Internal combustion

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There are a lot of things going on right now in the world and I suppose this little title could apply to the the various technologies that use fuel and internal combustion to run them. Damn, gas is getting expensive! This post is about a totally different subject, but what reason in hell were we buying Russian oil for when we could completely rely on our own source of oil but refuse to tap into it?

Anyway…

The internal combustion I am referring to is actually inside of me.

Someone said the other day said that they thought something was going on inside of me that maybe I hadn’t recognized or identified yet. They had noticed that my usual level of grumpiness had increased to a level I might not be aware of but that others were noticing. It was mentioned that perhaps it was my newfound age of 50, or maybe it was something at work, or maybe it was…nothing else was pointed out.

I said that I didn’t think that I was all that grumpy, at least not that I was aware of. It was news to me if people thought I was grumpier than normal.

As I thought about it a bit more through the day, I thought that maybe there was something going on. I don’t know if I have really put a finger on it yet. As I am thinking of where I am in life at the moment and current circumstances, I can see (or feel) that I am unsettled. I am finding myself frustrated with everything that has to do with my current situation. Daily life has become a chore and finding joy in places that one would think it could be found just isn’t providing it. Instead, those places are kinda killing the joy.

As such, there may be a little internal combustion going on as I am trying to keep a lid on the unhappiness, the joylessness, the irritability, the frustration, the distaste for my current state. It’s not that I want to tear everything down, torch it to the ground, or start completely over. It’s just when I look around me, I don’t know how I got here and I didn’t envision myself here, and I don’t want to really stay here. Does that make sense?

Call it a mid-life crisis? Nah, I don’t think so. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I don’t think it is.

The internal combustion inside of me is keeping me moving (hopefully in a positive direction) but the fire in me sometimes gets rather dim when I am tired of being the rather responsible one. It gets tiring being the one who carries everything on his shoulders and keeps the plates spinning and keeps the wagon train headed in the correct direction. The one who hold it all together, all the time, every time.

Maybe I am just burned out on life right now.

My engine isn’t running at it’s prime, that’s for sure.

Perhaps I am just one cycle from failure, explosion, or implosion.

Grumpy pants

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OK, I’ll admit it. I’m feeling a little like a grumpy pants today. Did I wake up on the “wrong side of the bed”? Nope. Just feeling grumpy. Not sure why. Just am.

Do you have days like this? Where all you want to do is scream from the top of your lungs, “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Yep. Today is one of those days for me.

Not that anyone is really bothering me, per se, but there is much to do at work and I don’t want to do it. There is much to do at home and I don’t want to do it.

I would prefer not to have anyone call me, see me, email me, message me, talk to me, look at me.

Actually, now that I think about it…I kinda feel like Bernie Sanders looked yesterday at the inauguration. Not that he was actually grumpy (at least not that I have heard), just that he didn’t look like he was all that pleased or excited to be there. He was probably just cold, but the image and all the memes being generated kind of says it all.

(Photo by Brendan SMIALOWSKI / AFP)

Just leave me alone and all will be good. Just let me hang out in my grumpy pants and be me.

That is all.

“Up to here”

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I am sure you probably heard it growing up. I know I did more than a few times.

Well, I can’t tell you how many times I have uttered those words directly at my children, but I do know that I have said it mentally or muttered it under my breath thousands of times. Maybe tens of thousands..

I have had it up to here… *motions with hand at a level*

– said by every parent in the world at one time or another

Up to my armpits. Up to my neck. Up to my chin. Up to my nose. Up to my eyeballs. Up to my ears. Up to the top of as high as my arm will reach…up to here!

Again, there is a certain child and his family that I have had it up to here with…the never ending, always needs help, continuously makes bad choices, can’t catch a break, needy child. Up to HERE!

Actually, when I think about it, there are a lot of things I have had it UP TO HERE with:

Politics.

Liberals.

Lockdowns.

Family.

Covid-19.

Media.

Social Media.

Can you feel me? There are a lot of things to have had it up to here with…

I am just gonna sit here, in the dark, and ignore everyone and everything for 15 minutes. Maybe more. Until my “up to here” level has gone down.

What’s got you having it “up to here” these days? Hit the Comment button and dish!

I am validated

left human hand

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Research shows, Piss and Moan is good for you.

Angry? Cynical? Pessimist? Grumpy? Ill-tempered?

All good for you, according to research.

