The Office Donut

donuts and bagel display

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There they are, staring at me like a cat about to eat the canary.

It feels weird to complain about donuts, but dang it already I am going to.

I don’t need these. It is December, the month of Christmas treats everywhere.

I have no will power.

Stupid donuts.

Guess I’ll eat as many as possible so they stop staring at me.

Time, not my friend

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You know when you have stuff to do at work and there just isn’t any time? Yeah, that’s me today and all of next week.

People are sick, so you have to cover them. People need to get hired, so you cover jobs they would normally be responsible for. People are gone giving training or getting training, so you have to cover them. It’s a wonder I have time for my own job!

I have to give training next week and so far I have had less than an hour to prepare. The prospect of time today, is next to nil. The prospect of time next week is just above nil.

Guess I’ll wing it, like usual.

Home office chills

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My job allows me to telecommute two days a week and let me tell you that I am gonna take advantage of that in any way possible since I have to drive through the worst traffic in the US, to the tune of 45 miles one way to work. So, having the chance to telecommute is not going to go untakenadvantageof (yes I know that word is made up, but it should be a real word).

Anyway, the disadvantage to my telecommute at this point is that the house is too small to have my “home office” actually in the home, which means it is currently set up in my garage. It isn’t a totally bad deal except…

…except the garage isn’t completely insulated and on rare occasions the temperature of the upper left corner of the contiguous 48 actually dips below freezing. As such, the “home office” gets rather chilly. This morning the “home office” was 41 degrees before turning on the heater and when I started working, over an hour later, it was 46 degrees.

My “home office” requires a continually running heater and a stocking cap. And a perpetually warm cup of coffee for the hands.

Oh the sacrifices I make to work from home.

Babysitting co-workers

Tasked this morning with babysitting co-workers who have difficulty getting along…and they are the ones presenting a workshop today.

Last minute assignment from the boss. Up way too early for this.

This should be interesting.

I need staples…

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The supply cabinet at the office should do the trick. No, I am not stealing from the office for my stapler at home. These are for my actual work stapler.

Here’s the thing. The office supplies are ordered from an office supply store named “Staples.” Guess what? They have store branded items! Great if you are buying office supplies and want something cheaper than the name brand stuff. Perfect solution.

But wait! What happens when you go to the supply closet/cabinet and open it up looking for staples? Yep. Sure. OK. There are fifty small boxes in the cabinet all with the work “Staples” on them…now I am supposed to look for a box labeled Staples Staples?

Good luck to me. Maybe I didn’t really need staples that badly.

#fml #smh

Shut up already!

Every office has at least one. Every school faculty has one too. I am sure every factory has one, I just haven’t worked in one. To be fair, it is probably true of just about every place of employment around the world.

What is that, you ask? The only co-worker that asks a question at the end of a staff meeting that makes the meeting go unnecessarily long. Am I right?

Can I ask one more question? Can I get some clarification on…? Would it be ok…? Why…?

The questions come in all shapes and sizes but what we all know is that the question could have been addressed in a private conversation or in a covered in an email. But instead, we are left sitting in a meeting we didn’t want to be in in the first place listening to people we don’t like or marginally tolerate ask questions we already know the answer to or don’t care to know.

Just shut up already and let us get back to work! Please stop the torture.

#smh

Paper towel thieves

Stop taking the damn paper towels!!

OK, so it is fine to use them, but stop taking the whole roll from the room they were placed in, and if you use the last one go get a new roll. It is really simple, people. Simple.

At work we seem to have an endless supply of paper towels. Each of the main bathrooms has a whole closet full of them. I don’t know why. I don’t care why. I just know because I am constantly going in there to replenish a roll somewhere. Why? Because my freaking co-workers can’t do it themselves.

Keep a roll in the lunch room. Simple. Only, every time I go in there to have lunch, there’s no roll! WTF! I just put one in here two days ago because there wasn’t one in here.

Keep a roll by the coffee machine. Simple. Only when I need to use one, there is no roll again. Someone used the last one and failed to replace it or it was a handy roll to steal and never got replaced. WTF! 

I feel like the damn paper towel police, only there should be no full time police force of paper towels needed if everyone was responsible enough to get their own roll of towels out of the supply closet in the bathroom, which just happens to be magically replenished all the time because it is always full. Where is that fairy? Why isn’t she making sure everywhere else has towels too?

Let’s keep it clean people. Make sure there are paper towels where they should be all the time. ALL the time.