Remember that old saying, something about a “bottomless pit“?
How about we fill that bottomless pit with coffee?? Can there ever be enough coffee?
I mean, seriously, how am I gonna survive today…
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We’re all to blame for this, and we’re all dumber because of it.
Why do we constantly have to be bombarded with the opinions and thoughts of celebrities, former government officials, psuedo-celebs, and athletes? Oh, wait, because we show interest in what they say instead of being indifferent to their opinions.
I tell ya, I am tired of hearing from celebs who think we need to know their opinions. Former presidents endorsing political candidates. Musicians campaigning for politicians. Movie stars telling us what they think about social issues. Former FBI directors telling us whether or not an investigation is legit. B-level celebs making videos about the environment and what we should do about it. Former vice presidents touring the country giving speeches about pet projects. Etc., etc., etc.,…
Good, lord, its amazing we have survived this long.
Wanna make America great again? Stop listening to people who think they’re great. Better yet, stop helping people who think they’re great become great by listening to them.
Ya’ll should be ashamed of yourselves.
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I am little overwhelmed at the moment.
Can I just take the day off from anything that has a major decision involved? Can I just take the day off from responsibility?
Anyone have any suggestions for getting away from it all?
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OK, I know this is cliche. I know this is a generalization. I know this has been my experience in EVERY car purchase I have ever made, so I am pretty sure others have it as well.
It is universally known that car salesmen are the worst! I am sure every comedian has probably covered this topic so I am not exploring any new ground here, but I am gonna throw in my two cents.
They perch themselves up near the front entrance of the dealership, waiting and watching for any movement on the lot. They respond to email inquiries and bang out phone calls to people who have shown even the remotest interest in one of their cars. When a customer finds it’s way onto the property they flap their wings and decide who gets to approach the potential meal.
They leave the perch and saunter over near the customer trying not to look too eager. They circle, make small talk, and assess the situation. They wait for the customer to show signs of weakness or excitement about a vehicle.
Then they swoop in and land near their prey. As you fight to maintain the upper hand, they wait you out until you finally give in. You offer, they counter. You offer again, they counter again. Then, when you appear weak, another one swoops in to add more pressure. More offers, more pressure. You’re gasping, breathing hard and trying to hang on to the little life you have left, but there are now two vultures waiting, waiting to see last breaths of hesitation escape from your lungs as you agree to the purchase.
Now they feast! There is a flurry of feathers and papers and the next thing you know you are standing in your driveway with keys to a new car and buyers remorse.
Good luck out there!
Nothing reminds you of this fact more than when you begin your new car search. The process is the same on every single lot. Sure, the names of the dealerships change as you shop around and look for the best deal, but the process is the same. The behavior is the same. It is so predictable.
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Everyone has skeletons. This is a fact.
No one is perfect. We all have things in our past that we likely regret. We all have things in our past we would rather not have others know about. We all have things in our past that we’re embarrassed about. We all have things in our past we would probably like to take back or change.
The expectation that those who are in the public life, whether in government service or celebrity, be perfect and have no skeletons in their past is absurd. This is an impossible standard and one that no one can meet. Quite frankly, we, the American public, should be ashamed of ourselves for expecting this standard and for mistakenly trying to create it. Not all skeletons can be ignored and some most definitely shouldn’t be; however, there is also a limit to what should be considered when determining the true character of a person. Time and behavior have to be considered. Character isn’t built in a day, for good reason.
If you have ever considered a public life, or even if you haven’t considered it but some how end up with one, you better keep your head down. “They” are coming for you! It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’ve done, how long ago it was, or even what side you’re on. “They” are gonna find you and get you. It doesn’t take evidence. It doesn’t take witnesses. It doesn’t take corroboration. It just takes accusations and allegations. No proof needed. It doesn’t matter if you’re innocent or not, maybe the skeleton doesn’t even exist. No matter. “They” are gonna get you!
Our Founders are rolling over in their graves. None of them were perfect, but at least they understood that about others nor did they expect it.
If you are currently in a place of power, in the government, a celebrity (major or minor), or just a regular person…you should just stop doing whatever you’re doing and resign. Go live in a hole and interact with no one, because eventually your skeletons will come out of the closet and no one is exempt from being haunted by them.
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What’s with water anyway?
Why is it so tasteless? Yes, I know that is a generalization and all water has a little something (chemicals/minerals/etc) that give it a “taste,” but it isn’t really a taste at the same time.
Drink more water they say…
OK, can you make it taste better without me going through the effort of adding something too it? It is just too much work. How about it just come out of the tap or, better yet, the dispenser in the fridge with some flavor?
Damn, I should patent this idea immediately! Soda machines let you choose the flavor of soda (who knew there were 435 *exaggeration* different flavors of Coke?), so why can’t my fridge do the same thing (some on Samsung, innovate that! I want credit though)? I press a button and the water that fills my bottle has a hint of lemon or a hint of lime or a hint of blackberry or a hint of mint (ewww) or a hint of fruit punch or whatever you think would be nice.
