Lack of memory

road landscape nature forest

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Rain.

We have it here in the Pacific Northwest about nine months of the year. Yeah, it’s probably less than that, but it sure feels that way at times. Anyway, it’s something we have a lot of and we spent a good portion of our year getting it.

So why, when summer ends and the rain returns, do NW drivers have such a hard time remembering how to drive in the stuff? It’s not like it’s a mystery and it isn’t a new skill that has to be obtained. This should be “old hat” by now!

Seriously, people, get a grip on that steering wheel and slow down. It won’t hurt you unless you’re stupid…

Maybe what little optimism I have is being too generous.

I keep hoping.

I’ll stop.

Fall colors = a close simulation of hell

nature red forest leaves

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“Ooh they’re so pretty!”

“I just love fall. Crisp air and all the pretty colors on the trees.”

…said no one ever! Well, at least by someone who has the major task of raking all that “pretty fall color” out of their yard. Or, if you are in the Northwest, there is the forever piles of pine needles clogging up everything in sight! Sheesh.

As long as the days are dry and the weather is moderately mild, you can cheat and blow them outta the yard into your neighbor’s yard fairly easily. Once it get wet, as in rain, you need a freaking jet engine to blow them things loose.

So, if you don’t (or can’t) stay on top of the task, you are left raking – back busting, blister inducing, getting all wet and cold hell. After hours of sweating and bagging, you can see the lawn. And then the next wind storm comes and the process starts all over again. Welcome to fall hell…

Trees suck. We should cut them all down.

Don’t make me carve another

boy and girl playing with pumpkins

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Yeah, it’s THAT time of year again. I already mentioned one of the terrible things we have to enjoy during this season, but there is another similarly related item.

Pumpkin carving. Ugh…

I am sure I enjoyed it to some degree when I was a kid, and yes there is a degree of “tradition” involved. The whole trip tot he patch and walking in the mud and getting hot cider, etc. I get it.

But these days, I could care less. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to help the kids do it. I don’t want to help the grandkids do it. I don’t want to do it. You can’t make me do it.

There I said it.

Yes, I am heartless. The Grinch is my spirit animal. Always.

 

It’s just too much

jack o lantern

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Can we just stop already? This has just gotten totally outta hand!

Is anyone else tired of the “Pumpkin Spice” takeover of the world?

I mean really, does EVERYTHING need to have pumpkin spice in it?

See here, here, and here. Oh, and here and over there.

Enough already. Seriously. No one likes it that much. No one.

Kids’ sports and rain

black and white hand raining

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Why does my kid have to like soccer? Why can’t it be an indoor sport?

Yes, I know, soccer can be played indoors too but the reality is that more often than not it is played outdoors, where it rains, a lot.

As a parent, and I don’t care how much you love your kids, it totally sucks to sit/stand/wait on the sidelines while it is pouring down rain. What’s worse, it is also cold (as in under 40 degrees) and the wind is blowing. Doesn’t matter if you have an umbrella or not, you’re getting wet. Period. Yeah, so cold sideways rain is just fun…never.

Find a different sport, kid, preferably one that involves warmth and is dry.

Shorter days

birds flying over body of water during golden hour

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Can someone just hold on a minute?

Why do we need to have shorter days already? I am not done with summer and the ever encroaching of darkness is pissing me off. I got stuff to do and the darkness is in the way.

Season change blah blah blah…dark at 4:00pm. WTH?

Longer days. You know, the ones where it gets dark like at 9:30pm. I like those. Let’s just do that all the time and call it good!