Celebri-Don’t talk to me!

megaphone speakers on wooden post

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We’re all to blame for this, and we’re all dumber because of it.

Why do we constantly have to be bombarded with the opinions and thoughts of celebrities, former government officials, psuedo-celebs, and athletes? Oh, wait, because we show interest in what they say instead of being indifferent to their opinions.

I tell ya, I am tired of hearing from celebs who think we need to know their opinions. Former presidents endorsing political candidates. Musicians campaigning for politicians. Movie stars telling us what they think about social issues. Former FBI directors telling us whether or not an investigation is legit. B-level celebs making videos about the environment and what we should do about it. Former vice presidents touring the country giving speeches about pet projects. Etc., etc., etc.,…

Good, lord, its amazing we have survived this long.

Wanna make America great again? Stop listening to people who think they’re great. Better yet, stop helping people who think they’re great become great by listening to them.

Ya’ll should be ashamed of yourselves.

Car salesmen are the worst

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OK, I know this is cliche. I know this is a generalization. I know this has been my experience in EVERY car purchase I have ever made, so I am pretty sure others have it as well.

It is universally known that car salesmen are the worst! I am sure every comedian has probably covered this topic so I am not exploring any new ground here, but I am gonna throw in my two cents.

Car salesmen are the vultures of society.

They perch themselves up near the front entrance of the dealership, waiting and watching for any movement on the lot. They respond to email inquiries and bang out phone calls to people who have shown even the remotest interest in one of their cars. When a customer finds it’s way onto the property they flap their wings and decide who gets to approach the potential meal.

They leave the perch and saunter over near the customer trying not to look too eager. They circle, make small talk, and assess the situation. They wait for the customer to show signs of weakness or excitement about a vehicle.

Then they swoop in and land near their prey. As you fight to maintain the upper hand, they wait you out until you finally give in. You offer, they counter. You offer again, they counter again. Then, when you appear weak, another one swoops in to add more pressure. More offers, more pressure. You’re gasping, breathing hard and trying to hang on to the little life you have left, but there are now two vultures waiting, waiting to see last breaths of hesitation escape from your lungs as you agree to the purchase.

Now they feast! There is a flurry of feathers and papers and the next thing you know you are standing in your driveway with keys to a new car and buyers remorse.

Good luck out there!

Nothing reminds you of this fact more than when you begin your new car search. The process is the same on every single lot. Sure, the names of the dealerships change as you shop around and look for the best deal, but the process is the same. The behavior is the same. It is so predictable.

Price match please!

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Competition is rough these days! Retail stores, brick & mortar vs. online, are in a battle to get your dollars because there are so many choices out there. Most stores, in order to overcome the competition, will do just about anything to get your business once you’re in the store, so many of them will price match identical goods found at other stores just so they can capture your money before you walk out the door.

Walmart won’t even match it’s own online price!

Yesterday was the strangest experience I have had as a consumer in quite a while.

My daughter wanted to buy “Grand Theft Auto V” and she was going to just buy it online from the Microsoft store as a digital download for $29.99. I said she should check around first to see if she can get a better price since it has been out for a while. So she did. As it turns out, there were several stores who had it on sale – Walmart and Game Stop, just to name a couple.

So, we jumped in the car and headed out to Walmart. We located the game in their electronics section in two place, neither of which indicated the online price as seen above. One was priced at $29.98 and the other one was priced at $59.98. These are the same game, mind you…

We asked for some help, showed the employee the price on the phone, he looked in the locked case and said something to the effect of “Well, we just updated prices so that is a bit of a mystery.” He pulled out both items at different prices and we went to do a price check. Both came up as marked. Wait, what?!? So, I asked if we could get the price as indicated online and he looked at my phone again, scrolled through the listing and said, “It must be an online only special.”

I was like, “It doesn’t say that anywhere. If it were online only, it would say that wouldn’t it?”

His response was, “It usually does.”

So, again, I asked if they would honor online price.

He said, “I don’t have the authority to do that but if you want to order it online then you could pick it up at the front of the store.” REALLY???? You’re gonna go there?

I asked for a manager. He said he called one. We waited for 15 minutes and still no manager. I asked if one was coming. He said they should be but they have to do “rounds” before they can get there.

I called Game Stop, verified they had the game in stock, left Walmart, and she spent her money there instead. No hassle.

When the physical store can’t (any employee should have this ability) to match it’s own online store price, you have a problem.

Walmart versus Walmart.com – both losers in my book!

