Life | Piss and Moan

Internet spies

Posted on March 9, 2022 by backuphill

Have you noticed that the internet is spying on you? We joke about it, but have you been met with ads on social media shortly after you were talking about something, something that you haven’t ever looked at or shopped for previously?

Have you noticed that your electronic devices seem to be listening even when you aren’t using them? We’ve seen or heard examples where the “assistant” we willingly allowed in our homes have responded without prompting.

Freak you out a little?

How do airlines know to send me an email reminder about booking a flight I have looked at on their webiste but didn’t actually log into the website? I was just browsing for curiousity sake. Dreaming. But not 30 minutes after looking I receive an email asking or reminding me about booking the flight. Weird?

The fact is, any sense of privacy we have these days is an illusion. We like to assume we have privacy but in reality we don’t. We are beind spied on everywhere we go. Our phones track us. Our apps track us. Our computers track us. Our watches track us. Our tvs, appliances, gaming systems, streaming services, security cameras, cars, etc etc etc track us. Our spending is tracked. Our health is tracked. Our eating is tracked. Our exercise (or lack thereof, in my case) is tracked.

Can you name something that isn’t tracked? I bet you have a difficult coming up with a list of things that are free of tracking these days.

Sure, we allow it. We invite it onto our bodies, into our homes. We have asked for it to a degree. But at what point do we look at all of it and say enough is enough?

We trade privacy for convenience. Plain and simple.

Our assumption is that we have privacy and we have to blindly trust that it won’t be violated by the things we allow into our lives. We all know it is being violated though. We all know they’re lying to us.

So why do we keep doing it?

Internal combustion

Posted on March 7, 2022 by backuphill

There are a lot of things going on right now in the world and I suppose this little title could apply to the the various technologies that use fuel and internal combustion to run them. Damn, gas is getting expensive! This post is about a totally different subject, but what reason in hell were we buying Russian oil for when we could completely rely on our own source of oil but refuse to tap into it?

Anyway…

The internal combustion I am referring to is actually inside of me.

Someone said the other day said that they thought something was going on inside of me that maybe I hadn’t recognized or identified yet. They had noticed that my usual level of grumpiness had increased to a level I might not be aware of but that others were noticing. It was mentioned that perhaps it was my newfound age of 50, or maybe it was something at work, or maybe it was…nothing else was pointed out.

I said that I didn’t think that I was all that grumpy, at least not that I was aware of. It was news to me if people thought I was grumpier than normal.

As I thought about it a bit more through the day, I thought that maybe there was something going on. I don’t know if I have really put a finger on it yet. As I am thinking of where I am in life at the moment and current circumstances, I can see (or feel) that I am unsettled. I am finding myself frustrated with everything that has to do with my current situation. Daily life has become a chore and finding joy in places that one would think it could be found just isn’t providing it. Instead, those places are kinda killing the joy.

As such, there may be a little internal combustion going on as I am trying to keep a lid on the unhappiness, the joylessness, the irritability, the frustration, the distaste for my current state. It’s not that I want to tear everything down, torch it to the ground, or start completely over. It’s just when I look around me, I don’t know how I got here and I didn’t envision myself here, and I don’t want to really stay here. Does that make sense?

Call it a mid-life crisis? Nah, I don’t think so. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. I don’t think it is.

The internal combustion inside of me is keeping me moving (hopefully in a positive direction) but the fire in me sometimes gets rather dim when I am tired of being the rather responsible one. It gets tiring being the one who carries everything on his shoulders and keeps the plates spinning and keeps the wagon train headed in the correct direction. The one who hold it all together, all the time, every time.

Maybe I am just burned out on life right now.

My engine isn’t running at it’s prime, that’s for sure.

Perhaps I am just one cycle from failure, explosion, or implosion.

New decade

Posted on February 14, 2022 by backuphill

It’s a milestone I guess. Or maybe a millstone. Eh, let’s go with milestone.

I am entering a new decade as of today.

50.

Nothing seems different, yet it does. Today is really the same as it was yesterday. I am not sure how I feel about it.

When I turned 40 I didn’t think it was all that big a deal. Now that I am 50, as of today, I would like to think it isn’t that big a deal yet there is something in the back of my head that makes me feel like its a big deal. Guess its hard to explain.

I know that my brain doesn’t feel 50. My brain tells me all the time that I am not old and I can do all kinds of things that I did when I was a lot younger. However, my body keeps telling me something different. My brain says, “Do it! You still got it!” My body says, “Go ahead, punk. Do you feel lucky?”

As an example, this week leading up to the big day there were close calls that made me think this old thing could get really old really fast…I was on a two step stool putting at canvas print on the mantle above the fireplace. I had just balanced it and was starting back down the stool steps and suddenly the canvas tipped and clocked me on the top of the head. Obviously, I wasn’t prepared for this so the surprise of being struck in the head was enough of a distraction that I missed the middle step and landed directly on the floor. Again, this was a surprise on the other end of the body and my knee didn’t like that so it promptly hyper-extended as celebration for finding the floor earlier than expected. I was hobbled for a day or two.

