Technology | Piss and Moan

Follow the instructions they said

Posted on April 4, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

Follow the instructions.

Generalizing, this is a tough thing for us males to do. We just want to jump right in and make things happen. We know what to do instinctively. Now, that generalization might be true of many men but it is not true of me. I actually like to read the instructions and user manual so I can get the most out of something I just bought.

So, we have replaced a couple appliances in the kitchen recently and two of them arrived yesterday. I was left to replace the microwave after all was said and done (the store wanted $150 for the install). I looked at the instructions and measurements. I looked at the space and did the measurements. It would fit and it would work nicely in the space the old one filled.

Commence the two hour microwave wrestling session. I drilled new holes (because of course the old ones won’t work). I mounted the new bracket. I measured twice and sometimes even three times to make sure everything was going to line up. With some help, because I am not Superman, the microwave was hefted into position. It attached to the bracket just fine, but otherwise wouldn’t fit.

At this point I was wishing I had four arms and was three people. Off the microwave came. I measured some more. No, it is should fit just like it says. I measured again. Yes, it will fit. The microwave was hefted again and set on the bracket. Still no fit (of course, because I didn’t change anything). While while holding it in place I was formulating a plan – the plan was coming together…SHOVE until it fits. This is gonna work.

So, shove I did. No budge. Shove some more. Still no budge. Rest. Shove again, harder. No budge. Shove some more. Still no budge. Let’s try greasing the edge a little to help it along. (yes, I greased an appliance. You read that correctly.) Grease, in the form of Crisco, applied. Shove again. It moved right into place. Excellent. Now to finish the mount by attaching the screws on the top.

The holes don’t line up.

Damn, Koreans. This thing was probably built by North Korea or something…

Pull it back down. Re-drill the holes. I am just gonna guess this time since the template obviously was NO HELP the first time. Shove the microwave into place. The screws match perfectly. Microwave mounted.

The lesson: skip the instructions and template. Just eyeball it and give it a shot.

I guess I should just go with my maleness.

Time for a face palm

Posted on March 26, 2019 by backuphill

As if the nation didn’t hear a collective groan from pundits, media personalities, celebrities, and just Democrats in general upon the submission and conclusion of the Mueller Report.

A large segment of the population has waited with bated breath for a conclusion of collusion. What they got instead was their “worst nightmare”? Not sure how the public can openly root and cheer for the demise of a sitting president, but that’s what has been happening.

A whole host of people have waited so impatiently to get dirt on the president so they can kick him out of office. They despise him so much they are willing to perpetuate lies (yes, we know he lies too) and spin information with no reliable source. They have undermined their own democracy for an agenda they can’t justify.

No one deserves a bigger face palm than those who have waited and waited only to find their hopes and dreams dashed with the truth. The problem is, the truth isn’t what they wanted in the first places to the immediately parse, spin, and suggest more conspiracy theories. The hate and vitriol has been astonishing, and quite frankly embarrassing.

I am glad this is over but come on people, it’s time to move on and do the work of the people! The media needs to stop commentating and editorializing everything they “report” and be more transparent about their sources so that information can be vetted and verified.

I am a Trump voter but not necessarily a supporter. I voted the way I did because he was/is better than the alternative, sad but true. I am not happy with all he does and says, but I am happy with some. Did I wonder if the collusion was true? Sure. Did I hope it wasn’t? Yes. Do I want him to be success? Heck yes! I don’t want any president to fail.

So, for those of you out there having to eat a whole flock of crows – get to it and be honest about it!

If you deserve a face palm, I have a palm available if you need it. I would be happy to help you out.

In the meantime, I will continue to do my own face palm as you act like children because you didn’t get what you wanted. You aren’t that three-year old in the cereal aisle at the supermarket, so stop acting like it.

Reverse lights

Posted on March 21, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

There are lots of things that are extremely irritating in life. This blog is kind of dedicated to finding and expressing our frustration with such things. I can across one the other day that just about had me come unhinged – temper went from 0-83 in less than 1.4 seconds.

You see them in parking lots all the time but maybe you don’t give them much thought.

Reverse lights.

Those white lights on the back of vehicles that are your signal that said vehicle is about to begin backing up. Great idea, those lights.

But, what isn’t a great idea is that someone who has put the vehicle in reverse, thus turning the lights on, can also IMMEDIATELY begin backing up without any regard to what may be behind them.

