Not even

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You’ve probably heard this one:

“Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

It’s a great saying. I like it. I try to keep it in perspective when dealing with my personal and work life.

But there are a lot of people who seem to feel the opposite. Everything is an emergency, and it has to be taken care of right now! Like seriously, right now!

We see it all the time in the “Me” culture.

What’s more worrisome is that parents are allowing it or, worse, encouraging it. Children who have every need and want catered to when they are young, instead of having to earn it, work for it, struggle for it, are causing us to see it in society at large. What’s even worse is when two people in a house can’t agree how to handle “emergencies” when it comes to adult children and bad choices. As such, there are a lot of “emergencies” in my life that frustrate the hell outta me.

Anyway, seen a “Karen” lately?

Probably. Definitely can be attributed to the “Me” culture, but could it also be that we have conditioned ourselves to “everything’s an emergency”? As such, people expect to have their every need and want fixed right now.

Let me say, not even.

Karen, children, others…all need to hear that saying above WAY more often.

 

 

Want to?

Head in Hands

No, actually I don’t want to.

Adulting.

Being required to do things we don’t want to sucks.

No, I don’t want to wear a mask every fricking place I go.

No, I don’t want to follow stupid city and country rules about how to use my own property.

No, I don’t want to go your stupid trainings.

No, I don’t want to help the constantly needy and irresponsible kids, again.

No, I don’t want to mow the lawn.

No, I don’t want to pay stupid taxes so my money can be used by stupid people for stupid things.

No, I am not answering your stupid question(s).

No, I don’t want to pull weeds.

No, I am not going to do your job for you.

No, I don’t want to go to work.

No, I don’t want to share my food.

No, I don’t want to make you food.

No, I don’t want to exercise.

No, I don’t want to eat something other than pizza and burgers. And ice cream. And chocolate chip cookies. And popcorn.

No, I don’t want to see people. Or talk to them.

No, I don’t want to stop rolling my eyes every time you say something.

No, I don’t want to stop pointing out every time you do something stupid and then it bites you in the ass.

No, I don’t want to listen to your ideas.

No. I don’t want to.

No.

I just don’t want to.

Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone agree with anything listed above? Got a “No, don’t want to…” to add?

Tell me what you think or add another in the comments!

 

Loud and clear

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You ever feel like you are under-appreciated?

We just passed a holiday of sorts – Father’s Day.

I remembered my dads. I have three (dad and two FILs). It’s an easy thing to do, right? Talk to one, remember the others. Acknowledge them, appreciate them, take time out of your day to help them feel special for a moment. Doesn’t take a long time, but it is important.

Now, background here…I married into a lot of kids the second time around. Most of them adults by the time they came into my life. So now, including spouses of the kids who are married, there are eight.

Could of days ago, I heard from three.

That’s it. Three.

Didn’t hear a peep from 5 of the 8. There haven’t even been any “after the fact” acknowledgements either.

So, now full disclosure, you know the source of a LOT of the Piss and Moan material.

I try to deny the fact and ignore it, but there just isn’t any denying it.

Look, I realize they have another dad. I haven’t ever expected to be the top of the list. But at the very least acknowledged? Yes.

I am not looking for anything fancy, lord knows that most of them can’t afford crap (see other, numerous, posts about adult children living in our house or on our property). But it doesn’t take much to make someone feel appreciated, right?

Is it wrong for me to feel this way?

 

Project overload

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Spring and summer…

…mean projects.

Somehow, I keep adding projects to my list instead of actually finishing the ones I have already going. I am getting to project overload. Or is it projects overlord? Either way, I have enough to do for the rest of the summer.

I gotta stop this.

I can only track so many things at once. Men have “boxes” and too many “boxes” means that we can’t get anything done because we are trying to arrange and balance those “boxes.”

As such, focus is lost because now I am worrying about how to make those boxes work.

Time to dump boxes and focus on one.

Which is most important? One thing at a time. Please.

Roofers

architecture build building construction

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The sun is out.

It will be for (at least according to the fairly inaccurate Weather App) for the next two weeks. Of course, weatherpeople can be wrong 80% of the time and still people look to them to provide answers.

Anyway, the roof still hasn’t been done and, as of writing, I have no idea if I am on the schedule for anytime over the next two weeks. Supposedly, two weeks ago, my house was slated to be done the following week when I reached out to them, but that was weather dependent, of course. I understand that part.

Its rather tiresome that the tarp on the roof of the house has been there since mid to late November. In that time, I have contacted 12 roofing companies. Five have come out to give estimates. Two have had signed estimates returned to do the work. One ghosted me. The other is still pending…

I was hoping it would be done before the end of the month, but I guess what little optimist is in me (I am 94% pessimist) is growing tired of waiting.

Tired of the run around. Tired of climbing on the roof to check the tarp. Tired of worrying about water destroying the house. Tired of worrying about ants.

Tired.

Sometimes, not owning a home would be nice.

 

Refi update

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Big banks suck!

I already knew this, you already know this, but didn’t have a say in the matter upon initial purchase of the house. We have been through three refi’s with Chase Bank over the last 7 years and none of them were this bad. There was, of course, some jumping through hoops but nothing too out of the ordinary.┬áIn the past they have been relatively painless to work with, until now.

