kids | Piss and Moan

Hypocritical complaints

Posted on July 13, 2021 by backuphill

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I am know I am guilty of it. I am not exempt from it. I’ll admit it. I’ve got some hypocritical complaints about family members. It’s just really rich when someone will point them out to me, but not recognize that they themselves are doing exactly the same thing.

As you can imagine, blended families are a challenge. Actually, challenge may be the wrong word. It’s actually a special kind of hell, really. It’s a love and hate relationship x100. It’s unbearable and maybe survivable. It’s an age old story, but typically you don’t treat your non-biological children the same as you do your biological ones. It’s terrible.

Anyway, the youngest (my bio kid) just moved in after her graduation from high school. The relationship between her and step-mom is strained (at best). Of course, you can imagine all the reasons why…many of the same reasons why my relationship with my non-bios is strained. She can see the obvious differences between how she gets treated and how they get treated.

So, someone last night had the gall to complain about a “missed laundry day” and what we should tell her if she wants to do laundry outside of her designated day. Mind you, two of the three locally living non-bios do laundry at our house on a fairly regular basis even though they don’t actually reside in the house. The suggestion was that she should be told to go to a laundry mat to do her laundry…you can imagine that I pointed out that she does actually live here and that if she chose to do laundry at a time no one else was using the machines and did it in a timely manner so that it didn’t interfere with anyone else, I didn’t see a problem if there was a legitimate reason for missing her designated day.

I caught hell for that.

Heaven forbid that I mention anything about the non-bios and their status of being adults and lived outside the home for more than two years.

Never mind the fact that someone is secretly paying the leftover bills of another non-bio and his family who just moved out of state.

So, hypocritical complaints? Yeah. We have them. I bite my tongue on most of them until I can’t do it any longer.

It’s just laundry. It’s not a bad financial choice that will leave her asking for help years down the road, on a continual basis.

Give it a rest and me a break…

They really know

Posted on February 15, 2021 by backuphill

Some people just really know how to push your buttons. Some people just really know how to make you feel lower than low. Some people just don’t show you any appreciation or love. Some of those people are people you just know, maybe they’re coworkers or acquaintances. But sometimes they are people that are supposedly close to you.

Step-kids.

Yesterday was the beginning of my 49th trip around the sun. It was a quiet day since the day before we were blanketed with about 9″ of snow (and the ensuing compact snow and ice on the roads). So, much of the day was spent watching tv, taking a nap, playing video games, and eating food.

Lots of people on social media, family and friends alike, issued wishes of cheer and congratulations on the day. That felt good.

Only two of the nine children (our six kids and three spouses/significant others) managed to communicate with me. MY daughter and the second oldest of the step-kids. That doesn’t feel nice.

They sure know how make me feel like crap…

“Up to here”

Posted on January 14, 2021 by backuphill

I am sure you probably heard it growing up. I know I did more than a few times.

Well, I can’t tell you how many times I have uttered those words directly at my children, but I do know that I have said it mentally or muttered it under my breath thousands of times. Maybe tens of thousands..

I have had it up to here… *motions with hand at a level*
– said by every parent in the world at one time or another

Up to my armpits. Up to my neck. Up to my chin. Up to my nose. Up to my eyeballs. Up to my ears. Up to the top of as high as my arm will reach…up to here!

Again, there is a certain child and his family that I have had it up to here with…the never ending, always needs help, continuously makes bad choices, can’t catch a break, needy child. Up to HERE!

Actually, when I think about it, there are a lot of things I have had it UP TO HERE with:

Politics.

Liberals.

Lockdowns.

Family.

Covid-19.

Media.

Social Media.

Can you feel me? There are a lot of things to have had it up to here with…

I am just gonna sit here, in the dark, and ignore everyone and everything for 15 minutes. Maybe more. Until my “up to here” level has gone down.

What’s got you having it “up to here” these days? Hit the Comment button and dish!

Host

Posted on September 17, 2020 by backuphill

What do you do? How do you handle the situation?

So, one of the adult children wants to have their children’s (our grandchildren) birthday party at our house. They asked if that could happen at the end of the month.

Sounds simple, right? Sure, go ahead! We love you. We love them. No problem!

But there is history. There is always history.

They have done this once before. Asked if they could use the house and yard for a birthday party and we said that was fine. Very little communication with them between the ask and the event.

Day of the event comes and we find out it is a four hour “open house” where people can just drop in and hang out. 40 people show up (not including family and many of whom we don’t know) at various times during this open house. The kids, on a very limited budget, didn’t plan or budget for said party. They didn’t have enough supplies for said party. They didn’t have enough food for said party. They had no alternative plans for said party if the weather was crappy that day. They didn’t stick around long after the open house was over to clean up.

Guess who picked up all the slack, both in time and expense? I guess you don’t need to guess since you know it was us.

So, what do you do this time when they ask? Just let them do it, no questions asked? Or, do you put limitations on it? Do you set expectations, or do you just go with the flow?

Loaded questions, because you know how I would handle it (at least you should by now). But, the other person in the house doesn’t think it should be handled that way.

What is reasonable, logical, and practical?

Once again

Posted on July 16, 2020 by backuphill

Photo by Leonardo Rossatti on Pexels.com

I don’t know why I bother, because I am going to be ignored either way.

Advice.

Why ask for it if you are going to completely ignore it?

Family. I tell ya.

Kids. *shakes head* Damn, kids.

When they ask for advice, they don’t really want advice. They just want validation for their own thoughts and opinions, and if you don’t give them what they want then they discount your advice and do what they wanted to do in the first place.

Gets old, ya know?