I am sure this is no secret since nearly anyone who has ever driven a car has probably experience this in a parking lot at some point in their past. What is most frustrating is that it seems to be happening more and more. I can’t explain it, but I sure want to punch people when it happens. To be fair, I am not really a violent person but there are some things that really get my blood boiling, and this is one of them.

I have nearly been hit while driving a car and while walking. It’s happened in parking lots. It’s happened on the road as someone backs out of a driveway. It’s happened during broad daylight and it has happened at night. Good thing I am aware of my surroundings!

Anyway, I propose there be a 10 second waiting period , a delay if you will, on Reverse. The car goes into reverse, the lights come one, and you have to wait 10 seconds before the car will move. That should force someone to have a look around (I hope). Oh, and while we’re at it, how about a sensor in the seat that can read the body language or tell if someone looked out the back window before the car will move? Yeah, now we’re on to something.

OK, let me know in the comments if you have experienced this? Were you able to avoid the collision or were you one of the unlucky, wrong place at the wrong time kind of people?

Win a prize!

Posted on March 15, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

OK, guys, here’s your chance to win a prize!

I have a great give away lined up for you. Make sure you read all the way to the end (no cheating!) to see what you get. The rules are easy and there are only 12 steps!

First the rules:

Like this blog post.
Follow this blog, if you haven’t already.
Like three other blogs with the word “Loop” in the title.
Stand up if you are sitting; sit if you are standing.
Pat your head and rub your tummy.
Follow EVERYONE, and I mean everyone, I am following.
Stand in front of the house/building doing “The Crane” pose from Karate Kid for a total of 4 minutes (if you don’t know what that is, watch Karate Kid first. Oh, and wear pants if necessary).
Buy charcoal toothpaste.
Brush vigorously with said toothpaste until you foam at the mouth – take a selfie and post in the comments.
Find a dine-in pizza place, walk by a table with a pizza one it, and take THREE pieces of pepperoni off the pizza. Tell table occupants those were tainted and eat them.
Thank a police officer and a member of the armed services.
Leave a pic of the shocked pizza restaurant faces after you ate their pepperoni in the comments.

*If you completed steps 1, 2, 3, 6, & 11, I thank you and so do other random bloggers.

*If you completed steps 4, 5, 8, & 9 then you are a moderately rational person.

* If you completed 7, 10, & 12 – well, you need help.

*If you completed all the steps above, thank you. You’re also an idiot.

The Prize

You probably didn’t do any of these things (OK, hopefully at least #1 & #2), so the prize is the satisfaction of knowing you don’t fall for these stupid “follow loops” to win prizes like other social media people. Good job! Pat yourself on the back.

Anyone else annoyed by these things? It seems to be the trend on Instagram right now.

Can you hear me now?

Posted on March 14, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Studio 7042 on Pexels.com

Perhaps I am just a little weird when it comes to noticing things. Perhaps I am not. Perhaps I am just “that guy” that brings stuff up that should just be left alone…but what they hell, I like poking the bear.

Anyway, I want to brings something to your attention that I am sure is a national scandal. I hope all the “fake news” agencies pick up this observation and made a big deal of it. I really need to get my 15 minutes of fame in quick because life is short and I am over half done already.

Is there an unwritten code for comedians that the rest of us don’t know about? I’m serious. Think about this for a second (ok, three, because you’re gonna have to wrack your brain for a moment). Here goes…

Why do comedians used corded mics while performing?

Clearly technology exists that would allow for a wireless lapel mic, or just a wireless mic, or one of those cool wrap around the head wireless mic things (I don’t know what those are called). So why, in 100% of performances I have seen live or on TV, do the comedians use a wired mic?

Think about this: I saw Jim Gaffigan live and he drug a corded mic all over the arena stage. I have watched the Netflix Original shows for numerous comedians and all of them have had wired mics on stage. Kevin James, check. Ray Romano, check. Ken Jeong, check. I have watched comedians perform on America’s Got Talent. They all use a wired mic. Get the pattern here? It doesn’t matter how famous or “big” the comedians get, they still use a corded mic.

So what gives? Is there a secret code we don’t know about? Is it a security blanket they just can’t get rid of?

I NEED to know WHY? Seriously.

Any comedians out there that wanna break the silent and secret code and let us in on this obviously important national question?

Spam that ain’t so yummy

Posted on March 11, 2019 by backuphill

email spam

I know we authorize our own abuse in some cases, but this is just a bit ridiculous don’t you think?

