Magical calories

img_5515

You know, math is hard. I really think very few people like it. I suspect many of my readers are probably in the same boat as I am when it comes to math. You’d just rather not do it. Sometimes, I just don’t get it. This, however, seems to be simple math and since I am no math prodigy I think I can handle it.

The label on this bottle of carbonated and flavored water is a mathematical mind-bender. Or, perhaps someone just doesn’t have any labeling sense. Or, maybe, they’re just magical calories!

There are three servings in the 36 oz. bottle (12 oz. per serving). According to the way I read this, if you drink one serving at a time, there are ZERO calories. However, if you drink the bottle all at once (or over time?) you will get a whopping 15 calories . Duly noted. Don’t consume the entire bottle. Ever. You will avoid all calories if you leave one ounce in the bottle.

But wait!! There is something funny going on here. It just doesn’t add up. If there are three servings for a total of 15 calories, how does the math break down to ZERO calories per serving? Wouldn’t that be 5 calories per serving?

Anyone else confused by this math?

Do I really want an answer? NO! How about we just apply those magical calories to pizza? I am thinking, ZERO calories per slice and only 80 calories if you eat the whole thing. That would be satisfying.


Have you ever run into a dieting math problem that didn’t make sense?

Asking for a friend

black and white business career close up

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

So let’s get this straight…generally speaking…

The people who are against the death penalty for murderers, rapists, and child molesters are the same people who support abortion and infanticide?

The same people who are outraged by animal shelters killing unwanted animals are NOT similarly outraged by killing babies.

The same people who are worried about animals going extinct place more value on the animals than on human life?

Is any of this incongruent?

Again, asking for a friend…

Did you hear that?

man using smartphone while sitting at the table

Photo by bruce mars on Pexels.com

Did you hear that? I am surprised if you didn’t.

It was loud.

Or maybe it was just loud because it was in my confined space.

What what is?

It was the sound of my head hitting my desk.

No, I wasn’t under it looking for the Cheez-it I dropped.

It was my head hitting the desk out of boredom.

I say boredom, but really I have a ton of things to do. I have a ton of things to do, but this particular task of software testing and verification is tedious and boring. Staring at the screens all day and very little movement has left me rather sleepy.

I have other tasks that would be much more interesting and stimulating. However, this particular task I have put off longer than I should so I am plowing my way through it. I am only about half way done. Ugh!

I have a feeling my head will have a few extra lumps on it when I am done. How many bounces will my noggin take off the desk? Care to take any bets?


Do you have a task at work that is tedious, boring, and positively mind-numbing?

Sound the alarm!

red carlton alarm clock

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Everything is behind today. Everything, including this blog.

Alarm missed.

Backup alarm resounded.

Rush, rush rush.

Can we start over?

I woke up an hour and fifteen minutes late this morning. I generally don’t miss my alarm but I guess I must have been tired. I used the silent, vibrating alarm on my Fitbit and it usually is enough. As a back up, I have a DEAD AWAKE alarm set for “just in case” times. It got used this morning.

I was up about an hour and a half before the alarm was supposed to go off because the dog needed to pee. I went back to bed with the knowledge that there was still a decent amount of time for some sleep. Apparently, I needed more than a decent amount.

I got to work on time. Traffic and all.

 

Coffee disaster

professional coffee machine restaurant

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

If you have followed the blog long, or gone back and looked at the past writings, you’ve got some idea that I have a need and desire for coffee – and my complaints about the office coffee maker are frequent.

Anyway, I am not too picky when it comes to coffee. Thus, I can drink just about anything. So, at home, if there is leftover coffee in the pot I just make sure the thing comes on early and the coffee is warmed up while I get ready, thus it is hot when I leave for work.

This morning, that first sip of hot coffee on the way out the door was barely lukewarm…I double checked, the pot was one and had been for a little over an hour…so I think maybe the burner on the pot may be going out. This is not a good situation. It may, in fact, be an emergency. I am not panicking yet, but it may come down to that.

Oh, BTW, I drank the lukewarm coffee anyway – because coffee is life!

Now, let’s see about hot coffee from that office coffee maker…

 

Cuts so deep

kitchen knife

Photo by Lukas on Pexels.com

Tip of the iceberg. Tip of the finger.

One you can see, the other I am afraid to look at.

Throbbing.

Intense throbbing after a mishap with a knife. Man they’re sharp. Look at your middle finger, imagine a line about mid fingernail, and then think cut across the line…it didn’t go all the way through. Luckily the nail stopped it to some degree. (sorry if it grosses you out)

Stupid carrot sticks. Healthy eating just isn’t worth this kind of pain.

Does it need stitches? Probably. Will I get them? Probably not.

Rub some dirt in it and put on some duct tape, right? Isn’t that the cure for injuries like this?

I’m gonna stop now, It hurts to type. And BandAids don’t make for easy typing either.

Little dog, little dog

img_4684

Oh, little dog, little dog…

You are a tricky one you little dog. You are a little thief, little dog.

You steal my spot on the couch. You steal my pillow on the bed.

You sit at my feet and wait to steal (ok, willingly given up because you’re cute) pieces of my food.

You, little dog, steal cuddles in the middle of the day and make me pause in the rush as if to say, “Slow down. It will be OK. Take a moment and love me.”

Yes, little dog, you have stolen my heart, which is actually quite remarkable considering three years ago I DID NOT want you to be in my house, much less my life. But, you have been good for everyone.

Do I like that you steal my pillow at night? NO. Do I like that you drool all over it the moment I get out of bed and you curl up on it? No. Do I like that you often displace my butt from the couch the moment I get up to get a drink? No. I don’t like sitting in places that are not comfortable and unfamiliar.

But, little dog, oh little dog…keep it up.

**There may have been too much love and only a little Piss & Moan in this post. I apologize and will try to get back to the regularly schedule loathing tomorrow.**