Ingratitude

horse laughing laughing horse

Photo by Brenda Timmermans on Pexels.com

Rampant.

What do you do when you feel as though your kindness and generosity are being taken advantage of? What do you do when there is a lack of gratitude from someone who should be extremely appreciative of the way you have bent over backwards for them?

I think most of us don’t do things for others because we want to be celebrated. I don’t think we do things for others because we are looking for publicity or because we want accolades. We do things for others because we see a need and want to meet it. For some of us, it’s in our nature. For others, well, we have to work at it on a regular basis.

But, how do you handle a situation where you stepped out of what your “normal” everyday life is like, to rearrange and disrupt your life for a while, to help someone out only to have them act in a way that shows little to no gratitude or actually appears they are taking advantage of the situation?

Yeah, strangers likely wouldn’t act this way.

Family? Family, on the other hand, usually does.

I found out last night that appearances aren’t what they seem and there has been some talking going on behind that back of some family members about other family members. Mind you, the secretive discussions are from those who are getting help (and desperately needed it at the time) about those who are giving the help (who saw the need and stepped in to help despite major misgivings).

Seems a bit shocking, doesn’t it? It actually doesn’t really surprise me. I mean it does, and it doesn’t. That has been the trend all along. Family bends over backwards to help other family members, only to find out that it cause issues inside the family and causes the ones helping to regret they helped.

Lessons learned? You would think so, but no. That’s the problem with having a generous, helping heart.

Ingratitude. Expectation. Greed. Under-appreciation. Irresponsibility.

It’s cliche, but that phrase “Looking a gift horse in the mouth” actually does mean something.

 

Obligation

gray box with silver ribbon

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

I hate feeling obligated.

I hate feeling obligated to leave a tip at a restaurant if the service I received was just part of the ordering process. It’s one thing to leave a tip for a server and personal interaction. It is another thing to leave a tip for someone who took an order from behind a counter. I just won’t do it.

I hate feeling obligated to go out of my way for a family just because “we’re family.”

I hate getting invitations to an event and feeling obligated to go because someone has invited me.

I hate feeling obligated to eat the last cookie in the cookie jar because it is probably lonely.

I hate feeling obligated to do things for co-workers. I especially hate being invited to the wedding of a co-worker (by the co-worker, of course) I don’t particularly like all that much. I hate feeling obligated to go to the wedding because “everyone” (or nearly everyone) will be there. Look, just because you are a co-worker, doesn’t mean I want to hang out with you or celebrate your special moments with you outside of the workplace. We just aren’t that close and we never will be. So, I hate having the feeling obligation when it comes to attending this event.

How do I solve such a dilemma?

I’ll just stop having feelings. I am pretty good at that. No feelings? No feeling of obligation.

Done. Solved.

 

Same

man using laptop computer

Photo by Djordje Petrovic on Pexels.com

Well, it seems Cyber Monday is more of the same when it comes to sales.

So far, I haven’t seen anything that would lead me to believe that the sales today (Cyber Monday) are any better than they were for Black Friday, just three days ago.

To me, it looks like companies have just recycled and re-branded their websites with “Cyber Monday” sales banners. As such, many of the items that I was browsing around on Friday are the same exact price today.

I guess Cyber Monday got me underwhelmed just like Friday.

Ho-hum.

Bah-humbug.

Just a number

top view photo of ceramic mugs filled with coffees

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Raise your hand if you like coffee. Raise your hand if you have at least two cups of coffee a day. Finally, raise your hand if you have a favorite coffee cup.

Yeah, I thought so. I do too. I like coffee. I have at least two cups of coffee per day. I also have a favorite coffee cup. Well, to be fair, I have a favorite coffee cup at home and also one at work (oh, and include one favorite travel mug as well).

So, I generally use only two coffee cups per day. However, if you are also like me, you probably have a collection of about 63 coffee cups, most of which never get used. Right?

So what’s the deal? Why do people “collect” coffee cups they never (or rarely) use? Moreover, why do people give coffee cups as gifts period? In most cases the giver has to assume the receiver already has a cup they like/use and doesn’t need another cup to clutter up the cupboards. So why give it in the first place? Do you think you are so important that the receiver will give up their favorite cup just for you? Arrogance!

If you go to a coffee shop, you see all the different options there. If you go to a big box store, you see all the options there. If you go to a novelty shop, you see all the options there. Here’s the kicker, if you go to a thrift store you can see the myriad of options there! All those discarded and unwanted coffee cups…

So why do people keep making, selling, buying, and giving them?

What’s your number? How many do you have in the cupboard?

Marketing mayhem

red and white ribbon

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Anyone else already tired of today?

Anyone else think this day, Valentine’s Day, is dumb?

The stores love it because it is just a marketing bonanza filled with stupid little gifts. Money, money, money! The cash registers ring non-stop.

Ever notice that the price for things that are normally reasonable suddenly go way up? Case in point, flowers. A dozen roses at Safeway any other time of the year is $14.99. The days surrounding Valentine’s Day…$45.99. Seems like a scam to me! Hopefully you ordered yours early or you may be outta luck, or pay through the nose as the price probably went up.

Sappy cards @ $5.99 a pop. Little trinkets and stuffed animals @ $7.99. Chocolate, of course varies on size and quality, is priced like there is going to be a shortage in the near future. I mean, really, nothing says “I love you” like a box of chocolates. I love you so much, why don’t you add a few pounds.

Don’t even think about reservations at the last minute! Prepare to drop a fortune if you are going to a special restaurant. You might as well just hit up the McDonalds drive-thru and go home to sit on the couch.

Alright. I am sure you get it. I’ll stop.

Today is stupid.

Got a Valentine’s Day horror story? Do you agree with me? Tell me in the comments!

 

When is it enough?

bind blank blank page business

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Question of the day: When is it enough?

Let’s put some context into the question…

When is it enough charity? Gifting? Generosity? Especially, when it comes to adults who should, by now, be able to fend for themselves and stop making choices in life that keep them from being able to do it? Thus, requiring additional help (on a seemingly regular basis).

Does the answer of “enough” matter if they are a stranger? An acquaintance? A good friend? Family…children, grandchildren, parents, siblings? Sure, I understand every circumstance is different and have their own complexities, but there has to be a line, right?

Where does the line get drawn and how do you draw it? Do you just continually allow it to happen?

Unwrapping the aftermath

assorted color gift boxes

Photo by George Dolgikh on Pexels.com

Well, folks, the stockings are down and the presents opened. It was chaos from the start and there is a ton to do now that all are gone.

Not sure about your family, but mine appears to just swoop in to open presents and consume food before jetting off to other places and people to visit, which leaves a tornado of debris scattered about the house and hours of cleaning after the fact. That isn’t to say that there weren’t also hours of prep before everyone even showed up…so when taken all into account there were probably four times as many hours preparing for and cleaning after than there was actual time spent with family.

Don’t get me wrong, time spent with family was great and the joy did finally come as the smiles and laughter filled the room. It did finally come. BUT, it was soon lost in the time spend cleaning floors, dishes, the fridge, taking out the extra 100 pounds of garbage, and putting the furniture back where it belongs.

Does anyone else have that feeling after Christmas where the “What did we just do?” dread of having to put life back to normal appears that it will take an inordinate amount of time? Like maybe you’re the only one that will be working into the wee hours of the night just so there will be some resemblance of normalcy the day after?

The Grinch

I’ll just sit over here and try not to ruin anyone else’s Christmas…

171213-grinch-how-to-watch

72593-grinch2-warner

hqdefault

From the greatest joy thief of all, Merry Christmas.

Oh, and maybe his heart did grow two sizes after all.