This last weekend was for the ages.
I went to two birthday parties for old people. My grandmother turned 90 and my father-in-law turned 79.
This isn’t really a complaint about relatives getting old. I love them. But what it is a complaint about is that people are getting old, and that just means the inevitable is getting closer…and I don’t like it.
Not only is it getting closer for them (it’s hard to admit, because really it could be any time), but it is getting closer for me too. That’s the frightening thing.
Not that I am scare of death. I know where my Peace is.
But, I am scared because there seems like there just isn’t enough time and there are places I want to go and things I want to do and suddenly I feel selfish because I feel like I have to let those things go. I am scared because there are things that will happen in the future that I might not get to see, experience, enjoy with my daughter (and grand kids, when she has them in the future). Time just keeps on ticking and often I think I am no closer to some of my goals now, than I was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago.
I look at the people I love in my life and they’re getting old and time with them is slipping by. There aren’t as many at family gatherings as there used to be. Oh, to have that time back, right? Just make the best of it now. Cherish it.
Getting old is getting really old. My body feels it. My mind knows it. My eyes see it.
How do I move forward and make it not feel this way?
Do you worry about getting old? Do you wonder what will happen in the next 10-20 years for you? What do you take solace in?