Stepping back

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So, there was a pissing match and I didn’t want any part of it.

Turns out that the extra effort to prove me wrong wasn’t just about proving me wrong but to vindicate herself to another teammate too. As a result, a pissing match and tension.

I just decided to step back and not play along.

You can do your thing and the other can do their thing…but tell me what I m supposed to do to help clients when the info wasn’t readily available nor was it clear that there was much more involved than simply running a report on the data.

The problem with pissing matches is that everyone gets burned.

Weird play on words, but it’s true.

Have you stepped into something recently only to realize you best step back rather than get into the middle of it?

Ingratitude

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Rampant.

What do you do when you feel as though your kindness and generosity are being taken advantage of? What do you do when there is a lack of gratitude from someone who should be extremely appreciative of the way you have bent over backwards for them?

I think most of us don’t do things for others because we want to be celebrated. I don’t think we do things for others because we are looking for publicity or because we want accolades. We do things for others because we see a need and want to meet it. For some of us, it’s in our nature. For others, well, we have to work at it on a regular basis.

But, how do you handle a situation where you stepped out of what your “normal” everyday life is like, to rearrange and disrupt your life for a while, to help someone out only to have them act in a way that shows little to no gratitude or actually appears they are taking advantage of the situation?

Yeah, strangers likely wouldn’t act this way.

Family? Family, on the other hand, usually does.

I found out last night that appearances aren’t what they seem and there has been some talking going on behind that back of some family members about other family members. Mind you, the secretive discussions are from those who are getting help (and desperately needed it at the time) about those who are giving the help (who saw the need and stepped in to help despite major misgivings).

Seems a bit shocking, doesn’t it? It actually doesn’t really surprise me. I mean it does, and it doesn’t. That has been the trend all along. Family bends over backwards to help other family members, only to find out that it cause issues inside the family and causes the ones helping to regret they helped.

Lessons learned? You would think so, but no. That’s the problem with having a generous, helping heart.

Ingratitude. Expectation. Greed. Under-appreciation. Irresponsibility.

It’s cliche, but that phrase “Looking a gift horse in the mouth” actually does mean something.

 

Listen

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It really sucks to see stuff happen to people.

But then again, there’s a reason the phrase “I told you so” often comes up in conversations after the fact. So, maybe it doesn’t suck. Dare I say it’s deserved?

It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone may (or may not have) ask for advice and you give it, and they ignore it. Then, almost as predictable as a fat kid near cake, what you predicted would happen happens and the only thing you can do is shake your head and bit your tongue as you think, “I told you so.”

When you ask someone with more life experience and they give you advice I would recommend you listen. Don’t just ask because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are looking for confirmation on the answer you want to hear. And if you don’t hear the answer you are looking for, certainly don’t go charging into the *insert problem/issue/dilemma/etc. here* without some serious other considerations. Ask more people. Sleep on it. Consider other options. Change course and see if something else will happen or something better comes about.

I hate being right.

No, actually, I don’t. I like being right.

Call me a jerk, if you want. But deep down, I know you like it too. And, secretly, we all like to be vindicated when we give advice and someone ignores it.

Are we bad people? No.

Should we celebrate in it? No. But we can secretly break our own arms patting ourselves on the back…go ahead and do it.

Feels nice, right?

At least that is better than sitting in public, pointing, and laughing. Of course, there may be a place for that too. But that’s a topic for another day.

Slaves

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We’re all slaves.

Slaves to something. Whether it be an addiction or ideology or habit or whatever, there is something that controls us to some degree. It is inevitable.

Guaranteed you’re a slave to money. So am I.

We all need it to one degree or another. Some of us need it less and some of us need it more but, any way you look at it, we all still need it. We don’t live in a hunter-gatherer society any longer so we obviously live beyond just a subsistence level (those were simpler days, weren’t they?).

So, I was thinking about the fact that we are all slaves today.

Through this whole pandemic thing, I have had to keep asking myself about whom I am willing to be a slave to. I need money, that isn’t an option. Because of that, I have really been questioning which is more important, my job or the government? Essentially, I am asking which am I willing to be a slave to.

Would I rather be a slave to big business or to big government?

Some might argue that they are pretty similar, really, but let’s not get into the weeds of the debate here. Would I rather be at the mercy of big business where, for the most part, there is innovation and some freedom to decide where I want to work OR would I rather be at the mercy of an all powerful government where I have to rely on them for most everything and not question them and there is little to no innovation or freedom of choice?