My last update on the refi I spoke of the communication issues and bumbling of the person I was working with. It continued. It didn’t get better and the more I complained about it the less communicative they got.

Anyway, I submitted all the docs the required from the start. Things are moving along. They get communication issues and then want to have me submit more docs that were never asked for the previous three times we refi’d. Um, what? Oh, and then the also wanted signed statements about things from the past they never asked about previously too. Um, no. Not gonna do it since they were not relevant then and they aren’t relevant now.

When they said the refi couldn’t go forward until the documents were submitted I protested. Nothing has changed in the last two years (that was the last refi) and really all they needed to do was get some updated financial statements. Nothing else they wanted pertained to the situation. But, they said they needed these because of “law changes.”

Um, what law changes? Neither person I spoke to could say specifically. They just kept repeating it – because that’s how society works these days…if you repeat it enough, it become “true.”

**Note, I had begun the process with a different bank at this point and they haven’t asked the questions Chase Bank was asking, so “law changes” my ass…**

So, I told them to cancel the application since it wasn’t going to move forward. That’s when their disclosure about the “good faith” deposit stole my $500. Because I didn’t submit documents they were requesting and because I cancelled the application, not because they declined me, they had the right to keep my money.

Essentially, that means the bank could literally ask you for anything and if you don’t comply they keep your money. I see how it is, Chase. You got me. My bad.

So, in essence, the bank contacted me about a refi to lower my rates. I jumped through the immediate hoops thinking it would be simple since I am already a current customer, and then they jacked the process to make it unreasonably difficult.

Looks like the bank robbers ride again!

I would advise not doing business with Chase Bank. Ever.

 

Pantry

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Working from home has created some issues…

The pantry is taunting me.

Like, seriously, it yells my name EVERY DAY and it wants me to constantly visit with it. Like I mean, it wants to snuggle and stuff. It’s weird, I know, but I can’t explain it any other way.

I try not to listen. I turn the music up. I have meetings. I blindfold myself.

But it is persistent.

It has scrumptious treats. They are salty. They are crunchy. They are sweet. They are spicy…

Resistance is nearly futile. I can’t escape it.

It calls me when I am working. It calls me when I am sleeping. It calls me when I am on the couch. It calls me even when I am out in the yard (it just yells louder…)

I have tried disconnecting my number but it still manages a way to get in touch.

It’s irritating really. But, oh so enticing too…

Wait, what?

Did you hear that? It’s calling again. I’ll go see what it wants now. If I am not back in 10 minutes, leave me alone. We’re snuggling again.

Better luck

man old depressed headache

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Projects. So much time for projects.

BUT, do you have a project you want/need to do but are putting off because you aren’t sure the results you’ll get are what you want?

Don’t you hate it when you work on something and you have it all laid out in your head but then it doesn’t turn out like you envisioned it? OR, maybe it doesn’t go the way you want and it ends up being more trouble than it was worth, falling into that “Better luck next time” category of tasks?

I had one last night like that latter of those two. A retractable screen door on the house needed to be fixed. The most expensive option was to just replace the thing and with a new one or the other option was to buy parts for half the original cost and attempt repairs with no instructional manual. There was a vote and I lost, so repairs it was.

After much grunting, Pissing and Moaning, and not so quiet mutterings under my breath, I got to the project last night after work. And it went about as well as I thought it would. It was more trouble than it was worth. I would have rather started over with a new setup, but there is now a semi-functional screen door again. It just doesn’t work like it did when I originally installed it…which was perfectly (if I do say so myself). Now, it will make due but its not operating as smoothly as it could be.

Oh well.

So, I ask, do you have any projects you are dreading to tackle? Or did you do a project you dreaded only to regret tackling it afterwards?

I’m curious.

Ingratitude

horse laughing laughing horse

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Rampant.

What do you do when you feel as though your kindness and generosity are being taken advantage of? What do you do when there is a lack of gratitude from someone who should be extremely appreciative of the way you have bent over backwards for them?

I think most of us don’t do things for others because we want to be celebrated. I don’t think we do things for others because we are looking for publicity or because we want accolades. We do things for others because we see a need and want to meet it. For some of us, it’s in our nature. For others, well, we have to work at it on a regular basis.

But, how do you handle a situation where you stepped out of what your “normal” everyday life is like, to rearrange and disrupt your life for a while, to help someone out only to have them act in a way that shows little to no gratitude or actually appears they are taking advantage of the situation?

Yeah, strangers likely wouldn’t act this way.

Family? Family, on the other hand, usually does.

I found out last night that appearances aren’t what they seem and there has been some talking going on behind that back of some family members about other family members. Mind you, the secretive discussions are from those who are getting help (and desperately needed it at the time) about those who are giving the help (who saw the need and stepped in to help despite major misgivings).

Seems a bit shocking, doesn’t it? It actually doesn’t really surprise me. I mean it does, and it doesn’t. That has been the trend all along. Family bends over backwards to help other family members, only to find out that it cause issues inside the family and causes the ones helping to regret they helped.

Lessons learned? You would think so, but no. That’s the problem with having a generous, helping heart.

Ingratitude. Expectation. Greed. Under-appreciation. Irresponsibility.

It’s cliche, but that phrase “Looking a gift horse in the mouth” actually does mean something.