Overly distracted

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It’s hard to focus today. There are so many things going on in the office today that it doesn’t help. They have been shuffling, reimagining, rearranging, moving, reorganizing, whatever you want to call it, the office space. Cubes are moving people are shifting noise is being made. Besides all that distraction, there is more going on inside me.

It seems like there are a hundred different things going on in my head at any one time.

I can think of 30 other places I’d like to be other than at work.

I have 50 things I’d rather be doing than working.

I can think of probably 5 (maybe more) people I’d rather be spending time with.

Can’t say that I am the ideal employee today.

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Zero reaction

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I am pretty good at the poker face. I probably can brag that I have a pretty good RBF too. I can literally make it so people are not sure if I am joking or serious. It’s come in relatively handy in the past.

I admire people who can give no reaction to things that would normally generate a reaction. Today, not so much. I actually found it rather interesting that a joke I told generated next to no reaction, even though it’s a pretty good one.

I sent 10 different friends on Facebook each a different pun, hoping it would possibly help at least one of them to laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I mean, come on! How can you not get a laugh out of someone? How can you not get even an eye roll or a groan? How???

I guess I am not the only person with a poker face. I bet they were laughing inside…

Can you (or did you) keep a straight face?

It’s cold

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It’s cold in the house, and I am not talking about the actual temp.

Cold shoulder.

Silence.

Contempt.

Avoidance.

I know the reason, though I don’t agree and it certainly isn’t fair.

This isn’t a coldness that a blanket or a jacket can cover up. There is no bundling up against this kind of cold.

It cuts to the bone and straight to the heart.

Winter has set in during the middle of summer.

They really know

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Some people just really know how to push your buttons. Some people just really know how to make you feel lower than low. Some people just don’t show you any appreciation or love. Some of those people are people you just know, maybe they’re coworkers or acquaintances. But sometimes they are people that are supposedly close to you.

Step-kids.

Yesterday was the beginning of my 49th trip around the sun. It was a quiet day since the day before we were blanketed with about 9″ of snow (and the ensuing compact snow and ice on the roads). So, much of the day was spent watching tv, taking a nap, playing video games, and eating food.

Lots of people on social media, family and friends alike, issued wishes of cheer and congratulations on the day. That felt good.

Only two of the nine children (our six kids and three spouses/significant others) managed to communicate with me. MY daughter and the second oldest of the step-kids. That doesn’t feel nice.

They sure know how make me feel like crap…

Six(ty) Word Story

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We have talked about it over and over again. You know I don’t like it.

I have asked you not to do it. You agreed you wouldn’t.

Yet, you do it anyway. Are your actions that important to only you?

You just ignore me and my feelings, my requests.

I don’t understand. I’m confused.

I’ll just sit here hurt, alone.

Grumpy pants

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OK, I’ll admit it. I’m feeling a little like a grumpy pants today. Did I wake up on the “wrong side of the bed”? Nope. Just feeling grumpy. Not sure why. Just am.

Do you have days like this? Where all you want to do is scream from the top of your lungs, “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Yep. Today is one of those days for me.

Not that anyone is really bothering me, per se, but there is much to do at work and I don’t want to do it. There is much to do at home and I don’t want to do it.

I would prefer not to have anyone call me, see me, email me, message me, talk to me, look at me.

Actually, now that I think about it…I kinda feel like Bernie Sanders looked yesterday at the inauguration. Not that he was actually grumpy (at least not that I have heard), just that he didn’t look like he was all that pleased or excited to be there. He was probably just cold, but the image and all the memes being generated kind of says it all.

(Photo by Brendan SMIALOWSKI / AFP)

Just leave me alone and all will be good. Just let me hang out in my grumpy pants and be me.

That is all.

Enthused?

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Enthusiastic. Enthusiasm. Enthused.

Something that I am “less than” of.

OK, that last sentence is admittedly weird. But, maybe you got the point. There are things and people in my life that I am having a hard time getting enthused about or having any enthusiasm over. I am just feeling…blah…

Someone earlier in the week suggested meeting up. Nah. I’m fine. Didn’t feel any enthusiasm at the prospect.

Someone is visiting this weekend. Not all that enthused about it. I should be, since I haven’t seen the person since March and he’s my best friend in the world. But, I am just kind of…blah…

Is something wrong with me? Am I just going through a phase? Could it just be that I am so tired of people that relationships of any kind are just not worth the effort or excitement?

Anyone else experiencing this loss of enthusiasm over things they normally would feel enthused and energized by? If so, can you pin-point why you don’t feel the way you normally would?

If you need me, I’ll be over here the corner, not being enthusiastic about anything.

Shoulda

fawn pug lying on concrete surface

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I shoulda just called in sick today.

That’s not really the right attitude to have, but work sucks today.

I can think of hundreds of other things I’d rather be doing, or hundreds of other places I’d rather be.

Having a hard time dealing with it.

Just not motivated to exert myself in employment today.

My brain already hurts and I’m tired.

Shoulda. Shoulda done a lot of things. Shoulda, shoulda…

Obligation

gray box with silver ribbon

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I hate feeling obligated.

I hate feeling obligated to leave a tip at a restaurant if the service I received was just part of the ordering process. It’s one thing to leave a tip for a server and personal interaction. It is another thing to leave a tip for someone who took an order from behind a counter. I just won’t do it.

I hate feeling obligated to go out of my way for a family just because “we’re family.”

I hate getting invitations to an event and feeling obligated to go because someone has invited me.

I hate feeling obligated to eat the last cookie in the cookie jar because it is probably lonely.

I hate feeling obligated to do things for co-workers. I especially hate being invited to the wedding of a co-worker (by the co-worker, of course) I don’t particularly like all that much. I hate feeling obligated to go to the wedding because “everyone” (or nearly everyone) will be there. Look, just because you are a co-worker, doesn’t mean I want to hang out with you or celebrate your special moments with you outside of the workplace. We just aren’t that close and we never will be. So, I hate having the feeling obligation when it comes to attending this event.

How do I solve such a dilemma?

I’ll just stop having feelings. I am pretty good at that. No feelings? No feeling of obligation.

Done. Solved.

 

Blah

uyuni salt flat

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Just blah.

Blah, blah, blah.

After a few days of feeling under the weather, a Monday is the last thing I want. Oh, and work.

Who wants to work, on a Monday, anyways?

I am sure I could find 1000 other things I could be doing rather than being at work.

Not sure I am completely recovered, but I am on the mend.

How are you feeling today? Are you fully ready to tackle a new day? A new week?