Since we’re so into science these days and scientists know all, and should be trusted at all times, so you know this is quality stuff. How could they possibly be wrong? Well, honestly, they’re not. They know their stuff!

So, Bobby McFerrin, you can take your “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and shove it! According to research, that crap is bad for your health and is more likely to kill you.

Need some help getting into the Piss and Moan mood? I have a few helpful hints to get you there, because I am also an expert in this area.

Try these responses to common, courtesy phrases:

They say: “Good morning!”  /  Your response: “What’s good about it?”

They say: “Have a nice day!”  /  Your response: “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Try these thoughts as you go out in public:

Good grief, people are really stupid.

You know, if half these people died right now I wouldn’t miss them.

Based on today’s display of humanity, would pre-historic times really have been that bad?

Try these thoughts about family:

They say: “We’re coming over.”  /  Your response: “Do you really have to?”

When, for all that is holy, can I stop parenting for 20 minutes?

How are these losers really my kids?

I’m not really genetically related to these people, am I?

You say: “Can you all just leave now?”  /  They say: “But, we haven’t been here that long.”

See how easy that is? Piss and Moan more. It has been validated and scientifically proven to be good for you.

You’re welcome.

 

Not in the mood

man sitting on concrete bench

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Before your brain goes there, let me just say that is not what I am talking about.

I just simply not in the mood to deal today.

Honestly, I’d just like to insulate myself from the world and do nothing.

I don’t want people around. I don’t want interaction of any kind.

I only want to do what I want to do, and it has to be something that is mindless and relaxing. It has to be fun (by my standards).

I am not in the mood to adult. I don’t want any responsibilities today. None.

Can I just sit here and sulk while I am at work, while I have to do everything that is exactly opposite of what I just said I wanted?

Not today

bow tie businessman fashion man

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Not today.

Today isn’t your day.

I ain’t gonna do it.

Don’t ask me nothing. Don’t ask me for nothing. Don’t ask me something or for something.

Not today.

Just let me sit here and be my usual Mr. Grumpypants, ok?

Oh, and while we’re talking about, not tomorrow either.

Tomorrow isn’t your day either.

 

Old curmudgeon

basket colourful decoration easter

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Maybe I really don’t have a heart. Maybe it is just a dark spot in my chest. A black hole of emotion, if you will.

I am sure you are all aware it was Easter over the weekend. There are two sides to the holiday – a Christian celebration or the commercialized side. Most people pick one or the other, or there is some kind of mingling of the two.

Sometimes celebrations bring out the curmudgeon in me. I don’t know why. It just does.

As I was wandering the yard and the grandkids, nieces, and nephews were hunting for candy and change filled plastic eggs I realized this is a really stupid practice. The whole dying eggs, or filling plastic ones, hiding them (or dropping them in plain sight) and then “finding” them – what a dumb ritual.

OK, I can hear the groans and eye rolls from here. “C’mon, it’s fun for the littles!”you say. It might be and their smiles might be a sign of the enjoyment. But I still don’t like it or enjoy it. I did it for my daughter when she was really little, but I didn’t especially enjoy it.

I know. I am an old, un-fun fogey. A grump. A curmudgeon.

Anyone else have a strong dislike for this Easter Egg hunt thing?

Sure, let’s meet again

flat view photography of four persons sitting facing laptop on desk

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Another morning meeting.

That’s three this week. That’s three to start the day followed by another 19 during the week. Ugh.

I swear, if someone else plans a meeting for today after I have to go to this one, I am going to punch myself in the mouth so I don’t have to go.

Come on, people! It’s Friday. Sheesh! Slow down and ease into the weekend…

#$%& meetings! Just leave me alone today.

The Grinch

I’ll just sit over here and try not to ruin anyone else’s Christmas…

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From the greatest joy thief of all, Merry Christmas.

Oh, and maybe his heart did grow two sizes after all.

Yes, please, treat me

baked baking bread breakfast

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Actually, don’t. Stop it already.

Yes, I want all your office treats that you don’t want. No, I don’t want all the office treats that you don’t want. I mean really, it’s a battle that I have been waging for a long time.

Fellow office mates, “Hmm, I am not really into chocolate. I’ll give it to, Grumpy. He eats everything.”

Fellow office mates, “There are leftover cupcakes from the party. Grumpy, do you want them?”

I am trying to lose weight, so why does everyone bring their crap to me? Oh, well, maybe I should actually tell them NO instead of eating it. I just hate to waste food.

I am my own worst enemy.