Research shows, Piss and Moan is good for you.

Angry? Cynical? Pessimist? Grumpy? Ill-tempered?

All good for you, according to research.

Since we’re so into science these days and scientists know all, and should be trusted at all times, so you know this is quality stuff. How could they possibly be wrong? Well, honestly, they’re not. They know their stuff!

So, Bobby McFerrin, you can take your “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and shove it! According to research, that crap is bad for your health and is more likely to kill you.

Need some help getting into the Piss and Moan mood? I have a few helpful hints to get you there, because I am also an expert in this area.

Try these responses to common, courtesy phrases:

They say: “Good morning!”  /  Your response: “What’s good about it?”

They say: “Have a nice day!”  /  Your response: “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Try these thoughts as you go out in public:

Good grief, people are really stupid.

You know, if half these people died right now I wouldn’t miss them.

Based on today’s display of humanity, would pre-historic times really have been that bad?

Try these thoughts about family:

They say: “We’re coming over.”  /  Your response: “Do you really have to?”

When, for all that is holy, can I stop parenting for 20 minutes?

How are these losers really my kids?

I’m not really genetically related to these people, am I?

You say: “Can you all just leave now?”  /  They say: “But, we haven’t been here that long.”

See how easy that is? Piss and Moan more. It has been validated and scientifically proven to be good for you.

You’re welcome.