Blink of an eye

lioness lying on brown tree trunk

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It was nice here in the Pacific Northwest this weekend. It got up into the 60s and there were lots of people out without coats and washing their cars. I happen to have been one of them!

When the weather turns nice (and yes, in the NW 60s is nice) it is time to get out and work in the yard, getting ready for Spring. So, the weekend was a weekend to get off the couch and cast away the sluggish attitude to “get ‘r done!”

Well, I got her done. And I am paying for it this morning. All that activity made this old guy stiff and tired.

You know that feeling when your tired and you just want to stay in bed? Yeah, I got that this morning, but really the issue here today is that time that goes by in the blink of an eye.

Literally, as I was driving to work this morning, I think I could count the seconds go by with each blink of the eye. There was literally time in each blink to think, “It feels good to close my eyes. Wait, I’m driving, open back up.” Then the next blink comes, “Why did I get out of bed? Do I really have to do this?” The next blink, “It would be nice to just leave them closed. Why are they so heavy? Open, open, open…” And so on…It was a really long drive to work this morning.

Anyway, here’s to a slow-brained, slow-blinking kind of day…oh Monday…

Win a prize!

box celebration gift package

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OK, guys, here’s your chance to win a prize!

I have a great give away lined up for you. Make sure you read all the way to the end (no cheating!) to see what you get. The rules are easy and there are only 12 steps!

First the rules:

  1. Like this blog post.
  2. Follow this blog, if you haven’t already.
  3. Like three other blogs with the word “Loop” in the title.
  4. Stand up if you are sitting; sit if you are standing.
  5. Pat your head and rub your tummy.
  6. Follow EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, I am following.
  7. Stand in front of the house/building doing “The Crane” pose from Karate Kid for a total of 4 minutes (if you don’t know what that is, watch Karate Kid first. Oh, and wear pants if necessary).
  8. Buy charcoal toothpaste.
  9. Brush vigorously with said toothpaste until you foam at the mouth – take a selfie and post in the comments.
  10. Find a dine-in pizza place, walk by a table with a pizza one it, and take THREE pieces of pepperoni off the pizza. Tell table occupants those were tainted and eat them.
  11. Thank a police officer and a member of the armed services.
  12. Leave a pic of the shocked pizza restaurant faces after you ate their pepperoni in the comments.
*If you completed steps 1, 2, 3, 6, & 11, I thank you and so do other random bloggers.
*If you completed steps 4, 5, 8, & 9 then you are a moderately rational person.
* If you completed 7, 10, & 12 – well, you need help.
*If you completed all the steps above, thank you. You’re also an idiot.

The Prize

You probably didn’t do any of these things (OK, hopefully at least #1 & #2), so the prize is the satisfaction of knowing you don’t fall for these stupid “follow loops” to win prizes like other social media people. Good job! Pat yourself on the back.


Anyone else annoyed by these things? It seems to be the trend on Instagram right now.

Can you hear me now?

close up photography of microphone

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Perhaps I am just a little weird when it comes to noticing things. Perhaps I am not. Perhaps I am just “that guy” that brings stuff up that should just be left alone…but what they hell, I like poking the bear.

Anyway, I want to brings something to your attention that I am sure is a national scandal. I hope all the “fake news” agencies pick up this observation and made a big deal of it. I really need to get my 15 minutes of fame in quick because life is short and I am over half done already.

Is there an unwritten code for comedians that the rest of us don’t know about? I’m serious. Think about this for a second (ok, three, because you’re gonna have to wrack your brain for a moment). Here goes…

Why do comedians used corded mics while performing?

Clearly technology exists that would allow for a wireless lapel mic, or just a wireless mic, or one of those cool wrap around the head wireless mic things (I don’t know what those are called). So why, in 100% of performances I have seen live or on TV, do the comedians use a wired mic?

Think about this: I saw Jim Gaffigan live and he drug a corded mic all over the arena stage. I have watched the Netflix Original shows for numerous comedians and all of them have had wired mics on stage. Kevin James, check. Ray Romano, check. Ken Jeong, check. I have watched comedians perform on America’s Got Talent. They all use a wired mic. Get the pattern here? It doesn’t matter how famous or “big” the comedians get, they still use a corded mic.