Business or government? Freedom or oppression?

Now, I am a historian and I know the history. I know big business can be a lot like a government in my ways.

There is always going to be abuse, but at least with business there is always the chance for the little guy to break away and try to make it on his own. Start something new if he doesn’t like the big business or has an idea that could possibly innovate an industry.

But with a government, in most cases, I can’t just pick up and move to a different government if I don’t like it (like I can with a job). Know what I mean? In most cases I am going to be subject to the current government and there isn’t a way for me to break away and say, “Hey, I have a better idea, let’s do it this way!” Thus going about establishing a new government I see fit for me and those who agree with me.

That option doesn’t exist under a government like it does with a business.

Anyway, all this to say, have we let the government(s) go too far with this whole lockdown thing? Which response, meaning what level of government, was appropriate – federal, state, county, city? Whom has abused their powers? The powers WE gave them and that WE may possibly need to fight back to get again?

I feel like I am rambling now. I was hoping to keep this as a short, salient point, but I fear the more I explain it the more confusing it gets.

So, who or what are you willing to be a slave to?

Got away

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I’m late.

Sorry.

The day got away from me. I started working on a project for work and just lost track of time. I supposed that means I won’t Piss and Moan about anything…

Or maybe I will!

Life sucking, or money sucking, family members.

There. How do you feel about that?

There are members of families all over the world that seem to be the parasite, a leech, a blight upon the family. The neediness doesn’t stop and when some people in the family try to stop it, others of the family continue to enable it.

It might be the individual’s fault, or maybe just bad luck (or no luck at all), or maybe they are just the victim of circumstances, doesn’t really matter because they still seem to need something all the time. Want. Need. Whatever. Hand’s always out, looking for something.

“Help.” “Can you lend a hand?” “I was wondering…?” The approach may be different and sometimes it’s even a little veiled to make it look like they aren’t asking for help, but in reality they are. It’s always the same, but different.

Tiring. That’s what it is.

Holier than thou

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Alright, I am sure this will likely irritate people. Do I care, really? Nope. Have I ever given that impression?

I am tired of people complaining about other people “violating” the “stay home, stay healthy” mandate, as though they are holier than other people.

The reality of it all – you can only control you.

If someone wants to violate the mandate (which may or may not be Constitutional), that is their prerogative. Right? If people aren’t going to live in fear but have common sense and try to go about their daily lives as much as possible, that’s on them. That isn’t your concern.

If someone chooses to see their children or grandchildren in the front yard of their home with little or no contact, that isn’t your concern. If they decide to let them in the house and give each other hugs, that still isn’t your concern.

If someone decided they want to work on a new deck (or any other home improvement project) and need to go to Home Depot to get supplies, that isn’t your concern.

If someone wants to go for a drive, or for a walk, or go camping, or go fishing, or fly on an airplane, or sit on a park bench by themselves, or go windsurfing/paddleboarding…none of that is your concern.

If someone doesn’t want to wear gloves, or a face mask in public, not your concern.

Stay home. No one is forcing you to have human interaction. You can only control you.

If you are going to live in fear, stay home. If you want to hunker down and not see the light of day or get fresh air, that’s your choice. If you wanna live in the TV news cycle and hear about all the bad new, or whatever, that’s your call. If you wanna isolate yourself from the world, more power to you. BUT, keep it to yourself. You can’t and shouldn’t try to control others.

You are not the social police nor should you act like one. Don’t be hiding behind the curtains and reporting people because you don’t think they are beings “safe.” Not your call to make.

This looks different for everyone and their needs are different than yours.

You do you. You are only responsible for protecting yourself and how you do that is your choice.

You aren’t responsible to protect other people. That is their responsibility and if they choose not to do it the way you do it, then they are doing themselves the way they see fit.

Don’t forget the whole thing about pointing fingers…yeah, you know what I am talking about.

Last minute

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Despise.

Irritation.

Annoyance.

Let’s just say, I don’t like it when people wait till the last minute to do something and then act like it is everyone else’s fault when it doesn’t get done on time. Oh, and they take it out on everyone around too!

Like seriously? You had all freaking day to get it started. It’s not like the schedule right now had ya so busy that you didn’t have time. So why exactly did you wait until the last minute to get started?

Want me to help? OK. Fine. I can do that. Wait? Gonna yell at me because of the way I am helping? OK. I’m out. I’m done. Handle it yourself. I’ll be over here minding my own business while you scramble to correct your procrastination. Good luck with that.

