discomfort | Piss and Moan

Dreaded place

Posted on December 20, 2022 by backuphill

Tomorrow I start vacation until after the first of the new year. Only, in will feel very little like a vacation since my duties will be trying to keep the house from being destroyed and small children in line.

There will be screaming from them and their parent – during the whole day, and sometimes even at night.

There will be endless cleaning up after people.

There will be a constant watchful eye on everything that is done because one is never sure if it will lead to disaster.

Truthfully, home is a dreaded place.

I know I could cancel my vacation days and just work and take them at another time next year, but I have told too many people what is coming and now not taking them will cause problems.

So, for the two weeks I will look for opportunities to hide, in the house and by leaving the house.

The worst bed

Posted on March 1, 2021 by backuphill

I’ve done it folks! I think I have discovered the worst bed in Arizona.

This trip to Arizona hasn’t exactly been a relaxing one. As you may have read in a recent post, dividing time between two parts of your family who haven’t seen you (in person) for at least a year is a challenge to say the least. On top of that, they both want you to stay with them so they get a little time with you while the other part of the family isn’t around.

We started out at my sister-in-law’s house. Big, spacious, and pretty much a space that was just for us in the downstairs portion of the house. All the amenities and most importantly, a bed that was comfortable. Sure, it wasn’t home, but it was at least as good as a hotel.

Now, we are at my in-laws and they have a hide-a-bed to sleep on. This is the first time I have been to their place since they moved down here so I didn’t know what was in store for me. When I walked into the room and saw it folded out I knew I was in trouble. I could already see from the mattress that there was a curve in it and “the middle” would become a dreaded sleeping space. There isn’t the usual bar to sleep on, so there is that. But, the bed is too soft and the pillows too flat. It is killing my back and my neck. The neck issues I am having are now only amplified, which means ibuprofen every day and an unplanned trip to the chiropractor when I get home.

Sleep has been tough to come by.

So, if ever in AZ, don’t stay at my in-laws. You have been duly warned.

Pooped

Posted on November 13, 2020 by backuphill

Maybe this falls into the TMI category, maybe it doesn’t. I am sure the male readers in the group can probably attest to something of a similar experience, and if nothing else it might provide for a little comedic reading.

So, I am an early morning pooper.

I really prefer to get to my squatting done before my shower. I mean, that way I can head into the day with a freshly clean keister and don’t have to worry about unintentional stankiness (at least for the first part of the day).

So, typically the day begins after crawling outta bed with a squat on the porcelain throne. The amount of time can vary, but usually the business is done in 15-20 minutes and then I can proceed to the shower.

Today, I spent my usual time on the commode and then proceeded to hop into the shower. Not 10 minutes later, I am getting the painful feeling that I need to cop-a-squat again. Now I am feeling those gaseous pains and squeezing the cheeks together hoping that I am not gonna drop a package in the shower. Thankfully, it subsided briefly and I was able to finish my shower.

After getting outta the shower, no pressing feeling to visit the “thinking throne” is persisting so I am thinking I am gonna be able to start the day as usual. I get dressed and make coffee.

HELLO! I am reminded that the gas has not passed and either I am gonna have to do the penguin waddle to the water closet or find something to lean up against and endure the sharp pain in the middle region again. I wait because no waddle will happen without an accident. After the gurgling stops and the pain is tempered, I quickly head for the pooper.

Wait…the gas pains have returned, literally just before the pants come down and I am left staring at the crapper whilst I grimace through the next wave of internal chaos. WTH! Literally a foot from the squatter and I can’t use it….yet…

I am not sure why decided to turn my bowels into a problematic mess that required multiple visits to the porcelain bowl. Either way, that last trip seemed to do the trick. The main tank has been completely emptied.

I still would have liked to done it the first time and not had to put on pants feeling “unclean.”

There ya go! A little Friday the 13th potty humor/giggle/TMI for you.

Anyone else have similar experiences or habits?