So what gives? Is there a secret code we don’t know about? Is it a security blanket they just can’t get rid of?

I NEED to know WHY? Seriously.

Any comedians out there that wanna break the silent and secret code and let us in on this obviously important national question?

Only Olaf and Frosty are happy

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It is snowing here, again.

After the “snowpacolypse” a few weeks ago, everyone was happy to see the white stuff go away. Well, mostly go away. There is still a giant pile of snow in the work parking lot from the last time we had the event.

Well, it has returned and I am pretty sure by all the whining around the region that people aren’t happy about the return. I know the schools are not happy about the prospect of having to call more snow days. Some of them ended up missing nine days of school. So, far, I haven’t heard of any closures (at least my kids).

So, today, only Olaf and Frosty are happy about the weather. The rest of us…we will survive.

Throw the flag!

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Alright football fans, do you ever find yourself yelling this at the TV (or if you’re lucky to attend the game, at the actual refs)?

What if there were penalty flags in real life? Wouldn’t that be great if there was a way to immediately have feedback from a random third party that could “throw the flag” as a penalty when someone wrongs you?

Cut you off in traffic? PENALTY FLAG! Move back three cars.

Rudely interrupts a conversation at a restaurant? PENALTY FLAG! They pay for my dinner.

Neighbor’s do craps in the yard and they don’t clean it up? PENALTY FLAG! They have to mow my lawn for a month.

Someone in the house eats your leftovers? PENALTY FLAG! They have to cook every night for a week.

What do you think? Could you go for this? What are some places you’d love to have someone “throw the flag” in your life? (or, if you’re brave, maybe places you DON’T want a flag thrown!)

That’s not funny

people at theater

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Generally, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Maybe I am just getting old or something.

I went to a local theater the other night and saw a performance of “The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?” done by Robert Dubac. I like comedy. I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that entertaining. Yeah, I got a few chuckles out of it but there wasn’t really anything that struck the funny bone. Instead, it was just a lot of material that others have done and a lot of cliches repacked and retold in a different format. Kind of disappointing. If I had a comedy meter, if would have gotten two chuckles out of five. Bummer.

Oh, and let me save you some time. I just finished the Ray Romano special on Netflix. It was a snoozer! Good grief. I saw there was a special for him and I liked his TV show, “Everybody Loves Raymond.” So, there was a bit of expectation that he would be funny. Not so much. I watched the first 30 minutes and I don’t think I chuckled once. I turned it off. Imaging me sitting on the couch…not even cracking a smile. So, to be fair, I decided to watch the rest of it on another day. Maybe I was in a bad mood or something. So, I just finished the special and I have to say that on the comedy meter it would be given one chuckle out of five. Really disappointing! I can actually say that I didn’t even laugh until about 42 minutes into the special. That’s a long time to wait for something to crack a smile for. My advice – avoid the special and veg out on something else.

I guess my funny bone is broke. Or maybe I am old. Or maybe it’s both.

Anyone else seen these two things? What did you think?

Just a number

top view photo of ceramic mugs filled with coffees

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Raise your hand if you like coffee. Raise your hand if you have at least two cups of coffee a day. Finally, raise your hand if you have a favorite coffee cup.

Yeah, I thought so. I do too. I like coffee. I have at least two cups of coffee per day. I also have a favorite coffee cup. Well, to be fair, I have a favorite coffee cup at home and also one at work (oh, and include one favorite travel mug as well).

So, I generally use only two coffee cups per day. However, if you are also like me, you probably have a collection of about 63 coffee cups, most of which never get used. Right?

So what’s the deal? Why do people “collect” coffee cups they never (or rarely) use? Moreover, why do people give coffee cups as gifts period? In most cases the giver has to assume the receiver already has a cup they like/use and doesn’t need another cup to clutter up the cupboards. So why give it in the first place? Do you think you are so important that the receiver will give up their favorite cup just for you? Arrogance!

If you go to a coffee shop, you see all the different options there. If you go to a big box store, you see all the options there. If you go to a novelty shop, you see all the options there. Here’s the kicker, if you go to a thrift store you can see the myriad of options there! All those discarded and unwanted coffee cups…

So why do people keep making, selling, buying, and giving them?

What’s your number? How many do you have in the cupboard?