The Office Donut

donuts and bagel display

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There they are, staring at me like a cat about to eat the canary.

It feels weird to complain about donuts, but dang it already I am going to.

I don’t need these. It is December, the month of Christmas treats everywhere.

I have no will power.

Stupid donuts.

Guess I’ll eat as many as possible so they stop staring at me.

When you go just too far

We’ve all had those moments, right? The one where we try to squeeze out the most of something just so we can enjoy more of it? Yeah, me too.

This morning, again, I tried to squeeze (maybe that is the wrong word here) too much coffee into my cup. And, again, it overflowed because it was just too much.

I have a coffee mug that I like and usually can get 14 ounces of coffee into, if I am careful about the amount of creamer I put in first. As such, when I am not paying attention and try to fill the cup “to the rim” (as an old coffee brand – Brim – used to say) I end up having to clean the coffee maker and surrounding area because of spillage. 

I say it is the fault of the coffee maker because it isn’t dispensing the correct amount of water. It’s a Keurig and I have been filling my cup the same way for over a year but suddenly I get an over-fill on a pretty regular basis. It can’t be my fault!

Ok, maybe it is…maybe I should just stop pressing my luck and stop trying to “enjoy the last drop.”

#fml

Can we just take a nap now?

Going back to work after a long (4 days, in my case) weekend is just punishment no one should have to endure. How about if you all continue to work and I’ll just take a permanent retirement where I still collect my paycheck? 

Yeah, I think that sounds good. 

It’s only 15 minutes into the work day and I can tell it is going to be a long day already…

#smh

Food Coma, part deux

As if one day of belly busting isn’t enough, we have two.

What’s worse? They are only 18 hours apart, so I will be bellying up to the table again in just a couple hours! I am pretty sure my colon hasn’t finished processing the first round of Thanksgiving edibles.

I am so full I haven’t even thought about Black Friday shopping…ok, well maybe a little but I can’t even do online shopping enthusiastically (not that I am ever enthusiastic about anything) because it is still hard to move.

So, here’s to holding down the toilet from the first go round to empty the main tank and get ready for the second round of tummy ache. 

How do you manage the after holiday tummy stretching?

Sorta Thankful

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I was at the store last evening picking up a last minute item needed by someone in the house to make something to put in my mouth today. The place was packed and the cash registers were beeping like crazy.

The young man behind the counter checking me out wished me a “Happy Thanksgiving” and I returned the sentiment. And then I added, “I hope you don’t have to work tomorrow.” His response irritated me, though it was really no fault of his own. 

You see, he has to work today, at a grocery store, on Thanksgiving. That is the totally irritating part! The poor kid will spend at least half of his day working instead of being with family or friends, all because we as a society are too damn selfish to let people stay home.

You know what they used to do if they forgot the olives, or cranberries, or whatever? THEY WENT WITHOUT and made due with what they did have! No stores were open and everyone survived without whatever was missing. Because, really, did they need it that bad?

No one was working (well, except for first responders – and we’ll talk about that in a second). Why have we become a society of consumers and “me first”? It really is all our (me included, though I have made great effort over the years not to be) fault. We have made this mess.

Anyway, there are people working today which I suppose is a necessary evil. First responders (fire, police, hospital, ambulance, etc) are all on the job today keeping people safe or saving people. I am thankful for them. They sacrifice for us and that we should be grateful for.

So, Piss and Moan is sorta thankful today…is it possible to be only partially thankful and still not be an ass? Eh, who cares. Happy Thanksgiving.

Paper towel thieves

Stop taking the damn paper towels!!

OK, so it is fine to use them, but stop taking the whole roll from the room they were placed in, and if you use the last one go get a new roll. It is really simple, people. Simple.

At work we seem to have an endless supply of paper towels. Each of the main bathrooms has a whole closet full of them. I don’t know why. I don’t care why. I just know because I am constantly going in there to replenish a roll somewhere. Why? Because my freaking co-workers can’t do it themselves.

Keep a roll in the lunch room. Simple. Only, every time I go in there to have lunch, there’s no roll! WTF! I just put one in here two days ago because there wasn’t one in here.

Keep a roll by the coffee machine. Simple. Only when I need to use one, there is no roll again. Someone used the last one and failed to replace it or it was a handy roll to steal and never got replaced. WTF! 

I feel like the damn paper towel police, only there should be no full time police force of paper towels needed if everyone was responsible enough to get their own roll of towels out of the supply closet in the bathroom, which just happens to be magically replenished all the time because it is always full. Where is that fairy? Why isn’t she making sure everywhere else has towels too?

Let’s keep it clean people. Make sure there are paper towels where they should be all the time. ALL the time.

Wardrobe tragedy

photo of man tossing nescafe mug

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There is nothing worse than getting dressed up only to have a wardrobe tragedy occur without warning, and there rarely ever occur with warning so they are always a tragedy.

Raise your hand if you have ever: dropped food on your shirt/blouse? Dropped food on your pants/dress/skirt/shorts? Dropped food on your tie? Missed both your top AND bottom only to have it land on your shoe? Had it happen to your favorite outfit?

Dang it already…guess I’ll just throw this attire away and start over tomorrow.

 

**This post is NOT sponsored by Nescafe, but if it wants to I would completely open to large amounts of money.