Is this what getting old feels like all the time? Minor aches and pains suddenly become something bigger and more concerning? The aches and pains happen more often and more quickly?

Well, cheers to getting older and hello AARP…

Suddenly sucks

Posted on February 2, 2022 by backuphill

Work.

There is too much of it, so I write a blog post about it instead.

Seems fair.

I am actually procrastinating because I don’t really want to dive into the overwhelming list of things that needs to get done. It seems the list continues to grow every day and I am not taking many things off of it.

Work suddenly sucks. I never really thought it would get this way. Don’t get me wrong, I still like what I do and the people I work with, but there is generally a feeling of dread each morning before I go to work…and I am exhausted when I am done with it.

Our normal team of 17 is down to 14. Well, 14 and a quarter.

I say a quarter because we recently hired someone to replace a co-worker that left back in October. But, he thing with this hire is that the management went with someone who has no background, no history, no knowledge of the software at all. The new hire has a lot of technical skill from their time in the military, but no skills that actually help the team at the moment, and likely won’t really contribute to the team in a meaningful sense for probably a year. The new hire will be great once up to speed, but in the meantime it will be painful for the rest of us.

The reason we are so far behind in hiring is that we had two co-workers leave to go to other jobs in the same field at about the same time. One of those people had 18 years of experience and knowledge go with them and the other had about two years of direct knowledge and many years of ancillary knowledge go with them. We have only replaced one of them.

We also had a co-worker die recently from an extended battle with lung cancer. Again, there was many years of experience and knowledge lost as a result. We all felt this loss in different ways and we are all trying to pick up the slack since it happened. The co-worker had actually been working all the way up to two weeks before their death.

So, if you are keeping track, we are down two (basically three) positions and there is also an impending retirement coming up in the next several months. Then we will be down three (basically four) positions. They have just posted the position for one of the jobs…and we’re all hoping for some really outstanding, qualified, and experience candidates. The problem is that they are only going to be replacing one at this point.

I’m just tired. And overwhelmed.

It has to get better soon.

On fire

Posted on January 26, 2022 by backuphill

Anyone else feel like the world is on fire? Like, if you were to stand still for a moment and take a look around “everything” seems to be burning up, falling down, getting destroyed?

Look at the news – crap.

Look at health – crap.

Look at finances – crap.

Look at law and order – crap.

Look at the assault on freedom loving people – crap.

Look at the disregard for the Constitution – crap.

Look at safety – crap.

Look at spending and deficits – crap.

Look at the disintegration of infrastructure – crap.

Look at education – crap.

Look at younger generations – crap.

Look at entertainment (music, movies, tv, etc) – crap.

Look at leadership – crap.

Look at political leadership – totally crap.

Look at exploitation people, the environment, goverment – crap.

Look at the “social justice” being pushed – crap.

Look at the loss of moral ideology, leadership, fortitude, living – crap.

Look at….you name it and it’s probably crap too.

Everything has gone to crap, is on “fire” and any semblance of returning to “normal” is pure fiction. If you believe that anything will “go back to the way it was” you are lying to yourself and to everyone around you. It ain’t. It won’t. The hope of such return is gone.

“The good ol’ days” isn’t really a thing because everything has a different perception of what was “good” so we can’t really hope for something that people can’t agree on.

Anyway, anyone else feel this way? It’s been a bit overwhelming as of late and it really makes one consider moving to some place that has no contact with the outside world.

Dreaded tasks

Posted on January 24, 2022 by backuphill

Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

I spent the weekend doing stuff I just really dislike. Chores that probably really need to be done and I can do so that I don’t have to pay someone else to do them, but chores that are not a pleasure to do by any means.

The washing machine (front loaders really do suck, don’t buy one even though they are being pushed like hell) hasn’t been working all that well as of late, so it was time to clean out the filter and rebalance to see if that helped. Disassembled, adjusted, cleaned, water everywhere (there’s no good way to keep that from happening), and then rebalanced (never mind the fact that the house isn’t level or square). All of that to find out that, other than cleaning out the filter) that it pretty much operates the same as before all that effort.

Cool. I hate life.

Then it was the dryer. Time to clean out the dryer vent.

Shop vac, cleaner brush tool, drill, duct tape, and hours of effort. Good lord! There was a ton of lint in there! CLEAN OUT YOUR DRYER VENT AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR! Anyway, that part was relatively easy. But, as I was putting it all back together I realized after starting the dryer back up to blow some of the remnant lint out of the line that it wasn’t pushing air like I expected…which means it was disconnected some place under the house. Damn. So, another 30 minutes getting ready the supplies I would need under the house and then moving everything in the way to get to the crawl space. Sure enough, disconnected. So, I put that all back together and got it all cleaned up. Not it works like it should.

Today I am sore and stiff.

I am too old for this crap.

I truly hate doing these kinds of chores. I am also cheap, so paying someone to do them isn’t even a consideration. I just suck it up and deal.

