bathroom

A bladder the size of a walnut

Posted on by backuphill

white ceramic male toilet

Photo by Markus Spiske temporausch.com on Pexels.com

OK, so this getting old thing is getting old.

Is it a requirement that as you get older bladder gets smaller? I swear it must be.

I used to be like a damn camel when it came to holding my…water. Now I might go to the bathroom 3 times a night (sometimes not at all) and during the day, well let’s just say I might be wearing a path in the carpet at work from my cubi-cell to the bathroom. There are times where I find myself turning into the 8 year old I used to be and doing the “bathroom dance” because I am in the middle of something and don’t want to stop yet.

Yes, I drink a lot of coffee. Why wouldn’t I? Yes, I know it is a diuretic and it will cause me to pee a lot. But seriously, one cup could cause me to take four trips to the bathroom! LOL I think the problem here is my bladder has gotten smaller. That has to be it.

My love/hate relationship with toilet paper

Posted on by backuphill

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What to do…what to do…well, this blog is going in the toilet…

The picture above was from a recent trip to the men’s room at work. Yes, I needed to “cop a squat” and empty the main tank. There were so many choices for toilet paper that it was a little overwhelming. However, there wasn’t really a choice because they all were of the same relative quality, which got me to thinking about my love/hate relationship with TP.

It’s too thin. It’s too thick. There is not enough on the roll (or worse, there are no rolls at all). The roll is too big to fit in the dispenser. Use too much and you plug the toilet. Use too little and you’re sporting a brown racing stripe in the undies. Sometimes protects the fingers and other times you’re using TP to wipe the fingers before your next wipe on the rear end.

At least one of these problems occurs during each visit to “the can” and you *literally* sit there fuming. So why is that we can’t figure out an alternative to this stuff? Yes, there are “adult wipes” but they plug the toilets or sewer systems. There are bidets, but that hasn’t caught on in the US and I am still not sure what you are supposed to do about a wet ass…(as you can tell, I have never been presented with this option).

Anyone else feel me on this love/hate relationship? What do you think is the solution?

Seriously, guys, why so slobbish?

Posted on by backuphill

white ceramic male toilet

Photo by Markus Spiske freeforcommercialuse.net on Pexels.com

I am going to go out on a generalization limb here…guys are freaking slobs (moan).

I know, there is something weird about me saying that since I am one but I don’t think I am a slob and I think my wife would agree if you asked her. I pick up after myself. I put stuff away, where I found it. I clean. Maybe, I am the oddity?

Anyway, my place of employment shares a building with another organization and I can safely say that the guys in the other organization are freaking slobs. I can safely say that because my company only has three males at this location and two of them are on vacation – leaving me as the only guy in the building that doesn’t belong to the people upstairs.

That being said, guys, if you can’t aim that “waste disposal tube” at the urinal and get every drop in there – then sit the hell down! Why do guys have such a hard time with this? At work, at the ballpark, at a restaurant, in a Honeybucket, you name it and there is likely piss all over the place…the edge of the urinal, the wall, the floor…every. freaking.where. Seriously? Get a grip, and I mean that quite literally.

black and white vanity top with stainless steel faucet

Photo by ato de on Pexels.com

So you move from one gross mess to the next. After leaving the “splash-o-rama urinal,” you turn around to wash your hands and it looks like a baby elephant just took a freaking bath in the sink. There is water everywhere and its puddled up all over the counter! #WTH  Did any water actually make it back in the sink? Good grief people! Clean up after yourselves.

Seriously, you guys are gross.

*Pictures are not from my actual building because that would be gross, and why would I make you guys put up with that too?*