Can you hear me now?

close up photography of microphone

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Perhaps I am just a little weird when it comes to noticing things. Perhaps I am not. Perhaps I am just “that guy” that brings stuff up that should just be left alone…but what they hell, I like poking the bear.

Anyway, I want to brings something to your attention that I am sure is a national scandal. I hope all the “fake news” agencies pick up this observation and made a big deal of it. I really need to get my 15 minutes of fame in quick because life is short and I am over half done already.

Is there an unwritten code for comedians that the rest of us don’t know about? I’m serious. Think about this for a second (ok, three, because you’re gonna have to wrack your brain for a moment). Here goes…

Why do comedians used corded mics while performing?

Clearly technology exists that would allow for a wireless lapel mic, or just a wireless mic, or one of those cool wrap around the head wireless mic things (I don’t know what those are called). So why, in 100% of performances I have seen live or on TV, do the comedians use a wired mic?

Think about this: I saw Jim Gaffigan live and he drug a corded mic all over the arena stage. I have watched the Netflix Original shows for numerous comedians and all of them have had wired mics on stage. Kevin James, check. Ray Romano, check. Ken Jeong, check. I have watched comedians perform on America’s Got Talent. They all use a wired mic. Get the pattern here? It doesn’t matter how famous or “big” the comedians get, they still use a corded mic.

So what gives? Is there a secret code we don’t know about? Is it a security blanket they just can’t get rid of?

I NEED to know WHY? Seriously.

Any comedians out there that wanna break the silent and secret code and let us in on this obviously important national question?

That’s not funny

people at theater

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Generally, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Maybe I am just getting old or something.

I went to a local theater the other night and saw a performance of “The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?” done by Robert Dubac. I like comedy. I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that entertaining. Yeah, I got a few chuckles out of it but there wasn’t really anything that struck the funny bone. Instead, it was just a lot of material that others have done and a lot of cliches repacked and retold in a different format. Kind of disappointing. If I had a comedy meter, if would have gotten two chuckles out of five. Bummer.

Oh, and let me save you some time. I just finished the Ray Romano special on Netflix. It was a snoozer! Good grief. I saw there was a special for him and I liked his TV show, “Everybody Loves Raymond.” So, there was a bit of expectation that he would be funny. Not so much. I watched the first 30 minutes and I don’t think I chuckled once. I turned it off. Imaging me sitting on the couch…not even cracking a smile. So, to be fair, I decided to watch the rest of it on another day. Maybe I was in a bad mood or something. So, I just finished the special and I have to say that on the comedy meter it would be given one chuckle out of five. Really disappointing! I can actually say that I didn’t even laugh until about 42 minutes into the special. That’s a long time to wait for something to crack a smile for. My advice – avoid the special and veg out on something else.

I guess my funny bone is broke. Or maybe I am old. Or maybe it’s both.

Anyone else seen these two things? What did you think?

Super Bowl of extortion

nfl stadium field full with crowd watching the game during daytime

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I am not sure if anyone noticed. Well, maybe some of you did, but you weren’t sure what you witnessed with this last Super Bowl and the halftime performance. Yes, it wasn’t fantastic, but it wasn’t lackluster either. They invited some extra performers that weren’t really necessary and that always perplexes me. But, let’s get down to the real topic at hand.

To Maroon 5’s credit (and the other performers too), they stuck with their performance and didn’t bow out due to the pressure that was mounted against them. I am glad they didn’t bow down and performed on, arguably, the largest stage known to man. I mean, 1 billion (that is a ballpark guess) viewers is a lot of people. However, I am irritated that they satiated the protests by basically being extorted into giving donations to charitable causes. It’s great for the charities, but sets a bad precedent.

Let’s be honest. That Change.Org petition with around 100k signers is a drop in the bucket to 1 billion+ and really should have no bearing on what the NFL or the performers did. Shouldn’t have even been a second thought.

People say they care about the whole Kaepernick thing, and maybe some really do, but I tend to think that it is just something to grandstand on. If you really cared you would have boycotted the NFL completely and stopped paying attention to what they are doing. Here’s the thing, the people who are protesting the issue just keep coming back. Wanna make an impact? Stop showing up and stop caring what they are doing.

No instead they raise a ruckus over some halftime performers who can’t win if they don’t, and apparently can’t win if they do. I saw all kinds of media attention around people being mad at them performing. Then mad at them for not performing right, or not being edgy enough. This is their livelihood and I think they should get a little credit for what they did.

