parenting

Communication

Posted on by backuphill

marketing office working business

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As a former teacher, and someone who still works in education, let me say this plainly to all the parents out there of school aged children:

IF YOUR CHILD’S (CHILDREN’S) DISTRICT, SCHOOL, OR TEACHER IS TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU, STOP TREATING IT LIKE IT IS SPAM OR A NUISANCE.

Listen, they are doing the best they can in the worst of circumstances. They don’t wanna be doing school this way. No one does. So, stop complaining and get on board!

Also, any time someone from the district or school is trying to communicate with you about your student(s), pay attention! They aren’t out there to waste your time”just because.” They are trying to make sure the most important person(s) in your life gets the best education possible.

Pay attention.

Engage.

Participate.

Take responsibility for what you can do on your end.

Hold your student accountable – for everything! That means grades, participation, attendance, homework, communication, learning, exploring, etc.

Most of all, hold yourself accountable too! When you participate in your student’s education, your students will be better off in the long run.

Want your student, your child, to have a better life than you had?

Stop making excuses for everything and make sure they get an education.

17+1

Posted on by backuphill

group of people making toast

NOT MY FAMILY – Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

I took the day off yesterday, from work and blogging.

Family is in town from out of town, so yesterday was when everyone could get together at the same time.

It was actually kind of a big deal, since most of the time people are uncooperative and typically chaos ensues as the planning and execution of said plans happens.

So, 17+1 all managed to make it to another  part of the state and gather in a sort of “family reunion” type gathering. 17+1? Well, there were 17 people, plus one on the way.

Family? My wife and I, our combined 6 children, 2 of their spouses and a significant other, and 6 grandchildren (plus the one on the way).

Picnic lunch, visiting shops and stores amid a pandemic and ridiculous restrictions, ice creams stops, and lots of driving (about 6 hours round trip). So, as you can imagine, there are always a bit of wrangling issues when you have people in your group from ages of 53 to 2. But, for the most part, it was a memorable time.

Granted, these are the people that a large portion of the topics here on the blog deal with, but yesterday they were all exempt. Genuine effort by all made for a day that was mostly pleasant.

So, today, while I don’t feel like Pissing and Moaning, I guess I’ll just be appreciative.

Grow up

Posted on by backuphill

blue white ribbon on pink box

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It never ceases to amaze me at how adult family members can be so immature, especially family members who are in their late 50’s.

A few details about my BNL. Single. Lives alone. Makes great money as a machinist in a local shop. Like to talk about himself, but that mostly includes his cats and his job (which he talks in technical jargon so no one can understand what he is talking about). Is a bit out there in ideology, but not extremist by any means. Likes rocks, gems, and nature photography.

Now, he always shows up at holiday celebrations. Rarely shows up for birthday celebrations, other than for his parents. Always comes to consume, but almost never contributes. Never participates in planning get-togethers and never shares in the expense, even though he will show up for them. When asked to bring something, he feigns not knowing what to bring, and if he is asked to bring something specifically it is never enough for size of the gathering.

Over the weekend, my FNL had his 80th birthday. His daughters (even one from out of town) planned the gathering and provided nearly everything for it. BNL showed up before the gathering and didn’t help with setup, tried to carry on conversations while we were setting up (as in, watched while we worked), didn’t offer to help, didn’t offer to help with expenses, nothing. But he made sure he was next to first in line for food. The only thing he actually did, or offered for the whole thing….he picked up some folding chairs at the end. Otherwise, he was busy hiding in the house and doing other things.

Time for someone to grow up and not think of themselves? Yeah, pretty much. Why do none of his siblings say anything to him about it? I have no clue.

Maybe there is history I don’t know about, but I am pretty sure he would have already told me if I stood there to listen to him long enough.

Irritating, you know?

Once again

Posted on by backuphill

uyuni salt flat

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I don’t know why I bother, because I am going to be ignored either way.

Advice.

Why ask for it if you are going to completely ignore it?

Family. I tell ya.

Kids. *shakes head* Damn, kids.

When they ask for advice, they don’t really want advice. They just want validation for their own thoughts and opinions, and if you don’t give them what they want then they discount your advice and do what they wanted to do in the first place.

Gets old, ya know?

 

Not even

Posted on by backuphill

red and yellow stop sticker

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You’ve probably heard this one:

“Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

It’s a great saying. I like it. I try to keep it in perspective when dealing with my personal and work life.

But there are a lot of people who seem to feel the opposite. Everything is an emergency, and it has to be taken care of right now! Like seriously, right now!

