?

Well, it seems the Democrats in New York essentially have become “that guy in the van.” This is beyond creepy.

Now that the shot is approved for kids 5-11, NY has taken to bribing children to get the shot. Right now, at least according to the article, it can happen at school with parent permission. I can only imagine that when not enough get vaccinated that way the Dems will find a way to remove the parental permission and just let kids decide for themselves. I mean, parental rights have been removed for other healthcare things so why stop for a shot?

Man, this just makes you feel dirty when you think about how the government is going after our kids.

Sure, there is some need for shots and there have been great advances but do you think this is going a little overboard? Actually bribing kids and making it attractive to get a shot when they can’t (in most cases) or won’t even brush their teeth, take a shower, brush their hair, or even wear deodorant?

Oh, but let’s just add one more thing for kids to bully, tease, and harass other students about. I can hear it now…”I got my shot. Did you get yours?”…”So and so doesn’t have the shot! Ewww, you’re do dirty!”…”I bought such and such with my shot money. What did you get?”…

The peer pressure will be immense and you know, without a doubt, that kids will be forging their parents’ names to get the $100.

Sorry, but this is almost criminal when you start thinking of the implications.

Really, really disturbing the Dems have done this route. But maybe I really shouldn’t be surprised, they are already bullying and threatening adults who don’t get the shot, so this is the next logical step.

The slippery slope is no longer a slope.

Tough conversations

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Anyone else tired of having tough conversations?

If you fall into the above category, would you just rather punch people in the throat instead?

Yeah, me too.

If you don’t fall into the above category, would you just rather punch people in the throat than have a conversation?

Yeah, me too.

The truth of the matter is that if you punch someone in the throat, having any conversation is just difficult for them and they just have to listen.

“Conversation had.”

Let’s move on.

Some days

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There is an old saying, “Some days you’re the bug and other days you’re the windshield.” Heard that one before?

Well, these days I am feeling more like the bug.

Life comes at your awful fast and there is just so much crap going on. The “windshields” of life are coming faster and more furious and avoiding them is getting harder and harder. Actually, avoiding them is next to impossible at this point. It seems I am bouncing from one to another…

Pleasing anyone and everyone seems to be impossible and there are people in my life that are supposed to be rooting for me who just aren’t. Instead, they have become the windshield and there is no pleasing them and no relief from their scrutiny or criticism. I can do nothing correct in their eyes.

It’s frustrating. It’s tiring. It’s relentless. It’s making me just want to hunker down and avoid everyone (more so than usual). The problem is I can’t avoid them since they are here, around me, all the time.

So, instead of just hiding, I stagger from failure to failure, always being told that I have yet again done something that doesn’t meet with approval or at expectation. Words of praise or acceptance? Absent. Non-existent.

Today is no different. Feeling defeated.