Make it happen people!
Otherwise, plain water is boring and I don’t want to drink it. But I do, reluctantly and begrudgingly.
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Electric cars.
I think they would be more prevalent if people weren’t so worried about distance it could travel and charging it. I think those two things are sort of intertwined.
I guess I have always wondered why you have to plug the thing in in the first place. Why? If there is technology out there that will make high rise windows into charging panels, why can’t that be incorporated into automobiles? Or if Tesla can make solar roofing tiles and turn the whole rooftop into something that charges your home, why can’t it make the hood (or roof) of your car out of the same material?
I know, it takes a lot of time to recharge and I know (I asked this once of a smarter friend) that it would take a huge amount of charging to make a car work from such limited charging capability. He asked, “Would the cost be worth it?” My answer was that I didn’t know because apparently no one has tried, isn’t some charge better than no charge, and eventually cost would come down because that is what happens with tech as it improves.
Here’s the thing, most people’s cars spend most of the day sitting around, either in the driveway or in a parking lot somewhere. Why can’t it be recharging at the same time without having to be plugged in?
Things that make you go, hmmmmm.
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Our neighbors from the northern land!
Improve your driving we shall command.
Your lack of skill comes as no surprise,
Violate the laws and you won’t be free!
From the border you come,
O Canada, you speed on the freeway.
God you’re rude and pushy too!
O Canada, we won’t stand to let you speed.
O Canada, we won’t let you speed for free.
A little ode for our Canadian neighbors, sung to the tune of their national anthem. If you live in the upper left corner of the United States, you can totally relate to this little ditty. Shoot, if you live anywhere within reach of the Canadian border, you can probably relate. Am I wrong?
Total generalization here, but the general consensus (or commonly held stereotype) is that Canadians are generally a docile and friendly people. If you are actually IN Canada, I have found this to be true for the most part. They are nice people. However, in my experience, the are not great drivers.
Once they cross that border in the US, that stereotype goes away and another becomes the reality. They apparently forget all rules of the road and all manners while shopping. If you live within 200 miles of the border in Washington, this is a well known fact.
Reality is that Canadians are rude and self-absorbed. Two areas this is blatantly obvious: driving and shopping. This is displayed in driving because they speed, weave in and out of traffic, cut people off, tailgate, and otherwise display poor behavior with abandon because there is apparently no consequence for it, even when they get pulled over. The other area is shopping. The clog up our stores (especially close to the border) and purchase weird amounts of milk and gas (can we thank socialism and price controls for that?). They are pushy. They are usually very loud. They sometimes appear to not even understand the purchasing process…I mean, really?
So, how about we try this? Shop online and we’ll ship it too you. We want your money, but we can do without the bad driving and invasion of our stores every time you have a holiday in the land of maple syrup and Mounties.
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The downfall of society is coming (well, some would argue it is already here).
Dramatic much? No, I don’t think so.
Language is important. Unfortunately, people are lazy and that translates to poor language skills, as well as a plethora of other bad habits. So, what is the deal with the lack of punctuation in nearly every social media platform? Yes, the option to punctuate is available but it seems fewer and fewer people are choosing to do so. Maybe we can blame it on Twitter – 140 characters is rather limiting and why waste it on punctuation? I get it, but at the same time it isn’t cool.
Grandmothers and small children are being eaten, for the love of everything holy! Some classic examples of why punctuation is important:
“Let’s eat grandma!” vs. “Let’s eat, grandma!”
“We just ate Timmy.” vs. “We just ate, Timmy.”
Oh, and while we’re at it, how about we throw in some capitalization as well?
Anyway, I read an article not long ago that said if I use punctuation in text messages, like a period at the end of the sentence, that I am angry. WTH? Who made up these stupid rules? That’s a pretty big ASSumption to make when I am just using the rules of writing because I don’t want to look like an uneducated dumbsh*t. Got me?
its the little things people and little things matter we ignore the little things and i just dont think were going to recover from this catastrophe see what i mean its annoying isnt it dont make up rules just cuz youre freaking lazy to write properly
Punctuate. Communicate properly.
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So, apparently, there are people out there with nothing better.
Nothing better to do than engage you in an effort to try and pick a fight on the internet.
I believe they call them “trolls” these days.
Obviously, you can’t avoid them completely, especially if you have an opinion and express it. I know we all have one now and again, and we express them knowing full well that you may be entangled in an argument that will go nowhere but in circles. Yeah, that’s fun…just like a ferris wheel only dumber.
I especially love those kind of trolls that seek you out and ask you questions just so they can try to “get you”. Not gonna do it. Crawl back under your bridge or rock, into your hole, walk back down into your dark and dank basement (we all know where you are, really).
Please, continue to live out your existence lonely and in your underpants.
Piss and Moan 