We see it all the time in the “Me” culture.

What’s more worrisome is that parents are allowing it or, worse, encouraging it. Children who have every need and want catered to when they are young, instead of having to earn it, work for it, struggle for it, are causing us to see it in society at large. What’s even worse is when two people in a house can’t agree how to handle “emergencies” when it comes to adult children and bad choices. As such, there are a lot of “emergencies” in my life that frustrate the hell outta me.

Anyway, seen a “Karen” lately?

Probably. Definitely can be attributed to the “Me” culture, but could it also be that we have conditioned ourselves to “everything’s an emergency”? As such, people expect to have their every need and want fixed right now.

Let me say, not even.

Karen, children, others…all need to hear that saying above WAY more often.

 

 

Want to?

Posted on by backuphill

Head in Hands

No, actually I don’t want to.

Adulting.

Being required to do things we don’t want to sucks.

No, I don’t want to wear a mask every fricking place I go.

No, I don’t want to follow stupid city and country rules about how to use my own property.

No, I don’t want to go your stupid trainings.

No, I don’t want to help the constantly needy and irresponsible kids, again.

No, I don’t want to mow the lawn.

No, I don’t want to pay stupid taxes so my money can be used by stupid people for stupid things.

No, I am not answering your stupid question(s).

No, I don’t want to pull weeds.

No, I am not going to do your job for you.

No, I don’t want to go to work.

No, I don’t want to share my food.

No, I don’t want to make you food.

No, I don’t want to exercise.

No, I don’t want to eat something other than pizza and burgers. And ice cream. And chocolate chip cookies. And popcorn.

No, I don’t want to see people. Or talk to them.

No, I don’t want to stop rolling my eyes every time you say something.

No, I don’t want to stop pointing out every time you do something stupid and then it bites you in the ass.

No, I don’t want to listen to your ideas.

No. I don’t want to.

No.

I just don’t want to.

Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone agree with anything listed above? Got a “No, don’t want to…” to add?

Tell me what you think or add another in the comments!

 

Loud and clear

Posted on by backuphill

sunset love lake resort

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You ever feel like you are under-appreciated?

We just passed a holiday of sorts – Father’s Day.

I remembered my dads. I have three (dad and two FILs). It’s an easy thing to do, right? Talk to one, remember the others. Acknowledge them, appreciate them, take time out of your day to help them feel special for a moment. Doesn’t take a long time, but it is important.

Now, background here…I married into a lot of kids the second time around. Most of them adults by the time they came into my life. So now, including spouses of the kids who are married, there are eight.

Could of days ago, I heard from three.

That’s it. Three.

Didn’t hear a peep from 5 of the 8. There haven’t even been any “after the fact” acknowledgements either.

So, now full disclosure, you know the source of a LOT of the Piss and Moan material.

I try to deny the fact and ignore it, but there just isn’t any denying it.

Look, I realize they have another dad. I haven’t ever expected to be the top of the list. But at the very least acknowledged? Yes.

I am not looking for anything fancy, lord knows that most of them can’t afford crap (see other, numerous, posts about adult children living in our house or on our property). But it doesn’t take much to make someone feel appreciated, right?

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

 

Irrational

Posted on by backuphill

grayscale photo of brickwall

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Irrational makes me irritable.

Thus, I have been irritable for quite some time.

Most days, I’d rather talk with a brick wall than engage with humans who are irrational. Mostly because their inability to be rational makes them stupid.

Some days my irritability gets to me and I can’t do anything but throw my hands in the air and shake my head. The irrational are winning and it’s disheartening.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Pantry

Posted on by backuphill

silver display shelf on brown sectional table

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Working from home has created some issues…

The pantry is taunting me.

Like, seriously, it yells my name EVERY DAY and it wants me to constantly visit with it. Like I mean, it wants to snuggle and stuff. It’s weird, I know, but I can’t explain it any other way.

I try not to listen. I turn the music up. I have meetings. I blindfold myself.

But it is persistent.

It has scrumptious treats. They are salty. They are crunchy. They are sweet. They are spicy…

Resistance is nearly futile. I can’t escape it.

It calls me when I am working. It calls me when I am sleeping. It calls me when I am on the couch. It calls me even when I am out in the yard (it just yells louder…)

I have tried disconnecting my number but it still manages a way to get in touch.

It’s irritating really. But, oh so enticing too…

Wait, what?

Did you hear that? It’s calling again. I’ll go see what it wants now. If I am not back in 10 minutes, leave me alone. We’re snuggling again.