Guess we’ll starve

abstract art cooking cutlery

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Ok, I know this is a question for the ages and it is as much a mystery as finding a sasquatch…

Why, when you are with a group of people or family, is it so dang hard to decide on a place to go to eat? Why does it have to be an exercise in patience and tolerance, with a side of not murdering someone?

I mean, really? Is it that tough to decide? Everyone put an idea on the table. Is there a common thread to the ideas? Similar location? Wide variety of food options at your idea? Could everyone find something on the menu to satisfy their taste?

Sheesh, people.

My family is the worst. I honestly think it would be better to starve than try to make everyone remotely happy.

“Fine. Stay home and starve. I’m out the door and I’ll eat by myself.”

Slow fast food

mcdonald store at nigh time

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I know we have gotten rather spoiled these days in society and the modern comforts we often take for granted only seem to make us appreciate less and less. There is no lack of gratefulness these days.

BUT, I gotta tell ya, there is nothing more frustrating than slow “fast” food.

Time is short. You have a schedule to keep. You’re a mover and a shaker and you gotta get stuff done. People to see, places to be.

So you stop at a “fast” food restaurant thinking you can get in and out in less the 7 minutes and you can still maintain your fast paced agenda.

Screeching halt. 13 minutes later. 22 minutes later. Doesn’t matter how long really, as long as it isn’t “fast” it gets frustrating fast. You can feel your anxiety rising and you start “chomping at the bit”.

As an example just this morning even, I was running a little behind and there was no coffee ready at home. I stopped at a place where the golden arches beckon (don’t judge the coffee, it is passable) in hopes that I could get in and out quickly. Seven minutes from ordering, I am still waiting…for coffee. This, waiting at a place where the literally push a button after the put the cup under the spigot because the coffee is made in one of those dispenser things. That is not fast.

So, fast food. Not.

Anyone else frustrated in/with places like this?

Yes, please, treat me

baked baking bread breakfast

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Actually, don’t. Stop it already.

Yes, I want all your office treats that you don’t want. No, I don’t want all the office treats that you don’t want. I mean really, it’s a battle that I have been waging for a long time.

Fellow office mates, “Hmm, I am not really into chocolate. I’ll give it to, Grumpy. He eats everything.”

Fellow office mates, “There are leftover cupcakes from the party. Grumpy, do you want them?”

I am trying to lose weight, so why does everyone bring their crap to me? Oh, well, maybe I should actually tell them NO instead of eating it. I just hate to waste food.

I am my own worst enemy.

TMI?

asparagus bunch bundle close up

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Are you all ready for this?

It perhaps falls into the TMI category…

What is the deal with the biology or science or chemistry or whatever behind this?

Consume asparagus = Get stinky pee.

Why?

And I am not talking like hours later. I am talking like within 30 minutes. So weird.

Why?

I suppose I could Google it, since it is the knower of all things. But I wanna know your explanation. Make something up! Tell me the truth. Just give me an answer because, like the old commercial used to say, “Inquiring minds want to know.”

Why?

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The Office Donut

donuts and bagel display

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There they are, staring at me like a cat about to eat the canary.

It feels weird to complain about donuts, but dang it already I am going to.

I don’t need these. It is December, the month of Christmas treats everywhere.

I have no will power.

Stupid donuts.

Guess I’ll eat as many as possible so they stop staring at me.

When you go just too far

We’ve all had those moments, right? The one where we try to squeeze out the most of something just so we can enjoy more of it? Yeah, me too.

This morning, again, I tried to squeeze (maybe that is the wrong word here) too much coffee into my cup. And, again, it overflowed because it was just too much.

I have a coffee mug that I like and usually can get 14 ounces of coffee into, if I am careful about the amount of creamer I put in first. As such, when I am not paying attention and try to fill the cup “to the rim” (as an old coffee brand – Brim – used to say) I end up having to clean the coffee maker and surrounding area because of spillage. 

I say it is the fault of the coffee maker because it isn’t dispensing the correct amount of water. It’s a Keurig and I have been filling my cup the same way for over a year but suddenly I get an over-fill on a pretty regular basis. It can’t be my fault!

Ok, maybe it is…maybe I should just stop pressing my luck and stop trying to “enjoy the last drop.”

#fml

Can we just take a nap now?

Going back to work after a long (4 days, in my case) weekend is just punishment no one should have to endure. How about if you all continue to work and I’ll just take a permanent retirement where I still collect my paycheck? 

Yeah, I think that sounds good. 

It’s only 15 minutes into the work day and I can tell it is going to be a long day already…

#smh