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Loaded question…
How are you today?
Me? Thanks for asking.
Annoyance level is at high.
Like if your car had an Annoyance Level meter, it would be red-lined.
Not sure if some people will survive the day, particularly me. It can’t be healthy to hit your head repeatedly on a wall and not do some damage. But that’s what today feels like.
*sigh*
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Nope. I’m not talking about small, over-priced cookies distributed by your little local vested gang…
I am talking about family members (adult children, really) who don’t ever make any plans on their own, but just “tag-along” on the plans of others.
Birthday parties, Thanksgiving, Mother’s/Father’s Day, etc…never their own plans, always the question that comes one of two ways, “What are the plans?” or “What are you doing?”
Both of those questions are then followed up by the assumption that they are automatically invited to the event (even if it doesn’t really involve them) and don’t have to put in any effort into it. Sure, sometimes they offer to bring something minimal but most of the time they just show up and consume with little to no appreciation.
I have watched from afar and up close and personal, so here’s an example of which I speak:
Mother’s Day planning is done for an elderly mother. Plans are made, set, decided upon, and food is purchased for said get together. Planning has been done by the child of this mother BUT what soon follows is the children (the adult grandchildren of the elderly mother) of said mother doing the planning don’t plan anything for their own mom. Instead, the children just horn in on the plans for the grandmother – they don’t make any effort to plan anything for their own mother, other than just going to the gathering for the grandmother.
Does that make sense? I tried to explain that as clearly as possible, but I am not sure I did it successfully.
Anyway, this kind of tag-along thing happens all the time and, quite frankly, the mother needs to say something about it but doesn’t have the heart to speak up and tell the kids they need to do their own planning.
Of course, I can’t speak up either because that is a battle I can’t win no matter how I approach it. I am sure you can assume you know how that would all go over.
Irritating, really. And all I can do is sit back and watch it happen…
Unsolicited Advice? If you have are an adult child with parents who are still around, make your damn own plans! That might be challenging depending on family situations and timing, but the effort is noticed and appreciated. DON’T just tag-along (even if you are invited to). Grow up, be responsible, and truly appreciate your parents instead of just relying on them.
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Rampant.
What do you do when you feel as though your kindness and generosity are being taken advantage of? What do you do when there is a lack of gratitude from someone who should be extremely appreciative of the way you have bent over backwards for them?
I think most of us don’t do things for others because we want to be celebrated. I don’t think we do things for others because we are looking for publicity or because we want accolades. We do things for others because we see a need and want to meet it. For some of us, it’s in our nature. For others, well, we have to work at it on a regular basis.
But, how do you handle a situation where you stepped out of what your “normal” everyday life is like, to rearrange and disrupt your life for a while, to help someone out only to have them act in a way that shows little to no gratitude or actually appears they are taking advantage of the situation?
Yeah, strangers likely wouldn’t act this way.
Family? Family, on the other hand, usually does.
I found out last night that appearances aren’t what they seem and there has been some talking going on behind that back of some family members about other family members. Mind you, the secretive discussions are from those who are getting help (and desperately needed it at the time) about those who are giving the help (who saw the need and stepped in to help despite major misgivings).
Seems a bit shocking, doesn’t it? It actually doesn’t really surprise me. I mean it does, and it doesn’t. That has been the trend all along. Family bends over backwards to help other family members, only to find out that it cause issues inside the family and causes the ones helping to regret they helped.
Lessons learned? You would think so, but no. That’s the problem with having a generous, helping heart.
Ingratitude. Expectation. Greed. Under-appreciation. Irresponsibility.
It’s cliche, but that phrase “Looking a gift horse in the mouth” actually does mean something.
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It really sucks to see stuff happen to people.
But then again, there’s a reason the phrase “I told you so” often comes up in conversations after the fact. So, maybe it doesn’t suck. Dare I say it’s deserved?
It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone may (or may not have) ask for advice and you give it, and they ignore it. Then, almost as predictable as a fat kid near cake, what you predicted would happen happens and the only thing you can do is shake your head and bit your tongue as you think, “I told you so.”
When you ask someone with more life experience and they give you advice I would recommend you listen. Don’t just ask because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are looking for confirmation on the answer you want to hear. And if you don’t hear the answer you are looking for, certainly don’t go charging into the *insert problem/issue/dilemma/etc. here* without some serious other considerations. Ask more people. Sleep on it. Consider other options. Change course and see if something else will happen or something better comes about.
I hate being right.
No, actually, I don’t. I like being right.
Call me a jerk, if you want. But deep down, I know you like it too. And, secretly, we all like to be vindicated when we give advice and someone ignores it.
Are we bad people? No.
Should we celebrate in it? No. But we can secretly break our own arms patting ourselves on the back…go ahead and do it.
Feels nice, right?
At least that is better than sitting in public, pointing, and laughing. Of course, there may be a place for that too. But that’s a topic for another day.
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I’m late.
Sorry.
The day got away from me. I started working on a project for work and just lost track of time. I supposed that means I won’t Piss and Moan about anything…
Or maybe I will!
Life sucking, or money sucking, family members.
There. How do you feel about that?
There are members of families all over the world that seem to be the parasite, a leech, a blight upon the family. The neediness doesn’t stop and when some people in the family try to stop it, others of the family continue to enable it.
It might be the individual’s fault, or maybe just bad luck (or no luck at all), or maybe they are just the victim of circumstances, doesn’t really matter because they still seem to need something all the time. Want. Need. Whatever. Hand’s always out, looking for something.
“Help.” “Can you lend a hand?” “I was wondering…?” The approach may be different and sometimes it’s even a little veiled to make it look like they aren’t asking for help, but in reality they are. It’s always the same, but different.
