Host

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What do you do? How do you handle the situation?

So, one of the adult children wants to have their children’s (our grandchildren) birthday party at our house. They asked if that could happen at the end of the month.

Sounds simple, right? Sure, go ahead! We love you. We love them. No problem!

But there is history. There is always history.

They have done this once before. Asked if they could use the house and yard for a birthday party and we said that was fine. Very little communication with them between the ask and the event.

Day of the event comes and we find out it is a four hour “open house” where people can just drop in and hang out. 40 people show up (not including family and many of whom we don’t know) at various times during this open house. The kids, on a very limited budget, didn’t plan or budget for said party. They didn’t have enough supplies for said party. They didn’t have enough food for said party. They had no alternative plans for said party if the weather was crappy that day. They didn’t stick around long after the open house was over to clean up.

Guess who picked up all the slack, both in time and expense? I guess you don’t need to guess since you know it was us.

So, what do you do this time when they ask? Just let them do it, no questions asked? Or, do you put limitations on it? Do you set expectations, or do you just go with the flow?

Loaded questions, because you know how I would handle it (at least you should by now). But, the other person in the house doesn’t think it should be handled that way.

What is reasonable, logical, and practical?

17+1

group of people making toast

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I took the day off yesterday, from and blogging.

Family is in town from out of town, so yesterday was when everyone could get together at the same time.

It was actually kind of a big deal, since most of the time people are uncooperative and typically chaos ensues as the planning and execution of said plans happens.

So, 17+1 all managed to make it to another  part of the state and gather in a sort of “family reunion” type gathering. 17+1? Well, there were 17 people, plus one on the way.

Family? My wife and I, our combined 6 children, 2 of their spouses and a significant other, and 6 grandchildren (plus the one on the way).

Picnic lunch, visiting shops and stores amid a pandemic and ridiculous restrictions, ice creams stops, and lots of driving (about 6 hours round trip). So, as you can imagine, there are always a bit of wrangling issues when you have people in your group from ages of 53 to 2. But, for the most part, it was a memorable time.

Granted, these are the people that a large portion of the topics here on the blog deal with, but yesterday they were all exempt. Genuine effort by all made for a day that was mostly pleasant.

So, today, while I don’t feel like Pissing and Moaning, I guess I’ll just be appreciative.

Uninvited

close up photography of bird nest

Photo by Evelyn Chong on Pexels.com

OK, am I crazy here? Am I being unreasonable?

If you have guests staying in your home, do you think it is inappropriate for them to invite guests over to your house? Essentially, guests are inviting guests into your home.

Furthermore, what if all the guests are family?

So, some family is now living in my home for an undetermined amount of time. It’s been less than a week since this change. One of the conditions of moving in was that they were not allowed to have guests over, because having people in your space is one thing but then to have those people inviting strangers into your home because they are their friends, is just a whole other problem. This condition seemed to be understood.

Anyway, last night I overheard a conversation where the newly homed family members (in my home) were making plans with other family members who don’t exactly live nearby, but are within driving distance of their own home, to stay at the house. I believe the conversation went something like, “Well, you can come and hang out for the evening and we can probably find a place for you to crash. Driving home that late doesn’t make sense. I am sure we can find room. It’ll be fun. You can just go home the next day.

Excuse me? Fun for whom? Have you checked with me yet? Is this OK with me? You are making plans for me and my home without checking with me first. How is that OK? I mean, I have already altered my life to allow some family to stay in the house, do I really need to rearrange my life just so more family can stay in my house? Really?

Does it make a difference in this situation if the family members involved are your adult children and grandkids? One adult child has moved in with her 11 year old daughter. They are inviting our middle son and his family (wife, 3 boys under 7) to stay at the house too. Mind you, there is barely enough room for the people already staying in the house…

Am I crazy here? Am I being selfish?

I liked my nest empty. I want it back that way. That’s not to say I don’t love the kids and grandkids, but come on…it’s kind of the principle of the thing, isn’t it?