Loud and clear

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You ever feel like you are under-appreciated?

We just passed a holiday of sorts – Father’s Day.

I remembered my dads. I have three (dad and two FILs). It’s an easy thing to do, right? Talk to one, remember the others. Acknowledge them, appreciate them, take time out of your day to help them feel special for a moment. Doesn’t take a long time, but it is important.

Now, background here…I married into a lot of kids the second time around. Most of them adults by the time they came into my life. So now, including spouses of the kids who are married, there are eight.

Could of days ago, I heard from three.

That’s it. Three.

Didn’t hear a peep from 5 of the 8. There haven’t even been any “after the fact” acknowledgements either.

So, now full disclosure, you know the source of a LOT of the Piss and Moan material.

I try to deny the fact and ignore it, but there just isn’t any denying it.

Look, I realize they have another dad. I haven’t ever expected to be the top of the list. But at the very least acknowledged? Yes.

I am not looking for anything fancy, lord knows that most of them can’t afford crap (see other, numerous, posts about adult children living in our house or on our property). But it doesn’t take much to make someone feel appreciated, right?

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

 

Tag-alongs

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Nope. I’m not talking about small, over-priced cookies distributed by your little local vested gang…

I am talking about family members (adult children, really) who don’t ever make any plans on their own, but just “tag-along” on the plans of others.

Birthday parties, Thanksgiving, Mother’s/Father’s Day, etc…never their own plans, always the question that comes one of two ways, “What are the plans?” or “What are you doing?”

Both of those questions are then followed up by the assumption that they are automatically invited to the event (even if it doesn’t really involve them) and don’t have to put in any effort into it. Sure, sometimes they offer to bring something minimal but most of the time they just show up and consume with little to no appreciation.

I have watched from afar and up close and personal, so here’s an example of which I speak:

Mother’s Day planning is done for an elderly mother. Plans are made, set, decided upon, and food is purchased for said get together. Planning has been done by the child of this mother BUT what soon follows is the children (the adult grandchildren of the elderly mother) of said mother doing the planning don’t plan anything for their own mom. Instead, the children just horn in on the plans for the grandmother – they don’t make any effort to plan anything for their own mother, other than just going to the gathering for the grandmother.

Does that make sense? I tried to explain that as clearly as possible, but I am not sure I did it successfully.

Anyway, this kind of tag-along thing happens all the time and, quite frankly, the mother needs to say something about it but doesn’t have the heart to speak up and tell the kids they need to do their own planning.

Of course, I can’t speak up either because that is a battle I can’t win no matter how I approach it. I am sure you can assume you know how that would all go over.

Irritating, really. And all I can do is sit back and watch it happen…

Unsolicited Advice? If you have are an adult child with parents who are still around, make your damn own plans! That might be challenging depending on family situations and timing, but the effort is noticed and appreciated. DON’T just tag-along (even if you are invited to). Grow up, be responsible, and truly appreciate your parents instead of just relying on them.

 

Extra effort

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So, I have a colleague that likes to take the extra effort to prove herself correct.

Well, “correct” is actually subjective in this case because there are always different ways to go about things in software. Another one of those weird cliche sayings, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Anyway, she didn’t like that someone other than her had found another way in the software to do something we all thought wasn’t possible at first. She found the first solution and she crowed loudly. As we began to dig in, another colleague and I found another way to do it and when we brought that to the attention of everyone on the team she protested that it wasn’t a viable way to do it.

Well, she now has spent all weekend (unpaid time) to prove that she was correct, to a degree. That her method was the bet way and there really shouldn’t be any other method used.

OK, whatever.

I’m not going to get into it. You can have your silly little victory, but we all know there is more than one way to do it. My ego isn’t that big that I have to be right.

Anyone else have a co-worker that is like this? Has to be right at all costs, doesn’t like it when you show them there are alternative ways to do things?

Isn’t worth the trouble

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Some things in life just aren’t worth it. Surprisingly, there are actually some foods that just aren’t worth it, which is weird to say because I am kind of a professional eater – I’ve been doing it since I was little.

One food that is a real pain in the rear to eat is an orange. I’ve known this for a long time but I thought I would give it another try. I mean, they’re sweet and they’re juicy so that makes them really tempting. But, I tell you, as soon as I started peeling the dang thing I instantly regretted starting. Now it’s leaking juice all over my hands and I’m getting stick and my hands are wet and the peel is just not coming off easily…Oh, I prevailed and ate the dang thing, but I had to have a co-worker lock my computer so I could go wash up after seemingly taking a bath in orange juice. Then it hit me – the peel on an orange just doesn’t make trying to enjoy the fruit enjoyable. So, CONFIRMED, an orange isn’t worth the trouble.

Another food that isn’t worth the trouble? Crab. Good grief you need a damn tool to even access the minuscule amount of meat housed inside that ocean floor scrounger. I don’t even really like crab (it eats garbage off the ocean floor) so the work required for minimal reward just isn’t worth the trouble. I think you can probably put lobster and shrimp in the same category. CONFIRMED.

If you have to work to eat it, it just isn’t worth it. Plain and simple.

What do you think? Are there any other foods that just aren’t worth the trouble because they require too much work before you get to enjoy it?

 

Choices vs. Choices

There are days were choices are just hard. It’s always this versus that. Me versus them. Us versus them. Me versus that.

So today, the choices seemed harder than most days:

Get up, work out, have a fabulous body (some day, because it isn’t right now).

OR

Stay in the warm, comfy bed and sleep more.

Effort and exertion versus rest, comfort, and warmth.

Dang it.

Fine.

I got up.

But I hated it.

Stupid choices.

Why can’t we just have both?

Choices suck.