relatives | Piss and Moan

Grow up

Posted on July 27, 2020 by backuphill

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It never ceases to amaze me at how adult family members can be so immature, especially family members who are in their late 50’s.

A few details about my BNL. Single. Lives alone. Makes great money as a machinist in a local shop. Like to talk about himself, but that mostly includes his cats and his job (which he talks in technical jargon so no one can understand what he is talking about). Is a bit out there in ideology, but not extremist by any means. Likes rocks, gems, and nature photography.

Now, he always shows up at holiday celebrations. Rarely shows up for birthday celebrations, other than for his parents. Always comes to consume, but almost never contributes. Never participates in planning get-togethers and never shares in the expense, even though he will show up for them. When asked to bring something, he feigns not knowing what to bring, and if he is asked to bring something specifically it is never enough for size of the gathering.

Over the weekend, my FNL had his 80th birthday. His daughters (even one from out of town) planned the gathering and provided nearly everything for it. BNL showed up before the gathering and didn’t help with setup, tried to carry on conversations while we were setting up (as in, watched while we worked), didn’t offer to help, didn’t offer to help with expenses, nothing. But he made sure he was next to first in line for food. The only thing he actually did, or offered for the whole thing….he picked up some folding chairs at the end. Otherwise, he was busy hiding in the house and doing other things.

Time for someone to grow up and not think of themselves? Yeah, pretty much. Why do none of his siblings say anything to him about it? I have no clue.

Maybe there is history I don’t know about, but I am pretty sure he would have already told me if I stood there to listen to him long enough.

Irritating, you know?

Raisins?

Posted on December 30, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Megha Mangal on Pexels.com

I got a Christmas package from a relative and it had some treats in it. I love (yes, WAY TOO MUCH) Christmas treats…cookies, fudge, anything chocolate, pretzels, blah blah blah! There isn’t much that I don’t find appetizing this time of year.

So, I was looking forward to one particular treat that appeared in my box – a homemade popcorn ball. I love popcorn and I don’t have popcorn balls all that often so I saved it for another day. It was wrapped in wax paper, but I knew what it was.

I opened it up this morning and seriously debated if I should eat it.

It had raisins in it.

Who puts raisins in popcorn balls?

Well, apparently the answer is, my aunt.

I am not a fan of raisins. Not at all. I like grapes, not raisins.

Just so we’re clear on what happened, I ate it. But it was…different. Can’t say I am particularly fond of that combo. I think we can safely say that popcorn and raisins don’t and shouldn’t belong together. I briefly debated whether I would eat the thing, but the popcorn got the better of me. I like popcorn!

What food combo/ingredient combo has surprised you in the past, good or bad?

Relatively needy

Posted on August 13, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Henda Watani on Pexels.com

As you may have read yesterday, there are some relatives staying with us. I have to preface that with the fact that these are in addition to the relatives who have been staying with us in the camper in our yard. So, needless to say, there are quite a few extra people around.

Well, yesterday when I got home, it seemed everyone who doesn’t have permanent residence IN the house needed something. Things they couldn’t take care of themselves or needed assistance with, or even just didn’t take care of themselves even though they caused the issue.

One relative needed help gathering supplies for a campfire in the backyard. Not a hard task, but since I didn’t really want a fire in the backyard pit it was rather irritating. It was just assumed it was OK rather than asking. So as to not make waves, I just did it.

One relative didn’t pick up their crap. So I put it away.

One relative broke a light switch. I went about repairs, only to find that it can’t be fixed and will need to be replaces.

One relative had to tell me, immediately about the day even though she could see that I was busy with other things. She literally followed me around talking while I took care of other stuff.

One relative complained because my face “said I looked like I was irritated.”

All of this was within the first 20 minutes of being home.

I’ll tell you what…some days it just doesn’t pay to go home. Perhaps I’ll not go home for the rest of the week…

Invasion

Posted on August 12, 2019 by backuphill

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Have you ever experienced an invasion?

Not of rodents. Not of insects. Not of a military kind.

But of the family kind?

Relatives have been in town this last week (and one more to go) and it feels a bit like an invasion. Everything in the house has been adjusted for them, the food, the fridge, the sleeping schedule, the bathroom, the furniture, the accommodations, the entertainment, the seemingly openness to communal living…it’s tiring.

It’s an invasion really.

Suddenly life as I have known it is thrown upside down and normal day to day activities take on a new, additional challenge. It’s not good. Really.

I love them. I’ll admit. But they’re tiring. Really tiring. They live life so differently.

The only bright spot in this invasion? They’ll leave.

This invasion will end and they’ll go home. Far, far away.

The normal (whatever that is) life will return.

Anyone else not really enjoy house guests? Family or other?

Getting real old

Posted on July 29, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

This last weekend was for the ages.

I went to two birthday parties for old people. My grandmother turned 90 and my father-in-law turned 79.

This isn’t really a complaint about relatives getting old. I love them. But what it is a complaint about is that people are getting old, and that just means the inevitable is getting closer…and I don’t like it.

Not only is it getting closer for them (it’s hard to admit, because really it could be any time), but it is getting closer for me too. That’s the frightening thing.

Not that I am scare of death. I know where my Peace is.

But, I am scared because there seems like there just isn’t enough time and there are places I want to go and things I want to do and suddenly I feel selfish because I feel like I have to let those things go. I am scared because there are things that will happen in the future that I might not get to see, experience, enjoy with my daughter (and grand kids, when she has them in the future). Time just keeps on ticking and often I think I am no closer to some of my goals now, than I was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago.

I look at the people I love in my life and they’re getting old and time with them is slipping by. There aren’t as many at family gatherings as there used to be. Oh, to have that time back, right? Just make the best of it now. Cherish it.

Getting old is getting really old. My body feels it. My mind knows it. My eyes see it.

How do I move forward and make it not feel this way?

Do you worry about getting old? Do you wonder what will happen in the next 10-20 years for you? What do you take solace in?