New decade

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It’s a milestone I guess. Or maybe a millstone. Eh, let’s go with milestone.

I am entering a new decade as of today.

50.

Nothing seems different, yet it does. Today is really the same as it was yesterday. I am not sure how I feel about it.

When I turned 40 I didn’t think it was all that big a deal. Now that I am 50, as of today, I would like to think it isn’t that big a deal yet there is something in the back of my head that makes me feel like its a big deal. Guess its hard to explain.

I know that my brain doesn’t feel 50. My brain tells me all the time that I am not old and I can do all kinds of things that I did when I was a lot younger. However, my body keeps telling me something different. My brain says, “Do it! You still got it!” My body says, “Go ahead, punk. Do you feel lucky?”

As an example, this week leading up to the big day there were close calls that made me think this old thing could get really old really fast…I was on a two step stool putting at canvas print on the mantle above the fireplace. I had just balanced it and was starting back down the stool steps and suddenly the canvas tipped and clocked me on the top of the head. Obviously, I wasn’t prepared for this so the surprise of being struck in the head was enough of a distraction that I missed the middle step and landed directly on the floor. Again, this was a surprise on the other end of the body and my knee didn’t like that so it promptly hyper-extended as celebration for finding the floor earlier than expected. I was hobbled for a day or two.

Is this what getting old feels like all the time? Minor aches and pains suddenly become something bigger and more concerning? The aches and pains happen more often and more quickly?

Well, cheers to getting older and hello AARP…

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Old sport

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Over the weekend I tried a sport/game (whatever you wanna classify it as) that I hadn’t really done since college. It’s a novel sport, as in it doesn’t enjoy widespread popularity but is becoming more and more popular. How do I know? Well, you are probably seeing these weird contraptions show up in public parks – a wire and chain basket on a pole.

Disc golf.

I had a friend in college who was an avid disc golf fan and he always managed to get a group of us out to go play with him. It was fun, but I wasn’t sure at the time that I really liked it.

I liked actual golf better. Let’s just say that.

Anyway, I had a friend invite me out for a round of disc golf over the weekend. I hadn’t really considered it, even though I am seeing those baskets all over the place now. So, I said yes.

We met at the park. There is a learning curve and technique to the game. But, I had fun. And it got me off the couch and outta the house. A win-win.

What I didn’t realize would happen is that I am an OLD sport, meaning that I am really sore today (two days after the fact). My arm and shoulder are not used to that motion and I am fully aware of those parts of my body today as they scream at me even while moving my arm to type.

Old.

The reality of being able to recover quickly from activity just isn’t the case any more. I miss those days. But, it’s reality today.

I am sport, just an old sport.

Father Time

black gift box

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Another trip around the sun.

Another drop in the bucket.

One foot farther into the grave.

Picking up speed on the other side of the hill.

It doesn’t matter how you put it, birthdays just aren’t really all that much fun. Maybe it’s just me.

Sure, I get the celebration part and I am not really a fatalist, so it isn’t that big a deal.

BUT, I can tell you another year older and being sick at the same time is kinda beating me up today. I really just wanna sit in a dark room, watch movies or play video games, and not interact with anyone unless I have given prior approval.

No such luck.

People are everywhere. There is too much light. I am coughing up a storm (I am not contagious any longer), and work is much too busy.

Yes, OK, I get it Father Time. You win.

But, I might just take a nap in my car and you can’t stop me…

Getting real old

man hands waiting senior

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This last weekend was for the ages.

I went to two birthday parties for old people. My grandmother turned 90 and my father-in-law turned 79.

This isn’t really a complaint about relatives getting old. I love them. But what it is a complaint about is that people are getting old, and that just means the inevitable is getting closer…and I don’t like it.

Not only is it getting closer for them (it’s hard to admit, because really it could be any time), but it is getting closer for me too. That’s the frightening thing.

Not that I am scare of death. I know where my Peace is.

But, I am scared because there seems like there just isn’t enough time and there are places I want to go and things I want to do and suddenly I feel selfish because I feel like I have to let those things go. I am scared because there are things that will happen in the future that I might not get to see, experience, enjoy with my daughter (and grand kids, when she has them in the future). Time just keeps on ticking and often I think I am no closer to some of my goals now, than I was 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago.

I look at the people I love in my life and they’re getting old and time with them is slipping by. There aren’t as many at family gatherings as there used to be. Oh, to have that time back, right? Just make the best of it now. Cherish it.

Getting old is getting really old. My body feels it. My mind knows it. My eyes see it.

How do I move forward and make it not feel this way?


 

Do you worry about getting old? Do you wonder what will happen in the next 10-20 years for you? What do you take solace in?

New car clean

automobiles automotives black and white black and white

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You know how bright and shiny that car looked when it came off the lot? You know, sparkling, dust free interior, the chromy parts chroming, and the black plastic on the outside hasn’t started to fade to gray…

Is it ever like that again? I mean for a BRAND SPANKING NEW CAR?

Probably not. I don’t have time to wash it daily and I don’t have time to clean the inside on even a weekly basis…so it gets dirty, like the car I just got rid of. That old car rarely got washed and rarely got cleaned on the inside. I mean, it was old, so who cares, right?

But this new car…can I just put a bubble around it?

All I want is for it to stay clean!

I’m too old for this

relaxation forest break camping

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I recently attended a mini family reunion on the other side of the state. It was a quick one, just over a weekend so two nights was all I was staying. I was also going alone, kids were busy and wife had to work, so I didn’t need to take the usual stuff. I wanted to travel light and quickly.

So, I threw a few camping type supplies into the car and some clothes, and off I went. Tent, sleeping bag, clothes, food.

Well, I regretted “go light” as soon as I climbed into the tent to sleep. I didn’t include the usual stuff like a sleeping pad or an air mattress, like I would have if someone else was along with me. What was I thinking?

My body doesn’t handle the same things it could when I was younger. Apparently my brain thinks I am still young enough to do this crap, my body obviously let me know that wasn’t the case. Comfort? Yeah, not so much. Sleeping on the ground and having an old body (or at least feeling old) just doesn’t add up to much sleep.

Lesson learned? Take the comfortable stuff. It isn’t over-rated.