Asking, for a friend…

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Asking for a friend. It’s a rhetorical question, really, but I still need to ask just to get it off my chest. You can provide your answers to the question in the comments, if you are so led. What would you do?

Scenario:

If you knew someone (let’s say a really good friend or even a family member) was struggling financially and you know that they had a history of making really poor decisions, what would you do when you learned they made yet another one?

Said someones are on state and federal assistance, have four kids, can’t keep up with rent or other bills, has debt collectors “knocking on the door,” and is basically using every sort of charity they can qualify for to meet needs the other sources can’t or won’t meet.

It’s tax return season and they likely will be getting a pretty substantial return based on the low income from the previous year and the number of children. There is also a pending 3rd stimulus payment coming up, so there is money coming in that could be used to do what needs to be done to get caught back up.

But, instead of using the money to do the right thing, some of the money is being used to ponder a move to another state, has been used to purchase flights to the possible state, and of course the spending for the trip will go up from there. The trip is being seen as a “vacation,” almost a scouting trip for their plans.

Advice?

They have been advised that moving is expensive (especially to a new state). They don’t have any prospects of a job at the place they would move. They have no real clue what the living expenses are like there.

They won’t listen to good counsel. Others have told them this is a terrible idea. Yet they charge forward.

So, I am asking for a friend…

What would you do? How would you address this? How would you go forward in this situation?

Once again

uyuni salt flat

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I don’t know why I bother, because I am going to be ignored either way.

Advice.

Why ask for it if you are going to completely ignore it?

Family. I tell ya.

Kids. *shakes head* Damn, kids.

When they ask for advice, they don’t really want advice. They just want validation for their own thoughts and opinions, and if you don’t give them what they want then they discount your advice and do what they wanted to do in the first place.

Gets old, ya know?

 

Listen

photography of person peeking

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It really sucks to see stuff happen to people.

But then again, there’s a reason the phrase “I told you so” often comes up in conversations after the fact. So, maybe it doesn’t suck. Dare I say it’s deserved?

It’s weird, isn’t it? How someone may (or may not have) ask for advice and you give it, and they ignore it. Then, almost as predictable as a fat kid near cake, what you predicted would happen happens and the only thing you can do is shake your head and bit your tongue as you think, “I told you so.”

When you ask someone with more life experience and they give you advice I would recommend you listen. Don’t just ask because you think it is the right thing to do or because you are looking for confirmation on the answer you want to hear. And if you don’t hear the answer you are looking for, certainly don’t go charging into the *insert problem/issue/dilemma/etc. here* without some serious other considerations. Ask more people. Sleep on it. Consider other options. Change course and see if something else will happen or something better comes about.

I hate being right.

No, actually, I don’t. I like being right.

Call me a jerk, if you want. But deep down, I know you like it too. And, secretly, we all like to be vindicated when we give advice and someone ignores it.

Are we bad people? No.

Should we celebrate in it? No. But we can secretly break our own arms patting ourselves on the back…go ahead and do it.

Feels nice, right?

At least that is better than sitting in public, pointing, and laughing. Of course, there may be a place for that too. But that’s a topic for another day.

Small dollar

four white sale boards

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Trying to sell your used stuff online is a challenge. I have talked about his before and the trials of unreliable people and people not following though, etc., etc., etc., …let’s just say I guess I like seeing the worst in humanity so I can complain about it. Glutton for punishment maybe?

Anyway, I have several items up for sale at the moment and they are only $5 items. Nothing big, nothing complicated and not looking to make bank.

Yesterday, I had someone contact me about one of those $5 items asking if I could meet him for a sale. If course, he wasn’t in my area and was a minimum of a 45 minute drive away.

Him: “Could you meet me in _________________?”

Me: “Sorry. That is at least 45 minutes away and I am not willing to travel for such a small dollar amount. If you are going to be in ____________________ in the next couple of days I would be happy to meet you.”

Him: “I can’t drive that far.”

Huh? Whatever. Seriously, dude? You’re gonna contact me over a $5 item and have me spend my time and money to bring it to you? Not happening.

These are rhetorical questions and I know the answers already, but “Are people really that stupid? Are people really so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t consider others and what they are asking?”

We are sunk. As a people, a human race, we are sunk.

 

Wise counsel

Grinding gears

Yeah, this today.

You know how you give someone advice you know is good advice because it comes from experience and yet they decide to do their own thing because they know better without having any experience (except failure)?

Yeah, grinds my gears.

I have not other words.


 

Ever find yourself giving wise counsel only to have it completely ignored?