Unnecessary apology #5

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Kinda late with this one today, but I was busy…

Once again I am here to humbly ask your forgiveness. Once again I am sure I have offended and disappointed someone out there, so let me issue this unnecessary apology just so I can cover all my bases in all instances from now until the end of time.

I bathed. Yes, I took a bath. It was a full bath tub and I actually enjoyed it.

Sorry if that makes you mad. Sorry if that makes me “less manly” or “more feminine.”

I didn’t take it to get clean. I took it to relax. I took it because it was time to be alone and in the quiet. Call it “self-care,” whatever the heck that is.

But, here’s the thing, and I am sure there is the part that will really rile some environmentalist or climate change activest’s feathers…

…the bath tub was FULL! And, it was full with HOT water!

Like, I put as much hot water in there as possible without making it spill over the edge as I lowered my body in.

What a waste, right? Too much water and too much energy was used. I am such a bad, horrible, irresponsible person.

I am sure there are poor thirsty people somewhere in the world where I could have sent all that water. Probably some farm or garden or some dried up lake/stream that supports a lower life form that could have used that water.

What’s that you say? Oh, sorry, I had my head underwater. I couldn’t hear your protests…

Not sorry, sorry.

Unnecessary apology #4

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It was the 80s. What can I say? We all did things back then that we probably look back and cringe with disdain. 1986 was the transistion year between middle school and high school. It was awkward. Despite being fitting for the time, I look back at my former self and realize now that if I judge myself through the current “progressive” lens (even though I am not) that I really should be ashamed of myself. So, today’s unnecessary apology goes out to…

Egyptians.

Yes, Egyptians.

Why? Well, if you knew then what you know now, then today that the little dance you did in your bedroom or lockeroom or living room or bar would be prohibited. Why? Because of some kind of appropriation. I am not sure if it would be cultural or national or something else, but it is just so regretable now.

I am guilty. I am guilty of walking like an Egyptian.

Therefore, though I am not sure I really need to, I want to apologize to all the Egyptians (past, present, and into perpetuity) for doing this silly act.

I was young. I was impressionable.

I blame it on the Bangles. Their “Walk like an Egyptian” song is totally at fault. It was just such a catchy little tune. And, hey, if my silly and awkward movements might have caught Susanna Hoff’s attention somehow, well, that would have been just awesome.

So, yeah, sorry about that, Egyptians.

Just try not to get your groove (and appropriation) on when listening…

Unnecessary apology #2

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I don’t know if there is a term for this, but I probably have to apologize to someone, somewhere for it. Maybe the apology is owed to the young for being patronizing or maybe it is to the older folks for stooping so low as to “not act my age.”

So, today, I apologize to whomever needs to hear it – young or old.

I am sorry for talking like a baby (or very small child) to a baby.

Again, I have to admit it, but it comes as a rather natural reaction to revert back to this way of communication when someone small is involved. I just can’t help myself. The “goo-goo, ga-ga’s” just kind of fall out of my head. Is baby talk natural? It must be because we all tend to do it…and I don’t even really like babies all that much.

I find that I hate myself a little more after having regressed back to infantile language skills, but for whatever reason it seems to work in my meager attempt at communication to elicit a smile from the newly present humans.

So, please, small human, accept this unnecessary apology.

Unnecessary apology #1

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I’m sorry. I did it inadvertently. It was just a knee-jerk reaction.

During this month of honoring women, I want to apologize to all women.

I have been or am guilty of gender appropriation.

You see, when I have climbed under the house to access a dark, dank, and mildy creepy crawl space I have at times “screamed like a woman.”

I know, I know. I am not proud of it.

I shouldn’t do it because I am a man and things like this shouldn’t faze me.

To be honest, spiders don’t really freak me out. BUT, in the context of being in a dark, confined space and feeling the creepy crawlies on the back of your neck or by your ear, well, that is just going to get a reaction most guys aren’t proud of.

Please, accept by sincerest apologies for oppressing you by appropriating your screams.

I’ll do better.

**There will be more posts in a new series I am going to call, Unnecessary Apology. Keep an eye out for them and let me know if you agree or not.**

Ballot harvesting

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There appears to be a new tactic in the voting arena and the underlying motive would seem to be ballot harvesting.

I gotta say this is a bit disturbing as this would essentially require someone to register to vote. Now, I am all for voting and have never missed a vote that I can remember. However, voting is a right guaranteed to every American citizen not a requirement of every American citizen. Making it a requirement, in my estimation, practically compels someone to “speak”, which would be a Constitutional violation as there are protections against such a thing.

If you haven’t yet read the article but had to guess which party is sponsoring such a preposterous proposal, which do you suppose it would be? If you guessed Democrats, you’d be correct.

