Feeling it

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Snap, crackle, and pop.

Grunt, groan, sigh.

OH, that hurts!

Wait, why does that hurt? I didn’t do anything! It didn’t hurt earlier in the day when I was shoveling gravel for 30 minutes and climbing in and out of a dump trailer at a 30 degree angle. Why does it hurt now?

All I did was slide into bed…

This getting old thing is not something to shake a stick at. I guess neither is the outta shape thing either. Combined, they make for the perfect pairing of mysterious hurts, aches, and ailments.

Last night I suddenly felt a twinge of pain in the left hip area when I slide into bed. Weird. I didn’t have that before. Needless to say, it woke me up a few times as I shifted positions.

It hasn’t bothered me much today but it was just one of those reminder pains that let’s me know I am getting old.

What reminds you that you are getting old?

Search what?

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I am not sure if you take a look at the stats page for your blog. There is some interesting stuff on there. Which of your blogs was read, how many site visitors, likes, comments, where people are from when they look, and in some cases even what someone was searching for when they found your site. Look for “Search Terms” on your stats page. It might just be entertaining!

Yesterday, for some odd reason and obviously not known to me, someone found the blog by searching for “office piss.”

I’m not joking. I serious, though keeping a straight face may not be possible.

What are you searching for when you type that into the search bar?

  • Looking for directions to the office bathroom?
  • A comment about the quality of coffee in the staff break room?
  • Incomplete sentence?
  • It it some kind of slang or urban dictionary thing about gossip?
  • Code words for the watercooler?
  • Reminder about a staff meeting?

So, I tried it. I searched for it. I would recommend not actually seeing what you get in the search results. I looked. Unless you are looking for porn, that’s what you’ll get as top results…which then leads me to wonder, how did they get to my site?

One will never know how the algorithms work. It’s mysterious magic, or voodoo. Probably voodoo.

Take a look at your stats and see if you get a chuckle from yours. What are some of the weird “Search Terms” used to find you?

It’s lost on me

woman wears black leather zip up jacket

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Mysteries of life. Mysteries in life. Whatever, just mysteries.

In my years of life I have many things that cause me to pause and wonder. There are just some things I just don’t understand and I guess I probably never will. Why do people do the things they do?

Today’s mystery? Why do women color their hair a color that isn’t a hair color?

Maybe it’s because I’m “a dumb boy.” Maybe I really can blame it on my maleness. Or, could it be that women are just incomprehensible? There is no way to figure out women so why bother? Maybe it’s a combination of both. I don’t really know. But what I do know is that I am seeing more and more women color their hair in NOT natural hair colors and I wonder why.

Example: I saw a picture on Instagram of a former student who is now in her late 20s who is the mom to several children and she just dyed her hair a bright pink color. I am not talking highlights. I am talking flat out, all the way, bright pink – there is no hiding it pink. She says, “It makes her feel more like herself.” What does that mean??

I have never understood why people feel the need to dye their hair a color that isn’t natural. Is it for attention? It is to be unique? Is it to stand out in a crowd? I understand that some people would want to hide the gray or maybe want to have highlights or even just want to try a different natural color. But, to do something that is just so radical, well, it just doesn’t compute.

So, what makes a woman feel the need to make such a change?

Inquiring minds want to know.

That zit, I’ve had it!

pimple-forehead-13000754

Stock photo from some random Google search.

Of course, I wake up and there is a freaking beacon of red, flashing on my forehead this morning. Of course. Where the hell did that come from?

Zit. Pimple. Blemish. Skin eruption.

Is it me, or do guys/men have a distinct disadvantage when dealing with this kind of stuff? I mean, if something of this sort happens to a woman (ok, I am generalizing here), they have products to deal with it, AND at the very least something to cover it up. Guys, we don’t have those kinds of products…or at least a vast majority of men don’t. So, now what?

To add to this already relatively unattractive mug, I now have something to stare at as I present in front of a group or talk to clients. Great. Just great. As if I didn’t already have a reason to feel self-conscious.