Apparently you’ve got nothing better to do

ball shaped dark grass hole

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So, apparently, there are people out there with nothing better.

Nothing better to do than engage you in an effort to try and pick a fight on the internet.

I believe they call them “trolls” these days.

Obviously, you can’t avoid them completely, especially if you have an opinion and express it. I know we all have one now and again, and we express them knowing full well that you may be entangled in an argument that will go nowhere but in circles. Yeah, that’s fun…just like a ferris wheel only dumber.

I especially love those kind of trolls that seek you out and ask you questions just so they can try to “get you”. Not gonna do it. Crawl back under your bridge or rock, into your hole, walk back down into your dark and dank basement (we all know where you are, really).

Please, continue to live out your existence lonely and in your underpants.

Intentions are the best

So, you know that saying that goes something like, “Only the best intentions”? Uh huh…

Actually, intentions are only that, intentions. Qualifying them as “best” means that those intention probably fell short. Really, if you think about it, anytime anyone uses the word “intend” they are actually admitting that they failed. They didn’t hit the mark. So when someone says they only had “the best intentions in mind” then they are admitting that their best didn’t come out and the best is still in their head.

So, I have to admit…I have the best intentions to get a post out earlier today. Actually, that isn’t the truth either, I actually intended to write a post and then schedule it so it would post this morning but it didn’t happen. Life and work have hit an intersection and my best intentions didn’t get ahead of them. As I write this, late in the day I have intentions of writing tomorrow’s post too. Well, intend to make that happen…

Man, I hate intentions.

#smh

The only safe place on Earth

alone bed bedroom blur

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Monday morning and there seems to be only one safe place left on Earth. Ok, to be fair, each of us only has one safe place left…

BED.

I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do anything today. I don’t want to see people. I don’t want to talk to people. I don’t want to sit in traffic. I don’t want to…I just don’t want to…

WAIT. Maybe bed isn’t the safest place any more. I think I have just been assaulted by my alarm clock. Damn. So much for this safe space.

Fleeing followers on Instagram

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Growing an Instagram account can be tough. Getting people to follow you, to share you, to like and comment is down right challenging.

What really sucks is that you start to see some results and people are beginning to follow you and then they flee – unfollow almost as fast as they followed you. At first I was being courteous and following them back, but I soon learned that these accounts were following my account just so they could get a follow and then they would unfollow my account.

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Well, if that doesn’t just burn ya up, I don’t know what will. People work really hard to create good content so the can get followers and really make an effort to do it via a legit method (I mean I get spam offers for “follower generators” all the time). Kinda makes ya mad, ya know?

Is that really how people get followers to their accounts? Spam follow accounts and hope they follow you back?

My love/hate relationship with toilet paper

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What to do…what to do…well, this blog is going in the toilet…

The picture above was from a recent trip to the men’s room at work. Yes, I needed to “cop a squat” and empty the main tank. There were so many choices for toilet paper that it was a little overwhelming. However, there wasn’t really a choice because they all were of the same relative quality, which got me to thinking about my love/hate relationship with TP.

It’s too thin. It’s too thick. There is not enough on the roll (or worse, there are no rolls at all). The roll is too big to fit in the dispenser. Use too much and you plug the toilet. Use too little and you’re sporting a brown racing stripe in the undies. Sometimes protects the fingers and other times you’re using TP to wipe the fingers before your next wipe on the rear end.

At least one of these problems occurs during each visit to “the can” and you *literally* sit there fuming. So why is that we can’t figure out an alternative to this stuff? Yes, there are “adult wipes” but they plug the toilets or sewer systems. There are bidets, but that hasn’t caught on in the US and I am still not sure what you are supposed to do about a wet ass…(as you can tell, I have never been presented with this option).

Anyone else feel me on this love/hate relationship? What do you think is the solution?

The annoying host

Anyone else think Tyra Banks is annoying as hell?

You would think after the extremely rough start she had last year, being severely awkward and overly obnoxious, that she would have figured it out for this year. But no, year two of her hosting duties on America’s Got Talent is just as awkward and just as annoying.

Maybe it just that I was a big fan of Nick Cannon. I don’t know. But maybe it’s just that she is trying too hard. I don’t know. But, they could actually cut her out of the show (which I noticed the last episode was very limited) and most people wouldn’t even notice.

She isn’t entertaining and never has been. Shouldn’t the host have at least as much talent as the contestants?

#tyrabanksisnonickcannon