I haven’t seen anything from these protesters who feel so strongly about the Kaep thing that they are boycotting the advertisers who bought ads during the show (at least there is none that I have seen – let me know if I am wrong). Wait, what? I need to boycott them too? OK, yeah, now it gets serious. If you are going to stand on principle, you better be prepared to go the whole way. It’s gonna get real serious if you do and you’re gonna need to make some life changes, not just the NFL but the products and advertisers who support them too.

Yeah, I didn’t think you were that serious.

Extortion. It’s the new form of protest. 

 

 

 

Enough already, PT 2!

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This is an example of too much to read in less than 2 seconds. The photo is lovely, btw.

So, yesterday I had a little something to say about the “stories” feature on social media that seems to be taking the world by storm, but that some people aren’t telling stories but writing stupid novels with the overwhelming number of pics they post.

To follow up on that, can I just say that the other problem with “stories” is that people also want to put words on these photos. Not just a few words, like a caption for the picture, but like paragraphs…in small fonts…

Hey, if you want to write a paragraph on your photo, do it in the regular photo feed! I don’t know about most people, but I have a feeling I am not alone in that it is near darn impossible to READ a freaking small font paragraph in 1.32 seconds, let along all the links and other crap you include on the photo.

Again, for the love of your views and readers, keep the “stories” simple and short.

Enough already!

There is a disturbing trend going around social media these days and it bothers the heck outta me. I just don’t have all the time in the world for you, nor you me, so let’s keep it to one or two, not the whole story.

Social media has gotten this idea that people want to see a “story” about other people’s lives. Like I have none of my own, so I should see every aspect of someone else’s. So, Facebook and Instagram (yes, they are the same company) have instituted this “story” aspect where people can post multiple photos/videos that are chained together to tell a story. I hadn’t really payed much attention to these “stories” until just before the end of the year and then the end of the year came and I wish I hadn’t started in the first place.

You see, the stories have turned into a place for people to dump all their stupid photos. Instead of just spamming their account with endless photos that people wouldn’t normally see, now they post them all in stories and force everyone to look at them (or at the very least, tap through them). One person I follow posted (guess-timating) 70 photos to sum up their year. I don’t need that kind of crap. I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t have that much interest.

What’s worse, is businesses are using to sell their freaking products and I am just as stuck watching the commercial on this platform as I am on tv, only here I can at least “fast-forward” to some degree. Ugh, I don’t like it.

Social media was supposed to be a WINDOW into your life (no matter how fake it was), not your whole life! Oh, and commercial free too! Let’s get a grip here. If you are going to use “stories”, let’s keep it to one or two, three max. Don’t overwhelm people with your life.

I mean, really, we don’t care that much.

Let’s think this through

closeup photo of person holding panasonic remote control in front of turned on smart television

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Last night I had to have a conversation with some family members that I never thought, in this day and age, that I would have to have. Yet, it seems to be a recurring event these days.

We all know about security and the internet and how bad things can happen if you aren’t careful. We also know there are a lot of dishonest people and cheaters out there. So, to some degree it doesn’t surprise me that I have to have this conversation with my family too.

Last night, a member of the family (less than adult) wanted to input our Netflix credentials into an app that would allow the app to log into our Netflix account so that his friends could log into the app and watch a movie with him. So they could have a “shared experience.” Obviously, if brought to my attention first, the answer would always be a “No” for this sort of thing. It was not, however.

Instead, another member of the family (more than adult) agreed to said procedure in a misguided effort to be “a good parent.” Um, wait, you said ok? Why? Explain to me how you thought this would be a good idea.

Long story short – the answer was still, no. On top of it all, I had to kick everyone in the family out of the Netflix account and reset the password, again. Only four months after aforementioned adult decided it would be a good idea to allow someone else of the extended family access to the account. What a pain in the arse!

So, let’s just think this through a little more before we act, shall we?

Jump, let’s make it real!

two people on mountain cliff

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There’s a lot of jumping going on these days, only the jumping is not athletic in nature and not physical in value. It does, apparently, work the brain – even if it isn’t in a positive nature.

What jumping am I talking about?

Conclusions. Jumping to conclusions.

Damn it already, if social media (and regular media) isn’t set afire by people jumping to conclusions. Just since Thursday last week, there have been people jumping to conclusions at a record pace. False news. Misleading editing. All to get clicks or push an agenda. And the jumping just keeps getting worse!

The only place I wish people would jump is off a cliff, especially if they would like to find a conclusion. The conclusion can be at the bottom. Dead stop.

Get the facts people. Know the whole story. Investigate. Wait. There is always more than what meets the first impression.

Sound bites and neat, little 7-10 second clips (or a still photo) don’t tell the story.

If you’re going to jump, head straight for some place high with a definite dead-end, conclusion.

Getting tired of hearing ya’ll.