Co-workers? Spouse? Kids? Extended family? All of them – check!

What is with people? Why do they do it to themselves, let alone others?

Anyone else had it up to their ears with these kinds of issues? Especially these days since our daily lives and schedules aren’t as full as they used to be?

 

 

Most popular

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I am not sure why, but one post on here seems to be the most popular.

Apparently there are a lot of people dealing with moldy bagels! Specifically, moldy bagels from Costco.

A post I wrote, “Costco’s moldy bagel problem,” shortly after I started this blog gets over a 100 views per month. It isn’t all that entertaining as it is much more of a complaint than anything, but apparently people are looking for answers so they click on the link.

The only answer they will find is that freezing them, in an attempt to stave off mold after a day or two, is the only think you can really do. Defrost each time you want one, and eat. There is no other way to stop the mold.

Oh wait, there is. Buy bagels from some place else! Bagels from a local grocery store that makes them fresh each day actually has better bagels for a better price on a dozen. They don’t mold nearly as quickly! Plus, the habit of slicing and freezing hasn’t gone away. It just works for me.

Anyway, I always find it interesting that this post is the most clicked on. Do you have a post that surprises you for the frequency that it gets visited?

Customer service?

 

The saga widens.

If you’re a business, staying in contact and helping your current customers is important for continuing to be a business. This shouldn’t even be a question. It’s a given!

If you’re a business and want to stay in business, you should respond to potential customer inquiries so they can decide if they want to buy your product. Again, this should be a given.

Customer service these days (well maybe always, but definitely more noticeable these days) is severely lacking in all kinds of different places. With most business being shifted online because of the current lockdown, customers are trying to reach out to companies as they deal with product issues or consider purchases. I am no different.

The Ryobi issue is still ongoing…no call back from the Warranty Department. Do I call every day now? Do I wait it out? Should I create a Twitter account just so I can go on there and shame them into helping me?

I emailed a company to ask about a product I currently have to see if they had a connection cable needed to connect to another product I have of theirs so they would work together. As yet, no response to that email from Goal Zero.

On top of that, I took the battery out of one of the vehicles and took it to a local company to have them check it out. It died in the vehicle for no reason and there isn’t anything that was drawing power from it, so I was wondering if it was bad. I dropped it off on Saturday with the understanding they would call on Tuesday or Wednesday with the test results (seemed like a long time to me, but OK). Yesterday afternoon came and no call. I called them. “Oh, yeah, seems to be working fine but we would like to test it one more time.” So, I’ll be picking that up this afternoon, hopefully.

Is this normal? Is customer service normally this bad?

Anyone else having a hard time getting online customer service? This stuff shouldn’t be that hard as it can mostly be done remotely. Are companies really not that nimble to make adjustments for customer service? Is it that hard to pick up a phone and just call?

I would be interested to know if you are experiencing more frustration than normal when contacting customer service.

Small minority

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Why should a small minority dictate to the majority what is appropriate and acceptable, or what is not?

Case in point: schools are closed in WA and they are trying to figure out how to go forward as this corona virus thing continues. It was communicated out from OSPI (our state superintendent’s office) that districts couldn’t continue to educate their students if they couldn’t guarantee “equity” for all students it serves. Or, at least, they couldn’t require students to attend because of equity (lack of internet, ELL, SpEd, etc.).

OK, on the surface, that makes sense and it looks great on the PR side of things. However, it doesn’t make sense when you start looking at the numbers. That closer look ends up making the policy a complete “F” in my book.

The closer look:

So, we’re not going to educate 90% of the students because 10% can’t participate because of various challenges?

What if it was 50/50? Is that still too low to continue offering education to those who can participate? You can play with the numbers however you like, but at just about any point you can’t justify depriving a larger group of people from something because of a smaller group. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Do you scuttle the sailboat because there is no wind?

Do you throw out the baby with the bathwater?

Do you cut off your hand because you got a splinter in your little finger?

Do you cut off your foot because you broke a toe?

Do you demolish an entire building because a couple rooms in it aren’t or can’t be occupied?

Catch my drift?

Why do we let small groups of people dictate what happens with the larger groups? Seems a bit backwards, doesn’t it?

Remember the saying, “Greatest good for the greatest number“? Why doesn’t that apply these days? Or any day? How did we get so far away from an idea that mostly works?Sure, I know we have to make sure the “minority” group doesn’t get abused by those who are more powerful or has the most resources, but there is still something true about this thought:

What is the greater good when it comes to educating our students?