But seriously, why does it always have to go sideways every time? There is always an issue. Always something that needs to be repaired or adjusted after doing it. Why can’t it just go smoothly and with zero hassle?

Anyone else hate certain chores or tasks that they do because they don’t want to pay someone to do it? What are they?

Traffic in Oregon

Posted on January 10, 2022 by backuphill

There are a lot of things wrong in Oregon. The direction of the state, politically speaking, is headed entirely in the wrong direction and the policies of the state are on full view as you drive through the state. However, that isn’t the point of this post.

I am not sure what the hell is wrong with drivers down there, but they (as a whole; generalization, I know) are terrible.

My recent trip through the state left me with a bad impression. It seems many of the drivers down there have little road knowledge or just have decided they are going to have no roadway courtesy at all. I couldn’t drive quickly enough to get through the state after all the frustration.

First case in point, left lane vs. right lane.

I-5 through most of the state is two lanes wide. Sure, it widens to some degree in major cities and through mountain passes, as needed, but for the most part there are more miles of two lanes than three. This is a problem for drivers who are going through the state.

It seems in Oregon a vast majority of the drivers (I can see license plates so I know what state they are from) like to camp in the left lane instead of being courteous and moving back to the right lane after overtaking a vehicle. They just perpetually are left lane drivers.

Now, for the road illiterate…on a two lane highway, the right lane is for slower vehicles (in general) and “local” travel. The left lane is the “fast” lane and for through (or distance) travel. However, courtesy says that on a two lane highway traffic should keep right except for passing (in some cases, like WA, it is state law). Regardless of your speed, even if you are “fast,” you should still move to the right (if space allows, think minimum 100 yards) until you overtake the next vehicle.

Anyway, Oregon drivers apparently don’t know these rules or they have total disregard for them. I can’t tell you the number of times I had to step on the brake to come out of cruise control to slow down behind a long line of vehicles in the left lane. In some cases, it was actually faster and a greater distance of free travel in the right lane because of these idiots!

I’ll tell you…you learn things on road trips (or maybe are reminded) and I learned again and was reinforced that I dislike people, and Oregon.

**disclaimer: I do really like the natural beauty in Oregon, but that is about it.**

“Back order”

Posted on January 4, 2022 by backuphill

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Took my car in for service today. It was actually needed before the long drive over the holiday, but timing just didn’t work well. Before I left for vacation, I set up the appointment for when I got back. That works out to just about two weeks before the the appointment.

The appointment is the scheduled 45k mile checkup. This is the one recommended by the manufacturer. So I expected, given the lead time, that there would be no issues in completing the work needed for this appointment. As a business, I expected they would have all the stuff they needed for the appointment lined up before the appointment. That would be good customer service – so that it is all done in one trip.

I guess I expected too much.

They don’t have the air filter needed for my car. This is the dealership, mind you.

It’s the whole, “We’re having a hard time getting parts” and “Everything is back ordered” and “Come back another day and we can just slap that thing in” and “We’ll have it by 3:00 (later) today.”

So now I need to make a second trip over here because you didn’t check to see if you had all the parts needed for this very specific check up?

That’s not good customer service.

Good grief.

Anyone else experienced this whole “back order/supply chain” excuse lately? That seems to be a pretty standard answer when a business can’t delivery on the services they are selling. Is this REALLY that bad of an issue or are businesses just using it as crutch?

Kind of like the whole “national coin shortage”? There is’t one really. Business seems pretty normal to me.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I give grace for something like this when there was time to prepare or give me a head’s up before the appointment?

Do I really?

Posted on January 3, 2022 by backuphill

It’s been a week and a half of vacation and today is back to work. I am sure if you have been on vacation over the holidays, or even if you just had some extended weekends because of the holidays, your morning conversation with yourself went similarly to mine.

ALARM

“Ugh…I don’t want to get up. What happened to vacation?”

ALARM

“Seriously. Do I really need a job?”

SHOWER

“Maybe I can call in sick for one more day?”

DRESSING

“Pretty sure the next 17 years to retirement are going to suck…”

COFFEE

“I might make it through the day.”

EMAIL CATCH-UP

“Why did I get up today? Do I really need a job? Is there ANY possible way to retire early with minimal effort?”

Anyone else have this conversation with themselves this morning? Am I the only one?

Zero reaction

Posted on December 15, 2021 by backuphill

I am pretty good at the poker face. I probably can brag that I have a pretty good RBF too. I can literally make it so people are not sure if I am joking or serious. It’s come in relatively handy in the past.

I admire people who can give no reaction to things that would normally generate a reaction. Today, not so much. I actually found it rather interesting that a joke I told generated next to no reaction, even though it’s a pretty good one.

I sent 10 different friends on Facebook each a different pun, hoping it would possibly help at least one of them to laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I mean, come on! How can you not get a laugh out of someone? How can you not get even an eye roll or a groan? How???

I guess I am not the only person with a poker face. I bet they were laughing inside…

Can you (or did you) keep a straight face?