Loud and clear

Posted on June 23, 2020 by backuphill

Photo by Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ on Pexels.com

You ever feel like you are under-appreciated?

We just passed a holiday of sorts – Father’s Day.

I remembered my dads. I have three (dad and two FILs). It’s an easy thing to do, right? Talk to one, remember the others. Acknowledge them, appreciate them, take time out of your day to help them feel special for a moment. Doesn’t take a long time, but it is important.

Now, background here…I married into a lot of kids the second time around. Most of them adults by the time they came into my life. So now, including spouses of the kids who are married, there are eight.

Could of days ago, I heard from three.

That’s it. Three.

Didn’t hear a peep from 5 of the 8. There haven’t even been any “after the fact” acknowledgements either.

So, now full disclosure, you know the source of a LOT of the Piss and Moan material.

I try to deny the fact and ignore it, but there just isn’t any denying it.

Look, I realize they have another dad. I haven’t ever expected to be the top of the list. But at the very least acknowledged? Yes.

I am not looking for anything fancy, lord knows that most of them can’t afford crap (see other, numerous, posts about adult children living in our house or on our property). But it doesn’t take much to make someone feel appreciated, right?

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

Babysitting

Posted on February 3, 2020 by backuphill

Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels.com

I have known for quite a while I don’t like little people. That’s why I didn’t become an elementary teacher. I just couldn’t handle it. It drove me nuts.

Then I had my own child and I survived the little people stage. It wasn’t as challenging as I thought it would be, but I was glad when it was over. I definitely didn’t want to repeat it again. It’s one thing to watch your own young kids. It’s another to watch someone else’s, no matter who they are.

So, naturally, I hate babysitting.

But, I find that I am required to do so once in a while for a family member. Mostly it is because I feel obligated and can’t really say no, even though my selfish heart really tells me I should. I have no desire, at all, to spend time with little people. None.

Unfortunately, my sister needed some help this last Saturday and thus, I am obligated to watch my 3 year old niece. She is smart. She is relatively well behaved. I still don’t like it. I can’t wait for nap time to come.

Like really.

Nap time for her. Nap time for me.

Why do I say yes to this torture……??

Price gouging?

Posted on January 2, 2020 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What do you guys thing? Could this instance be considered price gouging or just market demand?

New Years Eve plans weren’t set in stone yet, so going to the movie theater was determined to be a good idea. Killing a few hours at a movie would help get the evening along and help me make it to the new year (instead of being an old, grumpy person – er, like every other day).

Anyway, we only have one movie theater that is local so to the AMC we went. During the ticket purchasing process it was discovered that the normally $5+ tickets at the theater were just the normal price of $11+. Huh? What’s going on here? Discount Tuesday has been a thing for years and this last year has been no different, so why suddenly are prices not the normally discounted price?

Come to find out, because both Christmas Eve and New Years Eve are the night before a holiday, the theater suspended the special price to take advantage of the fact that maybe more people would want to go see movies. Really? They’re going to jack the normally low price up for two days just so they can take advantage of their customers?

To me, it smacks of “price gouging,” because it is taking advantage of an abnormal situation to make more money. The official definition doesn’t say anything about a “state of emergency” or “disaster,” but if you look at legal definitions it tends to lean in that direction.

I guess it probably isn’t really price gouging, but it feels really shady when you are standing in line to buy tickets with your kids and what would have been a $25 night at the movies turns into $60 (before you even buy popcorn or snacks) because you have no choice at that point. I watched family after family be surprised by the unique “price adjustment” and the unspoken visual debate between husband and wife take place via their eyes. There were some who just turned around and left, but not very many. As parents, it’s hard to turn around and leave when you have all those eyes staring at you in expectation. So, they break the budget to make it happen.

Real shady, AMC. Real shady.

Pick up

Posted on August 20, 2019 by backuphill

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Time for a good ol’ fashioned rant about kids.

What is the freakin’ deal with kids these days? Specifically my own, but really it must be more than just my own. I may be a matter of culture at this point.

Here’s the thing: It doesn’t matter how old they are, they just don’t/won’t pick up after themselves.

When the adult children come over, they leave crap laying around. Stuff they used – dishes, a towel, a coat, shoes, personal possessions…then throw in if they have kids and then there is all their crap spread all over the place like the dang toy chest exploded. The adult kids don’t even pick up after their own kids. They leave stuff in the yard and spread out all over. They leave stuff in the driveway. They leave stuff in the bathroom, living room, etc. You get the point.

We got after them as kids to clean up after themselves. We disposed of things when they didn’t pick up after themselves and being warned. We grounded them. We yelled. Why did the message not get through? Wait, maybe it did. Maybe they are just that lazy that they don’t care. From the oldest to the youngest, it’s a problem. Not they have multiplied and their minions are doing the same thing.

Ugh.

I think I’ll move to Siberia. As least there it will be minimally populated and I won’t have to pick up after people.

Whether they are adults or not, what do you kids do that annoys you?

Seat for one

Posted on August 16, 2019 by backuphill

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It has been a summer of doing stuff on my own. Mostly traveling to different extended family events in other parts of the state. Back forth I go!

Once again, I am off on my own this weekend. The family is going in many different directions and when the kids get to be of the age where they have cars and jobs, they have to start making choices between participation and doing this “adult-ish.”

So, once again, I have reserved a seat for one at a family gathering.

I am not sure if I am complaining or bragging. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t that way, but at other times I don’t mind it because I don’t have to be accountable to or worry about anyone but me. There is freedom in that. I can eat when I want. I can stop on the way there when I want. I can take my time and get there when I want.

OK, I guess I am not really complaining on this when I look at it that way.

Do you value your time alone when you are traveling or would you prefer to do it with others?