Over

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I’m over it.

I’m over that.

I’m over this.

I’m over the other thing.

I’m over done.

I’m over did.

I’m over do.

I’m over you.

I’m over me.

I’m over today.

I’m over tomorrow.

I’m over yesterday.

I’m over this day, week, month, year.

 

Protection?

face masks on blue background

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Anyone tired of this face condom thing yet?

Scoff? That’s not what it is…you say…

If I understand the science (that is still all over the place on actual effectiveness) I am being told, then that’s exactly what wearing a mask essentially is – a face condom.

So, according to widely spread, not supportable, social media statistics, if two people wear masks there is a 1.5% chance of a healthy person contracting Covid-19 from a sick person. Now, the CDC won’t confirm those numbers because they have no idea of the accuracy, but the claim is always followed up with “it’s just good to be safe and watch out for others.”

OK, so the CDC won’t give stats on this particular issue.

Interestingly, they also don’t give stats (at least I can’t find any) on their website about the effectiveness of condom use. It can be found in other places though. 98% is the number.

That means (roughly) that condoms and masks work (mostly) with the same effectiveness (if you believe the mainstream narrative) from keeping someone from getting something they don’t want.

Thus, 2020 is the Year of the Face Condom.

You’re welcome.

 

Shoulda

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I shoulda just called in sick today.

That’s not really the right attitude to have, but work sucks today.

I can think of hundreds of other things I’d rather be doing, or hundreds of other places I’d rather be.

Having a hard time dealing with it.

Just not motivated to exert myself in employment today.

My brain already hurts and I’m tired.

Shoulda. Shoulda done a lot of things. Shoulda, shoulda…

Pantry

silver display shelf on brown sectional table

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Working from home has created some issues…

The pantry is taunting me.

Like, seriously, it yells my name EVERY DAY and it wants me to constantly visit with it. Like I mean, it wants to snuggle and stuff. It’s weird, I know, but I can’t explain it any other way.

I try not to listen. I turn the music up. I have meetings. I blindfold myself.

But it is persistent.

It has scrumptious treats. They are salty. They are crunchy. They are sweet. They are spicy…

Resistance is nearly futile. I can’t escape it.

It calls me when I am working. It calls me when I am sleeping. It calls me when I am on the couch. It calls me even when I am out in the yard (it just yells louder…)

I have tried disconnecting my number but it still manages a way to get in touch.

It’s irritating really. But, oh so enticing too…

Wait, what?

Did you hear that? It’s calling again. I’ll go see what it wants now. If I am not back in 10 minutes, leave me alone. We’re snuggling again.

Precious

 

This “stay at home” order is killing me. Well, actually it may end up killing others in the house…

KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY SNACKS!

Little people. Adults. Adults in charge of little people. I don’t care. These are mine and I don’t want you touching them or eating them or moving them or anything else.

I know what you are thinking. “He still has snacks left?”

That’s a fair question.

I had a personal stash that I didn’t tell anyone about. But someone caught me hunkered down in a corner eating a tasty morsel and the curiosity began…

Thus, my own little pot-o-gold for times of telecommuting in the garage has been sniffed out. Honestly, the stash was getting a little thin after two weeks of telecommuting and I am not sure how I could sneak more into the house…leaving the house is suspicious, for obvious reasons, and if I return and skulk back into the garage carrying grocery bags it is going to be even more suspicious.

This whole event has caused me to view the eating habits of a few people in the house and can say that I don’t like it. The munching, the crunching, the gobbling, the face stuffing, the pie-hole gorging are starting to irritate me. Do I really need to feed all these people? Who can I vote off the island? Who can I sacrifice and live without?

Anyone else feel like Gollum from “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings” when it comes to their snacks?

Who did this?

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WHO DID THIS?!?!?

…leaving a square destroyed like this is just not acceptable. It’s unusable at this point!

I may hyperventilate at the wastefulness. This impacts resources. Seriously. This stuff doesn’t grow on trees…and neither does the money needed to buy this it…

Wait.

Wipe that…from the memory banks…

Maybe both do grow on trees.

OK, “toilet paper math dad,” what do you do with this? How does this calculate into your figuring? And does the average person actually need (or use) 20 squares? But I digress.

All right, what do you do with these wasted squares? Do you put them inside the next wipe, do you tear it off and drop it in the toilet so you have a nice neat edge for the next wipe, or do you tear it off and re-purpose it? Any other ideas you can think of?