If you have have been paying attention, you might recall that Democrats/liberals have suddenly gotten real good at and have promoted endlessly the ability to “harvest ballots.” Now, in my state, they aim to make it easier to ballot harvest by requiring all eligible people to register to vote, have a ballot mailed to all those people, and then collect them from anyone who has completed their civic duty (or possible even the ones who haven’t). At the very least, it would provide a list of people who haven’t yet submitted a completed ballot and allow for them to pursue said ballot by visiting the home of the recipient.

“Hi, I’m Joe Blow from the Democratic party. Records show you haven’t yet submitted the voting ballot sent to you a week ago. I was here to see if you have completed it and if I could offer to deliver it for you….oh, you haven’t yet filled it it? OK, well, I am willing to wait if you’d like to do it now and then I could take it when you’re done…oh, you don’t know much about what is on the ballot? I could certainly offer some advice, if you’d like…”

Pressure.

I am sure you can probably imagine the numerous scenarios for which something like the above would take place. The problem with the who process is that it opens the potential for election security problems and that, despite what some will argue is not happening, is of serious concern and should be prevented.

Conspiracy theorist? Maybe.

Cautionary tale? Perhaps.

Completely pessimistic and skepitcal of motivations? Winner, winner chicken dinner!

Requiring someone to register is just bad. It isn’t how the democratic process works and shouldn’t even be considered.

What do you think? Am I off base on this?

Weather balloon

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I don’t want to BLOW this out of proportion, but the story keeps EXPANDING. I think there are plenty of places to POKE HOLES in this story.

The Chinese, snickering to themselves, say it is a weather balloon and there is nothing to worry about.

Uh huh, sure it is. I don’t want to BURST their…balloon, but I am pretty sure no one is buying it.

What do you think? Does their story HOLD AIR?

Debt limit

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Time to tighten the belt.

Time to hunker down and make some painful adjustments.

Time for the government to live within it’s means and stop the unlimited spending.

You may have caught the article today saying the US will reach it’s debt limit and default by the end of next week, unless there is (again) a move to increase the limit. Every time this comes up, the debt limit is negotiated up…now sitting at $31 trillion.

Sorry, but you can’t have unlimited spending. You just can’t. Personal budgets don’t work that way. Company/business budgets don’t work that way. You can’t spend more and not cut it from somewhere else. That’s just not how it works. But, the government seems to think that’s they way to do it (especially one party, but both are guilty).

Time to stop assisting in places of the world that should take care of itself. Sure, I understand the goodwill generated by the international assistance fund, but we can’t afford it.

Time to stop paying for illegal immigrants to stay in the country.

Time to stop paying for every social “justice” fad that comes along.

Time to stop filling the budget with “pork“.

This doesn’t mean that increasing taxes is the answer either. Spend less, collect less. Collect only what is necessary.

Unfortunately, this isn’t something the politicians seem to understand.

Prisoner swap

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The “big news” over the last couple days has been that some basketball “star” being held in Russia on drug charges was released in a prisoner swap for a convicted Russian arms dealer. I don’t believe she should have been released and she should have served the time. I REALLY don’t believe there should have been a prisoner swap, at least not her.

Quite frankly, I have heard that in the past she hasn’t really appreciated all the blessings she has as an American and was maybe taking that for granted. I don’t know, really, if that is true. But if it is true….well, let’s hope she has a hell of a lot more appreciation for her country now.

As Americans, I don’t think we undeerstand how great we have it till it’s gone. Unfortunately, we have quite a few people within our own country trying to take away our (and their own) freedoms.

Makes zero sense.

Falling back fail

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So, looks like the House of Representatives are going to yet again fail to represent…not sure how there can be much debate about NOT changing the time back an hour. Really? The Senate unanimously agreed (something they NEVER do) to this Sunshine Protection Act and sent the bill to the House. Why have they failed to get this done?

Hey, Congress! Make this Daylight Savings thing permanent! Get your acts together and do it!

Honestly, there really is nothing to debate here. Most experts and the general public agree that DST is the best way and should stay. How can there still be an argument against this change?

A “do nothing Congress”? Typical.

Do something for once that benefits more than one political party – the one in charge at the moment – and start representing!

American demand it.

Single issue

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While watching a couple hours of TV last night I was struck by the type and tenor of the commercials. In about two hours of watching Hulu I saw roughly 13 commercials and 8 of them were political ads. Those political ads were all from Democrats running for office (incumbents and challengers) in the upcoming vote. All 8 ads mentioned a single issue – the “right” to kill babies.

Democrats are so scared of losing this election that they are focused singularly on one issue that is an emotional hot button topic, but really irrelevant to most voters right now. Its like their platform has a single, tired plank.

Other issues in this election? NOPE. Gonna focus on the need to kill babies all the time, any time, because that’s what the people need right now. Not national or local security. Not illegal immigration. Not the explosion of drugs. Not the poor education of our kids. Not the high prices of everything that makes having a budget difficult. Not the homeless. Not the infrastructure. Not the high cost of health care. Not corruption in and of the government. Just killing babies.

Anyone else find this interesting?