Flavored coffee

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Why oh why?

Let me clarify, if you want to put flavored creamer into your coffee I think that is perfectly acceptable. However, flavoring the actual coffee grounds seems like weird practice. Mostly because I have now seen some of the strangest combinations of flavors in the office I work in.

I have co-workers who apparently like to try different kinds of flavored coffee. I have mentioned one of these in the past. I have yet come across another completely weird and out of character coffee flavor, at least I think so.

When you think of Death Wish Coffee Company’s coffee you envision an ultra-strong, no frills, no nonsense kind of coffee (at least I do). I have had their original coffee and it was strong and hit the spot. I liked it because it lived up to it’s name.

But, the other day I was at the office coffee maker when I saw someone had use a coffee pod that was a Death Wish Coffee Company’s Pumpkin Chai flavored coffee.

Image. Destoyed. Busted. Deflated.

Frilly, trend-following, wimpy coffee. At least that was what suddenly came across my mind.

I know because I said something to someone about it and magically a pod appeared on my desk later in the day with a note saying to “Try it.”

I did. Opinion not changed. Thankfully the chai flavor was stronger than the pumpkin, but overall wasn’t impressed.

I went out to their website and see that this appears to be the only flavored offereing. Sure, they have other “flavors” but they are more like the original with variations on strength and blends.

Anyway, have you seen this stuff? Tried it? Do you think it holds with the percieved image of the company?

Bottom flavors

OK, first world problem here….but dang it already, something needs to be done about this!

Raise your hand if you have gone to Dairy Queen and ordered a Blizzard of your favorite flavor. My favorite flavor happens to be Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, but that isn’t really the point here. In this case I am going to Piss and Moan about, I ordered the new Drumstick with Peanuts flavor. Again, that is not really the point here.

The REAL point here is that when you order a Blizzard and you are enjoying it because of all the tasty flavor pieces in the ice cream is just awesome, only to get to the bottom of the Blizzard and find no flavor whatsoever. NONE! Two-thirds of the Blizzard cup is a great blend of vanilla ice cream and whatever flavor you ordered, but the bottom third of the cup is just plain vanilla ice cream.

This is rather irritating. No, not rather, it is very irritating.

I want flavor ALL THE WAY to the bottom.

This can’t be that hard of a thing to do. Seriously, DQ, get it right.

Put a scoop of flavor on the bottom of the cup, put in some ice cream, another layer of flavor, more ice cream, final layer of flavor. Mix.

See how easy that would be to solve this seriously tasteless bottom of the Blizzard issue? Who the heck is over there in the corporate offices letting this happen? I am sure it has been an issue for years and years, so why haven’t they solved it? I’ll tell you why. Because they don’t care. People still buy the things and the outrage hasn’t been enough to make them listen.

It’s time to boycott Blizzards and DQ until they fix this. No more. It’s the 21st century and technology exists to fix it. It has to be possible.

Boycott Blizzards and DQ.

Tweet it on Twitter. Tik Tok it. Post it on social media everywhere. Gram it on Instagram. Make a story on your choice of social media.

Make it go viral.

That’s the only way they will listen.

Whose fault?

Alright, it’s time to find out who is to blame for this stuff. I analyze software as part of my job, but I have always been an analyst of sorts – even as a history teacher. Now, I am all about “root cause” and, frankly, I wanna know who to blame for the travesty that is grossly flavored coffee beans.

Who wakes up one morning and says, “Ya know, I think I would like some carrot cake coffee.” If you thought that, I call BS. This back of coffee grounds showed up by the community coffee maker and now I have to look at it every time I go to get more coffee. Why are they sharing it with others?

So, who is ultimately to blame for the existence of such crap? Is it the person/company that makes the beans, or is it the consumer who actually spends good money on the final product?

Would you buy this…garbage? If you would, WHY would you? I certainly wouldn’t, as I am sure you can tell by now.

Put a vote in to comments about who is to blame, company or consumer? What other gross flavors have you seen on the store shelves and thought, “WTH?”

Water is boring

clean clear cold drink

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What’s with water anyway?

Why is it so tasteless? Yes, I know that is a generalization and all water has a little something (chemicals/minerals/etc) that give it a “taste,” but it isn’t really a taste at the same time.

Drink more water they say…

OK, can you make it taste better without me going through the effort of adding something too it? It is just too much work. How about it just come out of the tap or, better yet, the dispenser in the fridge with some flavor?

Damn, I should patent this idea immediately! Soda machines let you choose the flavor of soda (who knew there were 435 *exaggeration* different flavors of Coke?), so why can’t my fridge do the same thing (some on Samsung, innovate that! I want credit though)? I press a button and the water that fills my bottle has a hint of lemon or a hint of lime or a hint of blackberry or a hint of mint (ewww) or a hint of fruit punch or whatever you think would be nice.

Make it happen people!

Otherwise, plain water is boring and I don’t want to drink it. But I do, reluctantly and begrudgingly.