When we sign up for different services we are often asked if we want to receive emails regarding specials or things that meet our interests. In most cases, it is limited to one or two emails in a day. It is a little annoying, but I realized that I have given them permission to send me those emails.

Do deal with said emails, I have more than one email account. One that is my regular account where most of the important stuff get delivered. Bills, personal email, and other important stuff (that I select) gets to use that email address. The other address is essentially my “spam”. This email address gets the email that I don’t really find important but the emails that I believe will be useful. In most cases those are emails that are a result of a subscription or membership of some type.

So, yes, I have signed up for Groupon. But I don’t think I signed up to actually be spammed by them. I expect to get emails from them, but I didn’t expect to get an average of 5.5 emails per day! I mean seriously? How about we just put this info in one or two emails? I don’t look at most of them anyway, so is it really necessary in the first place? If I was looking for something I probably will visit their website to shop.

We used to get a ton of junk mail in our real, snail mail box. Now my email boxes are getting spammed in all sorts of ways. It’s rather annoying. No, it’s rather irritating.

What do you think? How do you deal with this stuff?

Like a wrecking ball

Posted on March 4, 2019 by backuphill

trump-1

Anyone else feel like they hit a wall the moment they left the bed?

The urge to return to the warm confines of the sheets and just melt back into the mattress was very strong this morning.

MONDAY came in like a wrecking ball. It never hit so hard…

*There ya go, get that little ditty outta your head now*

You’re welcome, and unhappy Monday to you too.

Now, where is my intravenous coffee pot?

It cuts not so deep

Posted on February 28, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Josh Sorenson on Pexels.com

The morning ritual of shaving (something my face can’t handle on a daily basis so I alternate) has got to be one of the worst forms of torture. Can I just stop hair growth on my face?

For a tiny little razor, it sure makes my face bleed red. How is that possible?

The blades are minuscule, and for the most part they lay flat on my face. I try to keep the angle correct, yet somehow I end up with red spots and scrapes and my face looks like I was attacked by a lawnmower. Those little cuts are just enough to be annoying but not deep enough to be a medical emergency.

Ugh, I hate it. And yet, I don’t really have an alternative. So, the torture continues…every other day.

Making a deposit

Posted on February 27, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by maitree rimthong on Pexels.com

Banks are a strange creature. They pop up, they disappear, the combine, they stand the test of time or they don’t. Big banks will nickle and dime you to death with fees and small banks are inconvenient because of limited locations. Small banks grow, but rarely do you see a big bank get smaller to serve its customers better.

One point of irritation for me is deposit slips. Why do banks charge you for personalized deposit slips?

Banks need capital to operate. How do banks get said capital? Investors, of course, but they get money from their customers depositing money into the bank. As such you think they would do everything possible to encourage their customers to deposit money as easily as possible.

But, no, instead they charge you to have printed deposit slips with your data on it. Yes, they do have blank slips at the branch but who honestly remembers all the digits of their bank account number?

Anyway, it just seems to me that an establishment that is desperate for your money would make it easier for you to put it there. It is, after all, just a little piece of paper.

That’s not funny

Posted on February 21, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Monica Silvestre on Pexels.com

Generally, I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. Maybe I am just getting old or something.

I went to a local theater the other night and saw a performance of “The Male Intellect: An Oxymoron?” done by Robert Dubac. I like comedy. I was looking forward to it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t that entertaining. Yeah, I got a few chuckles out of it but there wasn’t really anything that struck the funny bone. Instead, it was just a lot of material that others have done and a lot of cliches repacked and retold in a different format. Kind of disappointing. If I had a comedy meter, if would have gotten two chuckles out of five. Bummer.

Oh, and let me save you some time. I just finished the Ray Romano special on Netflix. It was a snoozer! Good grief. I saw there was a special for him and I liked his TV show, “Everybody Loves Raymond.” So, there was a bit of expectation that he would be funny. Not so much. I watched the first 30 minutes and I don’t think I chuckled once. I turned it off. Imaging me sitting on the couch…not even cracking a smile. So, to be fair, I decided to watch the rest of it on another day. Maybe I was in a bad mood or something. So, I just finished the special and I have to say that on the comedy meter it would be given one chuckle out of five. Really disappointing! I can actually say that I didn’t even laugh until about 42 minutes into the special. That’s a long time to wait for something to crack a smile for. My advice – avoid the special and veg out on something else.

I guess my funny bone is broke. Or maybe I am old. Or maybe it’s both.

Anyone else seen these two things? What did you think?