Tiring. That’s what it is.
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Despise.
Irritation.
Annoyance.
Let’s just say, I don’t like it when people wait till the last minute to do something and then act like it is everyone else’s fault when it doesn’t get done on time. Oh, and they take it out on everyone around too!
Like seriously? You had all freaking day to get it started. It’s not like the schedule right now had ya so busy that you didn’t have time. So why exactly did you wait until the last minute to get started?
Want me to help? OK. Fine. I can do that. Wait? Gonna yell at me because of the way I am helping? OK. I’m out. I’m done. Handle it yourself. I’ll be over here minding my own business while you scramble to correct your procrastination. Good luck with that.
Co-workers? Spouse? Kids? Extended family? All of them – check!
What is with people? Why do they do it to themselves, let alone others?
Anyone else had it up to their ears with these kinds of issues? Especially these days since our daily lives and schedules aren’t as full as they used to be?
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Vacation, Day 5:
The last day of official vacation.
It has been one for the record books. Not so much that it was epic but more like it was about as uneventful and boring as if I was sitting at home on the couch. Oh wait! I was doing that…mostly.
Today’s plans? More of the same. The sun is out but should I be optimistic about sticking around? Come on, do you know me by now or what? LOL Maybe I’ll go for a drive and reacquaint myself with some countryside I have seen in a while. Maybe not.
The only thing that isn’t the same today is that it is my youngest’s birthday. She is 17 today. There was already a Zoom birthday party for her in the middle of last week (queue the cancelled vacation plans this week), so I am not even sure I’ll get to see her today other than virtually. That sucks, but as she is getting older with more responsibilities so I know it will become more common regardless of a lockdown or not. Still, not sure what today holds for that and her.
I am pretty sure I’ll end today with a fire and a beer. Can’t decide if the fire should be in the fire pit or just set the house on fire and enjoy the fireworks from the front lawn.
This was the most uneventful and worst vacation ever.
This “stay at home” order is killing me. Well, actually it may end up killing others in the house…
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY SNACKS!
Little people. Adults. Adults in charge of little people. I don’t care. These are mine and I don’t want you touching them or eating them or moving them or anything else.
I know what you are thinking. “He still has snacks left?”
That’s a fair question.
I had a personal stash that I didn’t tell anyone about. But someone caught me hunkered down in a corner eating a tasty morsel and the curiosity began…
Thus, my own little pot-o-gold for times of telecommuting in the garage has been sniffed out. Honestly, the stash was getting a little thin after two weeks of telecommuting and I am not sure how I could sneak more into the house…leaving the house is suspicious, for obvious reasons, and if I return and skulk back into the garage carrying grocery bags it is going to be even more suspicious.
This whole event has caused me to view the eating habits of a few people in the house and can say that I don’t like it. The munching, the crunching, the gobbling, the face stuffing, the pie-hole gorging are starting to irritate me. Do I really need to feed all these people? Who can I vote off the island? Who can I sacrifice and live without?
Anyone else feel like Gollum from “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings” when it comes to their snacks?
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Why should a small minority dictate to the majority what is appropriate and acceptable, or what is not?
Case in point: schools are closed in WA and they are trying to figure out how to go forward as this corona virus thing continues. It was communicated out from OSPI (our state superintendent’s office) that districts couldn’t continue to educate their students if they couldn’t guarantee “equity” for all students it serves. Or, at least, they couldn’t require students to attend because of equity (lack of internet, ELL, SpEd, etc.).
OK, on the surface, that makes sense and it looks great on the PR side of things. However, it doesn’t make sense when you start looking at the numbers. That closer look ends up making the policy a complete “F” in my book.
The closer look:
So, we’re not going to educate 90% of the students because 10% can’t participate because of various challenges?
What if it was 50/50? Is that still too low to continue offering education to those who can participate? You can play with the numbers however you like, but at just about any point you can’t justify depriving a larger group of people from something because of a smaller group. It just doesn’t make any sense.
Do you scuttle the sailboat because there is no wind?
Do you throw out the baby with the bathwater?
Do you cut off your hand because you got a splinter in your little finger?
Do you cut off your foot because you broke a toe?
Do you demolish an entire building because a couple rooms in it aren’t or can’t be occupied?
Catch my drift?
Why do we let small groups of people dictate what happens with the larger groups? Seems a bit backwards, doesn’t it?
Remember the saying, “Greatest good for the greatest number“? Why doesn’t that apply these days? Or any day? How did we get so far away from an idea that mostly works?Sure, I know we have to make sure the “minority” group doesn’t get abused by those who are more powerful or has the most resources, but there is still something true about this thought:
What is the greater good when it comes to educating our students?
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The days are starting to run together. What day is it again? Oh, yeah, Thursday…is it March still?…the 26th…OK, got it. They days are starting to all look the same. The routine has become monotonous and stale.
Is it much different than previously? Well, a little. Typically I would be getting up, heading to work, doing work while interacting with co-workers, heading home after work, having some hang out time, then going to bed.
Now? Well, now it is get up, wander to the garage home office, work all day while seeing nearly no one (some virtual meetings), wander back up the steps from the garage into the house for some hang out time, and then bed.
Notice the difference? People. Socialization. The out of doors (even if only from car to building/building to car). The key component here is I miss people…even though people, in general, piss me off and I dislike them. I know, I am “mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma.” I can’t explain it. Maybe it is only certain people I miss. OK, YES, for sure it is that. There are certain people I miss – way more than most!
Anyway, what are you doing to keep the days feeling like they are on repeat? How are you keeping track of the days? What has been your favorite thing to do since being confined to “life in a bubble”?
Piss and Moan 