Getting real old

man hands waiting senior

Photo by Pixabay on

This last weekend was for the ages.

I went to two birthday parties for old people. My grandmother turned 90 and my father-in-law turned 79.

This isn’t really a complaint about relatives getting old. I love them. But what it is a complaint about is that people are getting old, and that just means the inevitable is getting closer…and I don’t like it.

Not only is it getting closer for them (it’s hard to admit, because really it could be any time), but it is getting closer for me too. That’s the frightening thing.

Not that I am scare of death. I know where my Peace is.

But, I am scared because there seems like there just isn’t enough time and there are places I want to go and things I want to do and suddenly I feel selfish because I feel like I have to let those things go. I am scared because there are things that will happen in the future that I might not get to see, experience, enjoy with my daughter (and grand kids, when she has them in the future). Time just keeps on ticking and often I think I am no closer to some of my goals now, than I was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago.

I look at the people I love in my life and they’re getting old and time with them is slipping by. There aren’t as many at family gatherings as there used to be. Oh, to have that time back, right? Just make the best of it now. Cherish it.

Getting old is getting really old. My body feels it. My mind knows it. My eyes see it.

How do I move forward and make it not feel this way?


Do you worry about getting old? Do you wonder what will happen in the next 10-20 years for you? What do you take solace in?


  1. the #1 Itinerary · July 30, 2019

    Great post 🙂


  2. Rachel McAlpine · December 27, 2019

    That, as almost every interviewee in the history of the world has said with fake or real surprise, That is a good question. Most of us stomp on these particular fears, so I’ll be interested to see what your readers say.


    • backuphill · December 27, 2019

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment!

      As I have pondered this a little more, I have decided that maybe not feeling old means I need to get out and DO MORE of the things that help me feel young.

      One of those things is traveling. I feel “alive” when I am out doing things and going places I have never been. I am now in a place financially and becoming free of familial obligations that I will hopefully be able to go see places I have always wanted to. No more dreaming. Perhaps if I knock some of those places off of my “some day” list, then I won’t feel like I am getting old and missing out on stuff.


      • Rachel McAlpine · December 27, 2019

        I understand. It’s not about getting old, because that’s a good thing, much to be desired—as you point out. It’s about feeling alive, over which we have much more control. Your decision to start on that “some day” list is so wise, because doing new things, seeing new places (in your own country or abroad) means you are putting new memories in your memory bank. Which slows time down (yes!) and brings happiness too. So, looking at your feelings so honestly is already bringing rewards. Sorry to go on, but I’m excited about this!


      • backuphill · December 28, 2019

        Thanks for your encouragement, Rachel.

        Liked by 1 person

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